my boyfriends ex wont allow him to see his daughter?

Question

he was accused of assault against his daughter but was proved not guilty this was over a year ago and he has been fighting through the courts all this time and his ex still will not allow him to have contact with his daughter and he has tried and done everything she has asked of him but he can not think of anything else that he can do he is at his wits end is there anything he can do ?

Answer 1

She is what in the UK would be called a reluctant mother is his ex partner. As the law stands it is possible for an ex to stop a man seeing his children as once they divorce, the man loses all right to his children. That is a farce but the goverment refuse to do anything about it. I went through a similar thing and have not seen my children for almost five years. I was given the right to their school records and to write to them once a month. I have no idea if they read the letters and the solicitors say the law only allows me to write and not to question whether the letters are received by them or not. At one stage we were told reluctant mothers would lose residency of their children for not allowing access to their ex partners but nothing ever happened. The Judges are weak and do not want to upset the women yet they openl;y make decisions against men every day. The Judiciary should be scrapped in the UK as all Judges are upper class and from priveleged families and there are no working class judges who may deal with these situations in a fairer way.

Tell him to be patient and yes I know it is the worst experience I have ever had in may life. The only folk who treat us as adults are the Child Support agency who are constantly chasing us for money.

I have had women tell me to stop the child support but they get very nasty, abusive and threatening to you if you do not pay. Hopefully in time his daughter will come back to him but it will be a long process as I have found to my cost. £16,500 in legal fees and all I got was the right to write one letter a month. That is totally farcical.

I really do wish your boyfriend well.

Answer 2

Gee am I experienced with this one. Firstly, it's great you are supporting your bf, but don't get anymore involved than just supporting him. It WILL make things worse.
He can spend millions on legal fees and in what seems like no time, the kid is old enough to make their own decision and he won't have much money left to do anything with.
If he backs off, but continues to send the kid letters letting her know that he loves her and wants to spend time with her, one day it will happen.
Everyone tries to interfere, which makes things worse. It also doesn't help that he had an assault accusation against him. This will stick for a while.
Anyway, enough raving on. In short, you just support him by listening, but dont get involved. It will sort itself out, one way or another.

Answer 3

If he has been fighting through the courts already, then he needs to get a better solicitor and step up his game. My friend lost custody of her kids but when she changed her legal representation, she won them back. Has he spoken to Social Services and asked for their help? The court should have appointed someone from their welfare dept to visit both him and the mother - maybe they could help? Or he could volunteer to have supervised visits with his daughter in a contact centre - not nice but at least he would see her. I really feel for him, it's an awful situation to be in. Do get him to at least talk to another firm of solicitors incase the present ones are holding him back. Good luck to you both and don't give up x x

Answer 4

Since his ex is probably the one who filed the charges against him, she probably knows something we dont and still feels hes an endangerment to her and since she has legal custody of her its up to her to let him see her or not. He can petition the court for at least supervised visitation but I sense that there is more to this than meets the eye. He may just have to accept the fact that his ex wont let him see her and just be patient til she gets older for now. Good luck

Answer 5

if he has been through the courts then there is nothing he can do unfortunelty. its so unfair to men, the rights should be changed. his ex is a cow for depriving her daughter of time with her dad. i am a social work assistant so i feel so strong about this stuff. he has to go to his lawyer and keep pursuing it, but unfortunetly, men dont have alot of rights in this case. its not fair.

Answer 6

has he taken her to court? is there a court order for visitation? if there is and she wont let him see her then he needs to take her back to court. keep records of all the times he has asked to see her or all the times they made plans and she canceled. she would be in violation of the court order, and the judge could give him custody if she is refusing to let him see her.if there is no court order then he needs to get her into court and get one.

Answer 7

take it up with a judge or law enforcement.. i hate to say it but you also should just maybe leave it alone for awhile and hope his ex cools off and decides to let him see his daughter.

or you can tell him to ask if he can see her at a public place with her along. that way his ex might feel more comfortable with letting him see her


hope everything works out for your bf

Answer 8

It's important that he keeps calm and doesn't break the law. Could he negotiate with a member of his ex's family ?

Answer 9

The courts should sort it out

Answer 10

tell him to send her a certified letter warning of his intent to sue her in court for slander (defimation of charcter) and contempt of the court order on the visitation issue. make the letter "cc: (family court judge's name)" and send a copy to the family court judge.