married to a cold woman?

Question

i am married to the coldest woman on earth
been married for 25 yrs
she avoids sex at all cost
what can i do ?

Answer 1

find out why she is so cold toward you....

communication helps A LOT!!

Go from there....

Good Luck

Answer 2

All the other answers are very interesting, aren't they? I think this problem is very much a personal and private matter that other people can do little to help. But, I do think that it is very common...much more than where the woman wants more than the man is willing to put out.

So, here's my 2-cents worth: women (the majority?) tend to lose their libido over time, whereas men (most of us?) tend to have a working libido for a longer period of time than women do. However, eventually, all human beings lose their sex drive.

Here's another 2-cents: we live in a sex-obsessive society. The quality of life, love, marriage, family, etc., seems to be more and more judged by how much sexual intercourse we have.

So, at least from my perspective, my answer to "what can I do?" is, you could do a lot of things, but why bother? If you have a loving, faithful wife, and good home, good kids, a long life together, and you get along reasonably well, consider yourself lucky and do nothing. Stop whining about your lack of sex and please stop portraying your wife as the "coldest woman on earth."

Sure, you could go for marriage counseling and maybe the two of you could find out a possible solution. But, if all you are looking for is more sex, I don't think counseling will do much good.

Find other activities that you enjoy doing by yourself. Spend more time with family and friends. Dig up an old hobby or find a new one. Volunteer for a charitable cause and donate some of your time and knowledge to help someone else.

You don't have much life left. Don't waste it trying to change something that you have very little control over.

Answer 3

You characterized her as cold, and then complained about the lack of sex in your marriage.

Did it occur to you that she may be carrying a load of old resentments gathered from those 25 years together?

I have been married 25 years also, and I'm a woman. I have a very hot relationship with my hubby, but it wasn't always. Before we figured out how to communicate effectively, I had a lot of resentments and I didn't want sex with my husband even though I loved him, I was so mad about all the things that were wrong in our marriage.

Once we worked everything out and I felt he had changed to a husband who respected me and my needs, and he stopped doing behaviors that seemed designed to hurt me, (things I had asked him not to do and other things that I didn't know I had the right to ask him not to do) romance heated up in our relationship and with the romance came a lot of sex.

Are you really paying attention to the behaviors that would make her feel you love her? Don't assume you know how to make her feel loved and cared for. You have to have honest real intimate conversations with her.

How much time do you spend alone with her each week? How often do you help her around the house without being asked? How often do you compliment her on her intelligence, beauty, and remind her that you still love her? When was the last time you brought her a card or a gift that was not for a special occasion? Do you forget special occasions? Does she like to get flowers, and do you know her favorite flowers to receive?

Answer 4

*25* YEARS and you haven't figured out yet she is never going to change?


Was she that way before you married her, or did she do the old "I've got the ring on my hand, there's the 5 fingers on your hand" switcheroo?

If she was that way before you married, then you're a chump for hanging around so long. If she changed, you're a chump for hanging around so long. I'm sorry but no one deserves to get off the hook for a quarter of a century. Women think sexual incompatibility and not having sex regularly is no big deal. It's a *huge* deal. Denying your marriage partner sex can be legal grounds for divorce.

Either way, if she can't sit down and in 90 seconds tell you why she is that way and why she intends to never change, then at least save yourself another 90 seconds, divorce her and find someone with your sex drive so you can live the second half of your life in happiness. I'd day "f*ck her" but the problem is you can't.

Good luck, and I mean that.

Answer 5

you must be married to my wife....

she is the COLDEST person on earth.....

I truely believe that women have limits on their private parts....after they reach the number their bodies shut down completely.


what kills me is, every woman talks like they dont have a clue whats going on or what your talking about

or they say "Did you talk to her about it?"....DUHHHHHHHHH like your going to go without sex and NOT say anything???

PEOPLE YOU CAN TAKE IT FOR GRANTED THAT IT HAS BEEN TALKED ABOUT

Bro....and all the other married men out their, I feel for ya....life is hell being married to a non-functioning woman.

Here is some real advice: It's going to be hard, esp at first....dont bother her about sex, none what so ever, dont kiss her, dont touch her make no sexual come ons what so ever, it may take a month or two, but she will want to do it...this is the most important part...when she does, turn her down....make her wait, put the shoe on the other foot...and when she does start to warm up, stay cold towards her, keep busy and stay disinterested in her or sex with her.

Good Luck

Answer 6

I can tell by the question that you are confused on a few topics pertinent to this. Let me help you clarify them.

1.) Be a man. Strive to be a man's man.

2.) Being a man you are naturally the boss. This is YOUR world dog, she just happens to be in it.

3.) IF you find a woman to be unacceptable, then it is up to you to dismiss her from your home and life.

4.) YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. If you do, then get some counseling and re-read points 1-3

Answer 7

You obviously love her due to the fact that you have been together for 25 years. If it is sex you want then tell her your feelings. Explain how you feel. If she continues to avoid you and you can no longer handle it. Then talk to her about divorce. I am sorta like that but my husband understands. If I thought that I was not "into him" anymore, I would let him go. No sense depriving him for no other reason other than my own selfishness. Good luck.

Answer 8

Talk to her find out why she is like this. Ask questions maybe she has something on her mind that she needs to talk to you about. And what ever you do don't listen to ROY. Cause if you start talking about being the BOSS it will only get worse. Take care. Good Luck.. God Bless.

AND as for ROY'S answer. Get a life man. There is no such thing as THE BOSS in a marriage it is a equil relationship. ROY YOU ARE JUST A PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO TREAT A WOMEN!!!!!!!!! I BET YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WOMEN!!!! SO GET A LIFE YOU A**WHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

was she like this before u got married? if she was then its ur own damn fault...when a woman doesnt like sex there is nothing u can do to make her like it even more no matter how hard u try... 25 yrs is a long time to be married to someone u say is cold.

Answer 10

your characterization of your wife as 'the coldest woman on earth' is a little clue to what could be the source of your problems. Are you verbally abusive? that's a turn-off for anyone...

if this posting is at all representative of your normal behavior, stop torturing her and grant her a divorce. you'll get your sexual freedom back, and she'll get freedom from you.

Answer 11

What can u do but ask her direct why she doesn't want to make love. But first try to put candles in a room. Then cook her favorite dinner with a nice bottle of wine.Then make sure the bedroom is lite up with candles.Ask her to come with u because u would like to show her what comes after dinner.If she still doesn't respond then email me.hahahahaha Hey guys I'm older and I still love to make love so don't put a age on it