Do you think monogamy is a long term solution to living life? Because it seems many married people who don't get divorced seem to be unhappy on a day to day basis. Your comments please.....
2006-12-02 14:29:31 · 27 answers · asked by Dave..... 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm divorced, and I speak from experience. Marriage is like a revolution from a capitalist society to a communist society. In a capitalist society, if you get crappy service form a restaurant or a gas station or a crack house, you can go somewhere else next time. But the they knows this, so they try to give you good service, so you'll come back again. In a communist society, if the service sucks, it's too bad for you, you're a stupid commie. In a committed relationship, if the service sucks, you can go somewhere else relatively easily. In a marriage... somewhere, the service sucks and you're stuck with it, or a service is cut off, and you can't do anything about it. In a capitalist world, competition for basic services exists, if you don't like the way it's done, someone else can do it the way you want it. Communists are stuck with what they got unless they throw a revolution or a coup. The same goes for married folks. Competition keeps things running nice and smooth. I know some people will say "No way!" to this idea, but it happens. The attitudes change and that sense of security corrupts, then the service sucks, and you're stuck with it.
2006-12-02 15:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is what Satan would like you to believe. But you are right, more and more people seem to be unhappy, but it's not because they are married. When you get married, the work is not over. You don't stop and say, OK, I've done my duty. That is when the work begins. You must keep the fires burning. It's a two way street. You also need to have a plan and be going in the same direction. Too many people get married because they are "in love" and don't look past their noses. There is more to a marriage than love. You can love just about anybody, but what happens after the infactuation ends...then you are stuck with the person they are...what do you have in common? Do you believe the same things? What about kids? The list goes on and on...probably more info than you wanted to know.
2006-12-02 22:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by Becky F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find your question very interesting. I believe that the people you have been associated with are unhappily married - these people should get divorced or get their butts into a counselor and fix what is broken.
I have been married for 46 years to my very best friend. We have 5 children and 12 grandchildren. I can not ever conceive of being with another person - and never once had any temptation to be with anyone but my husband.
We have so much fun together, he is my rock, he is my life. We were married when I was 19 and he was 21. We enjoy each other's company and now that we're retired we get to spend even more time together. God has truly blessed us.
Didn't we have any problems? Of course we did. That's what marriage is all about - working out your problems, having fun together, knowing that this person loves you more than any one, anyone in the entire world.
When we think back on our lives over the past 46 years, we have one wish - we wish we could rewind the tape and do it all over again - exactly the same way.
No, not all married people are unhappy in their marriages. We are a couple who loves, enjoys and cherishes their spouse.
Marriage enhances a person's happiness and fulfillment!
2006-12-02 22:57:31 · answer #3 · answered by LABL 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
monogamy.......... Not always. It's SURE a part of it, BUT, I wouldn't say it's a long term solution to living life!
The thing is, so many problems can surface in a marriage. It's up to each person how they want to lead their lives in it, you know, dealing with problems whether the husband/wife wants to work things out or walk away.
yeh, I agree about many married people living it unhappy, yet they don't Divorce............... maybe it's "hanging in there", or could be other factors holding the decision back about breaking up or not.
It;s good you ask so you can get a variety of answers from the other people on here.
You asked a good question, 'cause I can say in my situation, I haven't Divorced yet because many things hold me back. Again, it's an individual answer.
I tend to let "D" stop me 'cause I want to spare my Son the pain. His Dad and I get along, but, that's it!
Besides, I'm at the age where I can live this way still LIKING my Husband without our life being a "Fairy Tale" type marriage, for those don't exist anyway, BUT, I feel like we're good friends and this can be ok.
ANyway, thanks about asking for comments...........
I enjoyed saying my opinion.
write anytime!
2006-12-02 22:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...yes, I know too many couples in loveless marriages. I know of a man who is married for 7 years and aches everyday of his life. He wishes to have someone like me, yet I refuse to get involved. Monogamy is a long term solution to living a happy life, ONLY when 2 committed people are willing to make it happen and keep the marriage flames alive together! Although I never married (and not rushing it either...) I still believe in marriage, regardless of the divorce rate. Keep Love Alive!
2006-12-02 22:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by motherkc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with your comment because not all married people live unhappy lives on a day-to-day basis, and most of all a person must be content with themselves before committing to another individual. If two people can be honest in what they want alone, and from each other marriage is a beautiful union that cannot be seconded.
2006-12-02 22:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by R A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a very open relationship with my companion for over twenty years, when we finally married we found a great deal of comfort in each other. I think the times I spent in the arms of others inspired my and I wouldn't do anything differently, but I'm sure there is joy in monogamy for many people, especially women. in my experience husbands usually are more receptive to the idea of an open relationship than their wives.
2006-12-03 12:08:54 · answer #7 · answered by wanda gag 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it all depends on who your married to. I've heard of people changing after marriage but being committed to just one person doesn't mean your happiness/fulfilment is limited. Never compare your relationship with others 'cause not everyone's situation is the same - nor are we as individuals. Your wife is one-of-a-kind; otherwise, you wouldn't have married her. There is such thing as being happy and being fulfilled by and with just one person. You should sit down with her and talk with her - together - and discuss all the possibilities of the many things you two could to together as a couple. Good luck.
2006-12-02 22:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by apache_lizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how you look at it. Some married people that seem to be miserable on a day to day basis could be unhappy about alot of things, not necessarily their marriage. People single or married get to a miserable point in their life.
2006-12-02 22:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by Barbara B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was glad to find this question. I myself, in marriage, find myself coming more UNhappy everyday. The reason, tired of being to only one to put any effort into the relationship. Been married a yr and a half. I know neither of us would never cheat, and that is good in a marriage, but thats not what keeps a good marriage going.
2006-12-02 23:14:00 · answer #10 · answered by S Hillard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋