My friend and I are both 15. She is pregnant by her 17 year old ex boyfriend. She doesn't want an abortion. The babys father doesn't want any part and doesn't believe my friend is pregant. Her parents already know about her being pregnant and are taking her to a clinic next week. Shes taking two tests and they both have came out positive. What should she do? Shes too young for a baby and the kids father wont help. My friend is scared and she wants the dad to have some say in the descion. Help!
2006-12-02 14:13:34 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Sorry I don't mean an abortion clinic. I mean a clinic to see if her baby is okay. They support her and think she should have the baby.
2006-12-02 14:26:26 · update #1
I'm not her mom. I'm her 15 year old friend. I didn't tell her to go have sex!
2006-12-02 14:29:37 · update #2
Well, unfortunately, he's not 18, because then it woul be statuatory rape, or however it's spelled, and he would be tried and deffinately charged to send her child support should she decide to keep the baby, which it seems she is. But ya know what, this may sound cold hearted and mean, but she's at fault for this. maybe it was an accident, maybe it wasn't, but she's fifteen, and she basically just threw her life into a whirlwind of drity dipers, working at McDonalds because she can't finish school, and a whole other load of crud.
2006-12-02 14:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tangy & Cherry 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At 15 it will be difficult for her to raise a child on her own. I"m betting her parents will be footing most of the bills...but the first thing she needs to do is to file for child support from the father of the child. When she has the child she needs to have the child's father's name on the birth certificate so that he will have to at least financially support the child until the child is an adult. Just because he is HER ex boyfriend doesn't mean he is the child's ex biological father and the CHILD deserves to be supported by BOTH parents financially. Some states WILL allow a bio father t not pay child support IF he signs away all parental rights to the child but other states (like California) won't. By signing away all rights the bio father has no chance at claiming that child as his own later in life. That means IF the child becomes very successful in life the bio father will share no part in the pride. There have been several celebraties who's bio dads have signed away their parental rights only to "come out of the woodwork" when the kid becomes famous, wanting the child to "share" the limelight with "good ole dad".
2006-12-02 22:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that she made the decision to have sex so now she needs to deal with this situation. Do her parents help her? if so she should keep the baby, once she has the baby she wouldnt want to give it up for the world. but if he did have to do something the best thing would be to give it up for adoption. Millions of people are out there wanting children but are unable to carry chidren or "have" children, and would love the baby just as their own.
I have a friend who got pregnant at the age of 16, her parents wanted her to get an abortion but she said and i quote " i decided to have sex and now i have decided to keep this baby, this is my thing" her ex boyfriend was the same way, and it is because boys and girls their age are not emotionally maure enough to have sex at that age. anyway on with the story so now her dad wouldnt have changed anything, she and her father love her little boy more than anything in the world. so all in all, If i were her, i would have the baby, and make a decision when she truly knows how it feels to be a mother. because then her life would be lived for that baby.
2006-12-03 01:36:14 · answer #3 · answered by ashley648403 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The ex has made his point. No use in dealing w/him. She should put the child up for adoption so that a loving family could take care of it. She will have her medical expenses covered and in some states (if she wants) she can set up an open adoption where she is able to choose the parents or have some contact with the child. She can also choose an agency and let them handle the whole thing as a closed adoption (sometimes better for the pregnant girl).
2006-12-02 22:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by snddupree 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You must be a great friend to her if you are willing to help her through such a scary and difficult time. Have your friend seriously consider adoption. It is a loving, responsible and unselfish way to benefit all who are involved. The birthmom (and dad too) get the benefit of not being sucked in to parenthood at an age where they feel too young and unprepared, they get to finish out school and prepare better for their future. Plus, the adoptive couple gets a beautiful sweet baby to love and raise, and the baby gets the benefit of a loving, stable home life with parents who are emotionally and financialy able to provide for the baby. There is a website she can go to to learn more about adoption. It's www.itsaboutlove.org. She can even look at profiles of adoptive couples and pick the adoptive couple she wants to give the baby to if she wants. If the baby's father isn't interested in being a parent, this should apeal to him too. Good luck to your friend.
2006-12-02 22:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by Steph 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the dad chooses to have nothing to do with her than she can do nothing until the child is born and ask him to take a paternity test. As to her parents forcing her to get an abortion it is illegal to do that in the USA so she has nothing to worry about. If she chooses to keep the child than she has to accept the fact that she is going to be taking care of the child by herself. Tell her to go to a shelter if she is afraid of losing her baby and make sure she is enrolled in parenting classes as she will need them not only for herself but for her unborn child. Also she needs to see if she can get hired at 15 since her parents do not seem to support her desire to raise and keep the child.
2006-12-02 22:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by baddrose268 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ur friend shouldn't have done that. Since, your friend is pregnant i guess your going to have to tell her mom which would be the best thing. Also if her parents aren't really a big help then ask your father to take her in. If that doesn't work, then the best thing to do is to find some relatives to help her out.
2006-12-02 22:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow- tough situation. can i just ask how she had a chance to get pregnant in the first place - shes 15. shouldnt her parents be around . obviously kids do things behind their parents back but shes not old enough to drive anywhere. i just think there is a lack of parental responsibility here. did you know in some states if you allow your child to have sex or even if you dont - you can be arrested for abuse
2006-12-02 22:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by kd baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a dna done to prove the baby is his. Then tell him to sign all his rights over. He won't have anything to do with the baby then. If you don't want it give it up for adoption.
2006-12-03 01:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by wetcat2009 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought that if one of the people was under 16, then it was illegal and the other person could get in a lot of trouble.
2006-12-02 22:46:49 · answer #10 · answered by Grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋