Weird question I know. I do not want my mom at my baby's birth before or after. For several reasons, she makes my fiance uncomfortable, she might smoke weed and we don't want that around our baby, and because of the way she was with my niece's birth (thinking that my sister's mother in law was trying to steal the show)...after my niece was born the resident doc. came out to walk to the other end of the ward and passed the waiting area and just nicely informed us that my niece had been born...no one sent her out to tell us...but my mom was like "well if they are just going to send a fuc**n' nurse out to tell me then why am I here...all acting like she is 5...so she goes to leave and as soon as the elevator door shut my brother in law came out to get us..and before my sister was in labor she had been saying her whole pregnancy the only people she wants is her husband in the room...my mom couldn't handle that and flipped out and was all like "well how the hell am I supposed to bond with..
2006-12-02 10:31:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
...with that baby" it's like um ok....who's baby is it exactly...so...I want to avoid the whole drama of my mom thinking my fiance's mother is trying to steal the show by not even informing her of my baby's birth until a few days after..and also my mom has a new husband that i do not want anywhere near my baby...But, I am wondering how I can get through this without my mom finding out I am at the hospital (bc she will come up there)..I want my fiance's parents there, as well as my grandma, my sister (maybe my niece- she's only 1 yr old), and our 5 yr old son...
2006-12-02 10:34:27 · update #1
Oh ya something else I should add about my mom...I had my son at 16...so my mom thought that she was in charge of every thing that went on...she invited who she wanted there...and not who I wanted..I ended up with 9 people in the room...not to the waiting room to the side...in the room...it was a very uncomfortable experience..I only got to hold my son for a few minutes...before my mom butted in and was hogging him...I never really got to bond with my son when he was born...that's why with this baby it is my way or the highway...and no one can pull that crap on me about..."she's your mom, she deserves to be there" ya my mom doesn't deserve **** but a swift kick in the ***...from about age 12...my mom was gone every weekend or more ...or engaged to this guy or that guy....so my grandma raised my sister and I...She is the one that deserves to be there...I guess my mom just doesn't get that a birth is a private thing and not a public show...
2006-12-02 10:39:03 · update #2
Luckily I do have a good support system...coming to the hospital....I know none of them will call her...And, I know is she askes they will say that no one called them either..
2006-12-02 10:42:12 · update #3
Great thing about cell phones...everyone we want present during the birth has a cell phone...if being admitted as anonymus is an option...I think it is one option we will take.
2006-12-02 10:45:18 · update #4
This is for Micky Poo...lol yes my mom knows I am pregnant...and my fiance and I was going to get married on 08/12/2006...but we had a change of plans (the baby)..and decided to wait a little longer...so we had some more money to support 2 kids as well as being married...which he's gotten almost 2 promotions at work since then...so as far as I know we are looking at a Fall 2007 wedding.
2006-12-02 11:04:45 · update #5
w/ hippa in act noone @ the hospital can tell someone you are even there w/o you saying it is ok. Make sure everyone you do tell is in accordance w/ you not wanting her there. @ the hospital I work @ you have to sign a waiver to be put in the "directory" so that if someone calls they can be transfered to your rpoom, or even told you are there. Otherwise you can be a blackout. When my aunt was in the hospital, we had to have a special code to even find out if she was there let alone talk to her. So you can set up something like that as well. Be sure to let the hospital know how you feel. Most hospitals in bigger cities now have security guards, so if needed they can remove her. or you could just get a restraining order
2006-12-02 10:37:21 · answer #1 · answered by tera_duke 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer from tera_duke is excellent!! When you go into labor, do not tell anyone. Just go to the hospital with your fiance. Sure do wish you'd get married, by the way, because that would give your fiance more say in what goes on. Does your mother know you're pregnant? If you tell anyone anything, make sure you can trust the person to not tell your mother. It would be nice if the two of you could move fairly far away and live a normal life. Good luck to all of you and congratulations on the new baby to be!!
2006-12-02 18:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your family to refrain from telling your mother, until after the baby is born. Then when you are ready for her to meet the new baby, invite her over. Don't tell her the baby is here, just have her come over. It will be a nice suprise for her, while you still having the privacy that you desire. If she does find out and comes to the hospital, have a family member tell her that you requested her to stay outside, so you and your fiance can have those first few intimate moments with the new baby. If she can't comply, then she can just simply leave. You're giving birth, you're the boss! Congrats and good luck!! :)
2006-12-02 18:46:38 · answer #3 · answered by Annieo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like the other people said, just start calling people to come in until you're ready. If she does find out from someone, you can be sure to let the nurses know that she is not allowed in the room. You have the choice as to who is and isn't allowed in the room at anytime. Also, most hospitals ask if you want to be in the admitted list for when callers ask if you're in there, you can refuse to be on that list too, that way she can't even call and ask if you're in there.
2006-12-02 18:42:40 · answer #4 · answered by Moody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow! I know that must be tuff for you. well Simply keep it between you and whoever is coming with you to the hospital. Do not call any one else and after the baby is born and home than call her, good luck and Congratulations!
2006-12-02 18:37:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she DOES find out about the hospital, make sure that your attending hospital staff know who she is/what she looks like, and if you ask them, I am pretty sure they will keep her from seeing you or your baby. If possible, go to a hospital a bit further away, so she won't know where you are. Hope everthing goes all right!
Please tell us how it goes!
2006-12-02 19:17:02 · answer #6 · answered by Janey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure you don't want your mom their for her grandchild's birth make sure you tell everyone not to tell her. Or be honest and tell her the reason's why you are not comfortable with her being there. and good for you p.s. congratulations on having your baby
2006-12-02 18:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by Cathrine L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call people when you are ready for them to start showing up...you can leave some out until the "show" is over and things are settled.
2006-12-02 18:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by facs2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont tell anyone you are giving birth. Let people know AFTER you get home with the baby.
2006-12-02 18:34:08 · answer #9 · answered by Virginia S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure you don't want your mom their for her grandchild's birth make sure you tell everyone not to tell her. Or be honest and tell her the reason's why you are not comfortable with her being there.
2006-12-02 18:36:15 · answer #10 · answered by faith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋