Why does it make me so mad when people tell me that if I think happy, I'll be happy.?

Answer 1

I feel the same way. Don't know why, but I usually this overwhelming urge to strangle those people.

Answer 2

It's an over-simplification.

One cannot always be happy. To be happy all the time leaves no reffrence point from saddness or anger. Happy becomes 'Blah' and then what's left?

The honest answer is that whatever is bothering you you can either do something about or you cannot. If you can, you should sink the energy you invested in your anger in doing something about it (prefferably something proactive, negative actions lead to negative feelings). If you cannot, there is no point in thinking about it and you might as well accept it and make the best of it.

It's okay to be angry, though. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Answer 3

Maybe because they are offering you an oversimplified answer to a complicated dilemma and it frustrates you that "simply changing what you think" 1) isn't simple and 2) doesn't guarantee a change in mood because your habits of interpreting the world may tend to disallow "happy thoughts" to dominate for very long.

According to Aristotle happiness is the supreme good because it is the only good we strive for in and of itself. People gain happiness by living excellently (most people use the word virtue instead of excellence, but virtue carries too much monotheistic baggage for me). Excellence (virtue) exists between two base states: one of excess and one of deficiency. Choosing excellence is choosing the correct response that is neither excessive nor deficient. The more you choose excellence, the better you get at choosing excellence. Aristotle refers to this as "practical wisdom" or phronesis.

Excellence then is both thought and action that shapes character.

The key is that you live excellence; you embody it in your thinking and actions. Therefore you live happiness. This is very different from our society, which focuses on achieving happiness as a near perpetual end state obtained after some event or series of events. How often do you hear someone say: "Once I get X, I'll be happy"? One form of this thinking is our maniacal quest to obtain more and more money to buy more and more consumer goods.

Where it gets tricky is that Aristotle's way is one you should be habituated into from childhood. Those of us living in this time and place are not habituated into this orientation. Rather we are habituated simultaneously into an ethic of consumerism and a rather tyrannical absolutism that demands we define character as behaving in the same manner, at all times, under all conditions. Failing to meet this impossible standard, we are reprimanded by the cultural superego for being a hypocrite.

I’m generalizing and it is actually much more complex, but suffice to say that our culture (make that all cultures) teaches us how to interpret the world, how to think about those interpretations, and what is an appropriate response to those interpretations. This has been happening to all of us since birth.

Thus, when someone tells you to “just change you thinking” they are only partly correct. The key word is “just,” because it "just" isn't that simple for most of us. But further, the goal of changing your thinking is to offer yourself new interpretations of the world that discloses itself to you so you can respond differently to that world.

Answer 4

Because it's a facile comment to make and in general if you are in a bad mood being told to be happy is about the last thing you want to hear. I tend to find that the sort of person who says that is generally someone who can't be bothered to actually spend any time listening to why you might be upset in the first place. Which is probably what you actually need.

Answer 5

. Because it is obvious that they know nothing about chronic unhappiness. The advice they give you is as applicable to your life as the advice Glenda gave Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz is in your life. You are looking for meaningful advice and they give you glib drivel.
. I am happy. I was not always happy. I suffer chronic depression. Escitalopram Oxalate has changed my life. I do not know if that is your solution, but a good doctor might find one which works for you.

Answer 6

Because you don't want dumped back in your lap. Something else had to cause it. It definitely was not your fault. After all, anything in the the world can reach in and make you unhappy. You have absolutely no control over what you think and feel. It is everybody else's fault that you're unhappy.

Answer 7

Because they make it sound so easy. It's so hard to get yourself out of that funk you buried yourself in. When people tell you to just "think happy", you think there should be something more because the sadness and depression cuts so deep.

Answer 8

Because it's very annoying. I love it when they get mad at something.... i say if you think happy, you'll be happy

Answer 9

At one time in my life.the happier those around me got the more unhappy I got. I discovered I had low self esteem due to a very negative outlook.A friend told me to remember the happest time in my life,then he said "stay there". Happy or angry is just a mood and it is up to you to choose your moods by choosing your thoughts,you circumstances in life are the result of your actions in thought,word and deed. also your destiny.

Answer 10

Because they're right, and you're in denial.

Which would make me sad, but I'm happy anyway :)