i am 16 and i have a 23 year old boyfriend but sometimes it feels like he doesnt really love me like he says he does. can a 23 year old really be in love with a 16 year old?
or does he only look for sex?
me and him are sexually active.
how can you test him to see if he really likes me?
2006-12-02 15:11:27 · 51 answers · asked by ♠<>♥<> 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Try not having sex with him and see how he reacts.
He sounds like a pedophile.
2006-12-02 15:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like he doesn't really love you, then you should leave the relationship. I can't say that I agree with the other comments because my boyfriend is 24, and I'm 18. We started dating when I was 17, but we are not sexually active. The age gap can sometimes cause a big issue with others, as you can tell. I don't believe he has to necessarily be in it for the sex. I liked the idea from one of the previous posters. Don't have sex with him for a week or so, and if he gets really agitated over it, break up with him because that's clearly all he wants. If he can handle you two not doing anything involving sex for a few days, then he isn't in the relationship for just that. You should also talk to him about how you feel. Communication is key in any relationship. Tell him that you're not sure that he loves you like he says he does. Are there any other reasons that you don't feel this way? Does he call you? Take you out on dates? Treat you with respect? Do you get along mostly with few arguments? And, I can't exactly answer the first question. I know that a 23 year old guy can be in love with a 17 year old girl, so, it's possible. If he truly loves you, he'll listen to your feelings.
2006-12-05 17:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by Liz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. I was 16 and dating a 23 year old. Looking back on it now, that I am 23 myself, I could never see myself with a 16 year old. He and I were sexually active at the time, and I often wondered if he was only with me because of that. We both said 'I love you' and all that, but I don't think either of us really meant it. I'm sure he can like you a lot, but as far as love goes, I hate to say it, but I wouldn't count on it. Not to look down on you because you are only 16, but being older,you have a slightly different definition of love and the ways things should be. My boyfriend and I broke up after 6 months because we were just too different. It had nothing to do with age. As far as testing him, you should ask yourself first if you really do want to be in love with him. If you can answer that positively, then it would be okay trying to push the boundaries of your relationship. Otherwise, it seems like it would just be a waste of your time. Like everyone else says, I would cut back the sex. Most (if not all) guys of any age group are out for sex before love. No guy sees a cute girl and says, "Man, I would love to fall in love with her. Then maybe some day we can have sex." If worse comes to worse, you can always just tell him how you feel, and then tell him your plan, too. They say "honesty is the best policy", and "the key to a healthy relationship is communication", and all that stuff, but in the end, you will know if he's right for you and if the relationship is a keeper. Sorry to be so long and cheesy with this answer.
2006-12-02 15:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes in theory I think he could be in love with you. However I lost my virginity at 15 to a 21 year old guy so I speak from experience here - this is not a good idea. What type of 23 year old man would look to a 16 year old girl for a girlfriend? Ask yourself that, and you'll have your answer. Sure there are a rare few that can make it work, but in generally a guy like that can't get dates his own age because he is deficient in some area.
Guys tend to be immature for their age anyway, I know it's hard to date high school guys. I always went out with older ones myself. And as you get older a 7 year age gap is nothing. But it's a big deal now.
2006-12-02 16:18:42 · answer #4 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, honey, your relationship is ILLEGAL and he is considered a PAEDOPHILE and with you having sex with him, even WITH your consent, he is legally a rapist because you are underage and your consent doesn't have a legal standing: you can't make your own choices here. He has been a legal adult for several years and you are still legally a child.
I won't say that a 23 year old couldn't love a 16 year old, as how many relationships have that much (or more) of a gap in the partners' ages...but you need to be careful. He could just be using you but maybe not. And as I said, from a legal standpoint, he has NO RIGHT to be with you. You need to find someone your own age, IMO and leave a serious relationship for later on in your life.
2006-12-02 20:45:11 · answer #5 · answered by BraidyLocks 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fist mistake was the sex. and usually a 23 year old isnt REALLY in love with a 16 year old. and you have your whole life ahead of you, so please dont waste it on him. Why would a 23 year old date a 16 year old? he could get in big trouble... They usually dont date 16 year olds unless they want something out of it (ie sex) so try bringing limitations to the relationship. it will be hard for you and you may not want to , but its the best thing. once you start with the physical relationship thats all you end up with no love just physical satisfatction. and emotionally thats hard.
2006-12-02 17:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by ashley648403 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is in lust with you and he has yet to mature to be interested in women his own age, so he seeks a younger girl and dotes on her lack of experience with older guys, because they are smarter than young girls, they have been around the block sweetie, they have done what any 16 year old has about 7 or 8 years back, you see what I am saying? They know the ropes well as far as being a sixteen year old mind, and that is also statutory rape... if your parents at all care or knew they could prosecute him for raping you, even if you consented to it....
2006-12-02 15:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Sistah Flow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt love you he just using you as a booty call. Why would a 23 year old date a 16 year old? Thats another R kelly right there.
2006-12-03 03:07:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A 23 can be in love with a 16 year old... when I was almost 15 I was dating a 23 year old... we r engaged and i am pregnant with twins :)
2006-12-02 20:05:53 · answer #9 · answered by Yahmina 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A 23 year old guy doesn't have much in common with a 16 year old girl unless he's immature for his age. He's more likely looking for someone he can manipulate and control.
Think, honestly, does he boss you around? Does he yell at you? Does he physically abuse you, verbabally abuse you or emotionally abuse you. Does he try to keep you from seeing/talking to your friends or family.
He's using you - at 16 you should be doing your homework, going to basketball games and looking forward to "Spring Fling'. You shouldn't be having to worry about birth control or fear being pregnant.
I wouldn't withhold sex, I would break it off with him and enjoy being in high school. Yea, I know - but it is possible to enjoy some aspects of high school. You shouldn't be dating anyone who's graduated high school - or old enough to have graduated.
I take it he's not in college, or he would be dating college girls. Did he even graduate? If not, then, that tells you his future is not very bright, and yours won't be either.
Sorry, hun, but, he's no good for you. I know you'll feel sad for a while if you break up with him, but you have to look out for your future.----------what do your parents have to say?
2006-12-02 16:18:52 · answer #10 · answered by kids and cats 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if he really loves you he will wait till you are 18 or older, he will not get mad that you are trying to protect him by waiting. and if you really love him and respect yourself you will stop any ties with him other than a friendship, because if you dont statutory rape is the futureand it would be partly your fault for not quiting while you had the chance, what would happen if you got pregnate? it would be 2x as bad for the both of you, so if you have any self respect and love for the guy stop having sex till your atleast 18, and he will understand if he loves you too, that is the ultimate test, i hope you do the right thing and all turns out good
live
love
prosper
2006-12-02 15:34:29 · answer #11 · answered by popeye 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋