i think it may be lacking alliteration.
Shopping shopping shopping!
shoes, skirts, and shoes
sale sale sale!
perfect Prices
Saturday and Sunday
spot stylish stuff
Fall for fashion
Torn between the two?
buy both!
hope some of my ideas help you.
2006-12-02 15:10:43
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Shopping,
Jeans, skirts, makeup...
Sale! Sale! Sale!
Find perfect prices,
Open Friday and Saturday,
Get stylish stuff,
Fall for fashion,
Torn between the two?
Get both!
Perhaps... I'm not a poet though.... so you may have some artistic liberty!
2006-12-02 15:04:09
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answer #2
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answered by Just2BMe 3
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Shopping
Jeans, skirts, and makeup (jeans, skirts and makeup is better)
Sale, sale, sale!
Find perfect prices (prices does not need a capital p)
Open Friday and Saturday (Friday and Saturday do need caps)
Get stylish stuff
Fall for fashion
Torn between the two?
Get both!
And I think its best to capitalise each letter at the beginning of each line here.
Thats the best I can do!
2006-12-02 15:20:03
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answer #3
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answered by totallyfree2rhyme 3
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I'm not a great grammar guru (sorry, couldn't resist) but I think days of the week should be capitalized.
Also, I am not sure if you should have a comma after the first two uses of the word sale in line three.
2006-12-02 15:03:10
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answer #4
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answered by chameleon 3
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How about this version ( I am a good poet myself):
Shopping:
Shoes, jeans, ands skirts.
Oh wat a beautiful butterfly shirt!
Strappies, flip flops, and heels so sikinny and tall,
You can only get it at his place: the mall!
It's where you find the most cute jeans, and a matching top,
that's what I like to do, SHOP SHOP SHOP!
2006-12-02 15:08:51
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answer #5
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answered by Josette M 2
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There was like no alliteration in that poem at all...
2006-12-02 15:05:58
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answer #6
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answered by reck 1
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