My son's 10 and his father took him every second week-end from the time he was 2 until last year. Now he turns off his phone and refuses to show up. He lies to our son about trying to call and stands him up regularly. I've always got along with him and have not argued about this with him however I have told him how much his son needs him and he says that he works hard and deserves to have his evening and weekends to himself. He says he knows its wrong but that it. I see how much this hurts my son and have no idea on how to help him.
2006-12-02 14:12:27 · 12 answers · asked by CHRISTINE S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes people need space. Some men need to get away emotionally and then return. He is probably under a lot of stress at work and needs to be alone to recoup and sort out his problems.
He may also be having another relationship problem (ie. the woman is complaining or making ultimatums for his exclusive attention, jealousy of him seeing you, etc).
Since he was taking initiative regularly and voluntarily in the past, then surely he will come back to that when circumstances are favorable (when job issues or mate issues abate). Don't panic!
Have your son write him emails so he can express himself and make some contact. Sometimes fathers go away for business, and this is just like that.
Dual household situations are tough to manage and sounds like he is overloaded. When families break apart everyone is hurt, husband, wife and kids. This is one of the costs of breaking up families that are sad but unavoidable at times. You can't have a divorce and keep your family and all their feelings in tact at all times. This looks like one of those times.
It will pass and now is a great opportunity to teach and practice patience with your son. We can't always have what we want when we want it. Good luck.
I hope this helps.
2006-12-02 14:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by TransformYour.World 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a CREEP!! Talk with your son and let him know it's not
his fault, he did nothing wrong to make his father not want to come around. That guy was a "sperm donor",..he's not a "real"
father. If I werre you I would cut off all communication, and tell ur
son not to get his hopes up about his dad, tell him the truth. That
he is being selfish, and irresponsible, and you don't want your son to keep feeling let down and hurt repeatedly. Make that SOB
earn the PRIVILAGE to see his own son. Make him sweat . And
meanwhile,..you and your boy, make a new life for yourselves.
Sounds like you'll both be happier without him. Move on darlin...
2006-12-02 14:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is a fool!!!. Why would you want to make that man be a father if he doesn't want to, if that's what he feels he wont be a good father to the child if you force him. Don't subject your son to being mis-treated. I had an ex that did the same thing, my daughter would sit out on the porch when he would say he was coming to see her and he wouldn't come or call to say he wasn't coming. When he did come and get her he would tell her that I wouldn't let him see her. She is 23 now and See's threw his lies and realizes that it was him all along. Don't let him hurt your child.
2006-12-02 14:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can only tell your ex the truth: This is hurting his son.
What he does with that information is totally up to him. In the meantime, try to keep your son busy on those weekends where dad doesn't show. I suggest you approach it like "Wow, this is a great surprise. Now we can go to the movies and out to dinner. I am really glad I have a chance to spend tonight with you."
I know it can be harder on you, but your son just needs to feel valued and loved, that will soften the crap your ex is pulling.
2006-12-02 14:41:52 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how sad. does he pay child support? i would continue to try to contact him and let him know what he is doing to your son. i would never do this in front of your son or let him hear you leave any messages on his phone. i have a son and he is 10 it is a critical age. i would reassure your son that it is not his fault and try to keep his mind occupied on other things. what a jerk! he will regret this you know. if you have a attorney ask him or her. call the attorney that did your divorce. i am sure that a judge would not look very highly at this. give your son lots of love and reassurance and maybe even let his teacher know what is going on. don't bad mouth your ex to your son it will only be getting down on his level. you never know what is going on with your ex. it sounds like he may have a new interest like a girlfriend. good luck.
2006-12-02 14:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force someone to be involved in a life they want no part of. Just tell your son that his father loves him but he is very busy. I think it would be best to just cut off contact with this ex so he doesn't have the chance to hurt your son any further.
2006-12-02 14:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is busy with someone, and simply refuses to give your son time, and no there isn't much u can do about it. just do things with your son, let him know u love him, don't bad mouth the dad it will not serve any purpose at all. he is just too busy with whoever, doesn't make it right, does hurt the child but it happens alot. happened to my daughter, she is now an adult, the result was that she now has nothing to do with him at all, and could care less. he also had a chance to connect with his grandchildren and it didn't happen there either so she has given up on her dad, and the reason is his present wife.
2006-12-02 14:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in case you may data which you spend the money you pronounced you probably did, they are going to take this under consideration. in the top however you're to blame for fifty% of the cost in looking after them, so if the court docket thinks which you're no longer doing all your area, then the will order help on you. they gained't stress you to get a activity, yet once you do no longer pay the ordered volume, you may finally end up in reformatory, loose your drivers license, quite plenty each thing which you hear ensue to ineffective beat dads will ensue to you besides. even however much less women human beings are ordered to pay help than adult males, a extra advantageous share of ladies human beings do no longer pay what they are ordered whilst in comparison with adult males by approximately 60% extra.
2016-10-17 15:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is so ... cold! poor lil' guy....just talk to your son , but nothing you can say will take his hurt away. the boy will grow up an have no respect for his father at all. no , there is no way you can force the fact. but that is a shame...wish there was a contempt of court for this! wish there was a violation of visitation on this matter!
2006-12-02 14:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your son doesn't need to be with a father that has to be forced to be with him..he'll figure this out on his own..love your son and let him grow up loved by you..it's enough..
2006-12-02 15:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by sugardaddysgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋