Hi, i had a d&c almost 2 weeks ago, when me and my partner first found out that i miscarried he said that he was willing to try again..now he is saying that he is not ready for a baby...i really want to try again..why would he say he would like to try for another baby (give me hope) then change his mind...
2006-12-02 12:29:52 · 14 answers · asked by Amy M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I think that this has to be something you both want to do. If hes not ready than thats that. He could have sat down and thought about the finacial responsibility and then half his days and night would be taken by a baby. If you want to try that bad and hes not ready....... Maybe hes not ready to settle and you need to move on!
2006-12-02 12:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by kristina N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a miscarriage is very traumatic for both of you. My husband and I have lost two babies. Although we will try to get pregnant again, it has been difficult for my husband for two reasons:
1. I was so devestated by both miscarriages, he worries if he will be string enough to support me if we were to lose another baby.
2. He saw how hurt, both physically and emotionally, I was after both miscarriages and doesn't want to put me in that situation again.
Give your partner some time. You also may need a little longer to heal too. The miscarriage association can probably give you more advice.
2006-12-03 18:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by MrsC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my 3rd miscarriage a month ago today. Two of my miscarriages have been with my current partner. When i had the second miscarriage i so wanted to try again my partner knew how i felt but he was still honest and told me although he was devastated for me he was releived himself because he didnt feel ready. It hurt so badly but i couldnt help but still love him and we mosyed on. 15 months later I fell pregnant again i was over the moon and my partner came around to the idea. Then i miscarried again we were both left so devastated but one thing that came out of it is now we both feel we are ready to try again and you know what it feels good to know that we both want the same thing. Its took so long for him to talk about wanting a child with me. When talking its come out that he always has wanted a child with me but didnt want me to feel pressurised if i couldnt conceive or carry as i also have other conditions that make it difficult for me to conceive. But now we are both ready and i am glad he has been honest with me at the time it hurt so much to hear him say he wasnt ready but now i am beginning to understand that we both have the right to express our true feelings. In the long term it has made us a stronger couple. I would hold on there the time will come when he is ready i promise. x
2006-12-03 00:10:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've heard the saying "it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind?" Well, the same goes for men. He may have thought he was ready for a child, but upon further thought realized that he truly isn't. You both need to keep in mind what's best for yourselves and for the future child, and if now is not the time to have a baby, don't press the issue. Just enjoy your time together and it will happen when the time is right. Be thankful that you have this time to sort out your life and prepare for a baby.
2006-12-02 13:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it may be possible that the miscarriage scaried him. I just had a miscarriage (my 2nd one) and I had a d&c the day before Thanksgiving and my husband and I want to try again but we both have a fear that it will happen again. He doesn't want to see me go through that again. Maybe he's feeling the same way. If you feel like you can talk to him about it I think that you should talk to him and see what's going on. I hope that everything works out for you.
2006-12-02 12:35:23 · answer #5 · answered by angelamc31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be scared that the same thing will happen again, so he doesn't want to be hurt like that again so soon. Give it a month or so, and in the meantime make sure you are doing everything you can (like taking prenatal vitamins, not drinking/smoking) that you can to help make sure your next pregnancy is a healthy one. Make an apointment with your doctor to discuss your health, and what else you can do. Here's a link for sort of a preconception checklist. http://www.webmd.com/content/article/51/40809.htm. If you are going into another pregnancy in a more prepared way, he may be more likely to be ready to try.
2006-12-02 12:38:37 · answer #6 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i could not wait for baby and i have one half year old i love him when i got preg month ago and lost i was devasted and now i dont want one cause not ready is fear of loss oer been let dowm been a parent is about not been selfish and doind and understand your child no matter what if you cant understand why your parthner feels like this maybe you should consider if the time is right
2006-12-03 09:37:10 · answer #7 · answered by buzz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he just said he would like to try the first time to see you more hopefull. Actually, your partner is not so sure about it but, if you are still willing, well, it gets complicated, doesn't it?
2006-12-02 20:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by ladysorrow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only he can answer that... but I could speculate that he is afraid of the pain again that the two of you will go through if you have another miscarriage, which is highly unlikely.
I am sooooo sorry about your loss. :-(
2006-12-03 03:35:02 · answer #9 · answered by NoWayOut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is afraid right now. He don't want to take the chance of hurting you after your miscarriage. May want to ask him if he wants to wait until you heal.
2006-12-02 12:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by curlielox2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋