How do I say this?

Question

I need to confess to my partner that I had a rather nasty thought this morning with regards to once we have kids,
I am a person that is high with dicipline and enforces it but I had this thought that I yelled at our kid upon it going "dad" all the time and not asking something, thats not the thing though, in this thought I went right off and didn't come home for 24 hours, thing is I want to be a dad real bad and Laura knows how to calm me down again but I am just confused as to how to tell her my thoughts of this morning....Ideas?

thanks all,
Mitch

dont be stupid please, this scared me and makes me think that I would be an evil, bad parent and using too much dicipline

of course we really love eachother, we're both in for the LONG HAUL and thats final, we have both found our soulmates.......we both know that, I can tell her anything she knows if somethings wrong and she'll ask me but its just hard for me to say that something IS actually wrong.

Answer 1

What I recommend is that you talk to a therapist or a close friend who is already a Dad about your concerns. The worst thing you can do is tell your partner that you thought about just leaving the kids with her (essentially abandoning your family) for more than a day because they irritated you. I can tell you from a mom's point of view, that once a man confesses anything like this, the mom or future mom will always remember it and will be a bit unsure if you should be totally trusted to care for the children. What ever you do, do not tell her something like this, unless you want her to be afraid to ever leave your future children alone with you or afraid that you may leave her and the kids when they need you the most. All future dads have insecurities and negative thoughts about child rearing, but it is very unwise to confide these insecurities to the future mother. Get help and advise from someone who is unlikely to hold your fears and unpleasant thoughts against you in the future.

You may also want to consider your thoughts as a warning of potential negative behaviors you may want to work on BEFORE becoming a parent.

Answer 2

sounds like you're not ready to be a dad. I'm not sure what you mean by "...upon it going "dad" all the time and not asking something," (that really doesn't make sense to me). Any rate, you're contradicting yourself when you say, "...I went right off and didn't come home for 24 hours..." and in the same breath, you said "...I want to be a dad real bad..." Pray about this, it doesn't sound like you're ready for fatherhood right now, especially when you say, "...Laura knows how to calm me down." If she knows how to "calm you down" than why would you have to leave 24 hours? to play? to contemplate? Why are you running when you should be facing the reality of your situation? Parenthood is no joke, if you're not ready, don't do it. A child deserves to be born with 2 responsible parents who are mentally, physically, financially and emotionally ready to raise a child together. Give it some time.

Answer 3

Just tell her if she really loves you ( i bet she does but i'm just saying) she wouldnt get that angery with you just tell her your thoughts and hope for the best

Answer 4

I'm leaving on a jet plane , don't know when i'll be back again !!!

Answer 5

very odd
Don't have kids