Does the character of a man actually matter to a woman?

Question

I'm looking for serious answers here. Nothing along the lines of "duh" or "of course".

I'm just wondering, because I haven't been able to find a woman who thinks that it's important for a man to live his life with integrity. Most women that I know think that it's great when a man is unfaithful, lazy, bullying, and dishonest in general. They view him as being a "bad boy" who has "edge" and is a "challenge".

On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and would be a devoted husband and father, is seen as "boring" and "too nice".

Why is this? Do these women have low self-esteem and think that they don't deserve better . . . or, do men of integrity have to start being losers in order for women to appreciate them?

I look forward to your intelligent and well-thought-out answers.

Answer 1

You kind of answered your own question but real women don't feel that way. Younger women with low self esteem might feel that way. A mature woman who is confident with herself will want the same in a man.

Answer 2

Hey Mike!

Eventhough it may seem that ALL women fall for the wrong guys, it really does not represent the whole female population. Sure there are women who enjoy getting screwed over, but there are still MANY women who would like a good man. Many of those women you talk about dont know what they want, and therefore, are not worth pursuing. Women want to feel loved and cared for, and somethimes, they find that in the wrong places.
If you are everything you say you are, then I'm sure MANY women would be happy to be with you. Just try this: Try coming up to random women you wouldnt normal talk to that seem nice, and say 'Hi'. A hi can go along way. And remember, compliments never killed anybody :)
Not ALL women are the same, as not ALL men are the same. Be a little more open minded, and women would do the same. Remember to never give up because SHE is out there as you are looking for her. Take care!

Best of Wishes!

Peace

Answer 3

In the long run it does.
The way I see it, even when a woman is out looking for a possible date, she should consider what is important to her. His good character, would give her the assurance that he would value her, and wont cheat on her, he would respect himself and her as well. They would have a meaningfull relationship, they would spend quality time with each other. and yeah it might seem bizarre to read what I am about to say next, but her future kids with this man would have the same characteristics that their father posses, and the kinda family they would have the values......it does to me....and I hope to other women too....

Sadly enough I know some really stupid women who have it all and are willing to throw it away for a bad boy...they have it made but they are sooo stupid. for the present situations sucks, but the way they are headed their future would be pretty pathetic cause they chose the wrong man....hang in their you will find you equal somewhere out there....i hope.

Answer 4

Dear Mike,

That is truly unfortunate that you have dealt with such issues when dating women. I think many woman struggle with dating the "too nice" guy. I was guilty of that myself until two years ago. I a now married to a "nice guy" who is just wonderful. However, you have to keep faith and keep trying to find the right woman for yourself. There are good women who are interested in a nice guy and character does matter. Continue to believe in the courage of your convictions and believe that you are worth it. Sure, there are women that have those issues but there are men that do also. If you think of a sales person they knock on many doors to sell their products. The sales men that do well are those that believe in their products and believe in what they have to offer.

However, I do believe that whatever gender you are man..woman...you do have to take responsibility for understanding why you are attracting a certain type of man or woman. We do put out attractors and we attract those that are the same until we realize what we pattern we are repeating. Think about your background and the models you have in your life. Maybe their are similarities? Maybe not. I would recommend going to see a relationship counselor, specifically a man who is married and has what you want. I believe if you want a healthy relationship you have to learn from someone who has it. I wouldn't go to a marriage counselor who is divorced. Choose someone that may help you to understand why you attract and choose to date those that are not open to you.

Hope this helps. I have been there. You can work through this.

God bless.

Answer 5

I think some women want to date bad boys because they think they're adventurous. The ones staying with dishonest guys might be overlooking this flaw in their personalities so that they can still be considered "cool" and be the envy of their friends. In these cases, they have so little self-esteem that they allow themselves to be judged for who they can "get." They're not looking very far into the future. If these women are delusional enough to stay with a person who will cheat on them and lie, maybe that's what they need until they wise up.

Answer 6

Character isn't the first thing we notice so you have to have something going to attract a woman.

Character is what makes us stay with a man. The characteristics you mention are fine but you are leaving out a very important one that women need. The men described as "boring" and "too nice" may be the ones that aren't aggressive enough sexually.

We don't want to be mauled in public or anything but having to move a hand or say "slow down" is flattering. We want to know that we are wanted and that if we chose a man for our mate, he will be exciting, aggressive, and considerate in bed.

Answer 7

I think it goes back to the whole "survival of the fittest". Subconsciously, we see a guy who is tough and gruff...and we interpret that as....he could take care of me.....provide for me and so on. The truth of the matter is that women who have dealt with these kind of guys come to terms with the fact (eventually) that WE DON"T LIVE IN THE STONE AGES ANYMORE> I am even guilty of going out with the "tough"guys often enough. But when you break it all down...it was never worth it. I ended up being with a wonderful guy who loves me, is considerate, puts me first and he's not a pushover. He does have a "bad boy" look(tattoos)...but that is all that it is. When I first met him, I thought that he was some guy who was out to "piss" all over his territory. Little did I know that this wasn't true.Before me...he was always the "nice"guy...he was always the "best" friend and never the "boy" friend. He always said that it seemed like he wasn't enough of a jerk too get the girls he was interested in..he always ended up being their friend...because he was "so nice" or "too close" of a friend. He has found his balance now. He is still one of the nicest men I know, kind and considerate,gentle and warm...and best of all funny. He just understands now that of he believes in something....he stands for it. The other thing he says since we got married (5 yrs ago) Nice guys don't finish last..they finish with the best.
I can't wait to see the other answers.
Good Question!!!

Answer 8

Apparently the women you have been involved with are immature mentally as well as emotionally. Don't waste your time on women who don't value themselves because they have a lot of "emotional baggage" they're carrying around. They need to get themselves straight before getting into a relationship.

Please don't settle for less than you are. The right women will come along one day and you will know she's the one.

Answer 9

I consider character very important. Where long-term relationships are concerned, I want a man who is honest- he acts a certain way and doesn't try to hide things from me. He's true to himself and to me.
I also want a man with high values in this life. Being honest and true is part of that but I also want someone who loves me, has some sensitivity to what's going on around him, is responsible, is educated, knows how to live in this world, and would be true to me and to his values. And last but not least, he needs to accept and support me and my standards and the way I live my life. That's what I want.

Answer 10

Only superficial women who care more for looks and image are attracted to men with no integrity. These relationships are usually formed on lust and don't last.