Use of the phrase "my condolences"?

Question

Is it okay to say "my condolences" to someone whose family member is ill or is it only proper to say when someone has passed away?

Answer 1

I would only say it at the funeral, after the death, When someone's in the hospital, I would try to use upbeat and happy phrases (keep up the positive energy).

Answer 2

I would only say it if someone has passed on. If their family member is ill, I would tell them that I am sorrythey are ill and I will keep them in my prayers.

Answer 3

"My condolences" is ONLY used for death. It would be seriously unnerving to get this message for an illness.

The appropriate phrase (or at least two that work well) would be:

"I am sorry to hear of Aunt Gertie's illness. I hope she will recover soon." (for a disease you can recover from)

"I am very sorry to hear of Aunt Gertie's illness. My thoughts are with her and your family." (Aunt Gertie is going to die.)

If you are a religious family, "my prayers" in "My thoughts and prayers" is also nice.

Answer 4

Use the phrase only when someone has passed away.

Answer 5

You should only say it when someone is already dead or has passed away.
Kinda offensive saying it to someone ill.

Answer 6

I think that it is only used in reference to someone that has passed away.

Answer 7

i beleive the word is only used for expressing your sorrow when someone has passed away. if you dont know what a word means either look it up or dont use it - you may be wrong about the meaning and make yourself look stupid

Answer 8

only say it when someone has passed away

Answer 9

"Condolences" is more for people who have died, not people who are sick. Got to these websites for more death etiquette:

http://www.emilypost.com/etiquette/special/q-a.htm

http://entertaining.about.com/cs/etiquette/a/funeraletiquett.htm

http://magazines.ivillage.com/goodhousekeeping/etiquette/note/pop/0,,284552_430855,00.html