What makes people put down others and be overly confident?

Question

I find some of our family members more or less arogant. There's a constant put down of other people who "have no brains", dumb blondes, etc (I am naturally blonde by the way, gulp!). Most of them are quite high achievers. I have achieved too, but wouldnt make a fuss about it. Sometimes, I'm getting very tired of their behaviour, and does anyone have some advice how to best cope with them (eg xmas party) and also to understand why they are so loud about their greatness? Many thanks. Gini

Answer 1

I think they are really insecure. Thus they are trying to compensate for their inadequacies by putting others down. Show yourself to be the better person, and refrain from doing likewise. I come from a family of overachievers, they are truly confident in themselves, yet they are modest, and do not feel the need to put others down to feel superior. In the long run, no one wants to be around that type of personality, perhaps they will realize this someday.

Answer 2

the people that have that kind of behavior are really low in self esteem and putting others down makes them feel better about themselves and when they are overly confident is because they really are in doubt and need verification from everyone most likely if they dont get it from them it will become a joke at the persons expense for example they might say " whatever, relax dude I was just making a damn joke take it easy killer" that type of stuff

Answer 3

I think a lot of people put others down to keep from focusing on their own flaws. I just try to ignore them. If that doesn't work I'll come up with some rude remarks for them. They usually shut up when you do that.

Answer 4

Lack of self confidence. Keep in mind, that the person with the most brains is the one smart enough not to brag about. If you get challenged, and somebody smarter shows you up after your bragging, you'll look like an idiot. There is always someone smarter.

Answer 5

They really lack confidence and are shallow. It makes them feel better to put someone down because sadly enough that brings them up.

Answer 6

People that tend to put other people down are usually insecure. In order to make themselves feel better about their own drawbacks, they point out or even amplify other people's.

I would recommend that you ignore them, or even walk away in the middle of one of these putdowns, unless it truly gets on your nerves; then maybe you could say "Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself!"

GOOD LUCK! And remember this when it comes to family gatherings... "This too shall pass..." It helps me get through!

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Answer 7

Hi Gini

The reason why people are like that is because we are social animals and in order for us to protect our sanity and lot in life, we as humans feel that we need others to tell us that we are OK....When we don't get this from many people, we brag to first make ourselves feel good about ourselves, and secondly, we need those people to also tell us that we are OK

If we don't get the things mentioned above, we feel like we are not accomplishing what we want in life, which makes us feel useless to family, friends, and society....which in the worse case senario leads to......Death

Good luck on your quest fo answers.....Gini

Answer 8

I see you have received the usual; they have low self esteem/low self confidence answers. What knee-jerk BS! They did work on the concept of self-esteem and bullying at Case Western Reserve recently and I was not surprised at the results. Many, if not most, of these people have too high a self-esteem and really consider many to be their inferiors. They treat people that way also. I can not say this is the case with your family, but I do not have to keep reaching for the same old tired psychological concepts, the one that keep psychology from being considered a true science. The best coping strategy with people like this is ignoring them or laughing at them. They are rather impervious to reason, except from their point of view.

Answer 9

Ask them, is there a job category for being shock absorber for other people's insecurities, and how much would this pay per hour?