I have doubts about ever getting married. I am not in a relationship right now. I was in one but it didnt work out . My mothers marriage with my father was bad (he passed away when i was 5 months old.) My mom always talked good about him but now that i am older i realized and came to find out that he was no good. 90% of all my friends' parents are divorced or hate eachother.I have heard that the secret for good marriage is cheating. I notice that most marriages don't work out after 5 years or less! The only happy marriages i have seen only existed a long time ago! basically Im scared that marriage will ruin my life in the future. I have goals to become a lawyer and i don't want anything to mess it up. In my passed relationships i have claimed to be sure that person is the one, but after one year of being together it all goes to hell. So if there is anyone out there that can give me their opinion and experience about marriage please do so. Because the say life is about "being in love".
2006-12-02 09:56:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I believe good marriages do still exist.
My husband and I have been married for 34 years, raised three children, and are still very much in love. Maintaining a good marriage takes two people and it's not always easy. Both partners have to be committed to the relationship and you need to respect each other. There's a lot of "give and take".
Things are very different today than when I was a child. My grandparents, parents and all my aunts and uncles were all married over 40 to 50 years. About half of my cousins and friends are all on their second marriages. I really don't know why so many people get divorced today. I guess sometimes it's just too "easy" to quit.
Society has changed, I think a lot of people don't have the same values as previous generations. People aren't willing to "work" towards something worthwhile. "Cheating" has become all too "normal" in marriage. I still believe that looking outside the marriage for any reason is "wrong" and it never solves anything.
A marriage that is built on love and respect, and entered into by two mature adults, still has a great chance. You will never reap the rewards if you are afraid of failure. Anything worth having is worth working for. A great marriage is one of life's true treasures. Having a "safe" place in the world can be a great comfort when things are tough.
If it ended tomorrow, I would still be thankful for everyday I spent with my husband. All the little arguments and disappointments don't matter. What matters is that he made my life a better place because he was in it. That he loved me and always put my welfare and our children's above his own. I hope we have another 34 years, I thank God everyday for the blessings I've been given.
I wish you the same good fortune, God bless.
2006-12-02 10:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My parents are coming up on their 30th year of marriage.
And cheating is NOT what makes a marriage last.
WORK is what makes a marriage last.
COMMUNICATION is what makes a marriage last.
In today's society, it's too easy for people to rush into marriage and then divorce after their first fight. Nobody puts in ANY effort into a marriage anymore, and it's disgusting to me.
Just because your relationships have gone bad after 1 year (by the way, that's the big "mark" for whether or not you can make it through the long run, every couple hits a rough spot at 1 year) doesn't mean you should rule out marriage your entire life.
You just need to find that right person and WORK AT IT.
Nothing in life is ever easy. Especially marriage.
2006-12-02 10:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean, the divorce rate is horrible. I've been married almost 20 years and we are more in love now that ever. Marriage is a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs, the trick is to stay on the ride together and work though everything no matter what.
Congrats on your future as a lawyer. Part of the definition of love is to want the best for your partner no matter what...remember this. Don't give up on love or marriage or you may be missing one of the greatest joys in life :-)
2006-12-02 11:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be pretty fixated on marriage for someone who says they don't want to get married!
There's nothing stopping you from becoming a lawyer, only you can stop yourself. As long as you want it enough you won't let anyone or anything get in the way.
I think to get married and stay married you have to be so incredibly compatible with that person to always enjoy their company & weather any tough times that come along.
That doesn't always come around, some people think it has then after a while realise its not the case when the rose tinted glasses come off which probably leads to divorce.
I don't think I'll ever get married simply because I don't like to feel restricted, mentally or physically, but that doesn't mean you can't be as much in love for a very long time.
Maybe its the strains of marriage that weaken relationships & we'd be better off staying as partners?
2006-12-02 10:10:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can tell you is that there is only one divorce among my relatives. All my aunts and uncles and cousins are happily married. I seem to see the same couples in my neighborhood too. I think it is being a very ethical and moral person yourself and seeking someone who has the same morals as you do. Someone who cares about family (how do they treat their family) and who feels that children need both parents, and who believes cheating is dispicable, etc. But above all else, be the best person you can be and have high standards and you will attract likeminded people. Don't get married until you have known the person a long time and have a rapport with his family too. Premarital counseling is a good thing.
2006-12-02 10:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is not about "being in love". I happened to find the most beautiful person that ever lived. She is not a beauty queen, model, sex slave, or anything like that. She and I were in the right place at the right time. Here is our story... I was with three other friends and we were out enjoying a beautiful summer day at the local Dairy Queen eating ice cream. While at the window ordering, I jokingly asked one of the older married ladies what she was doing later. She introduced me to a young lady that I arranged to take to the theatre later in the week. I had forgotten that I had another date earlier that same day so I had to run from one date to the other. The first girl's friends saw us and I was in trouble for the rest of the school year. It certainly did not matter. We were later married have had three children, one grandchild, and have been married over thirty years. I would not trade her for anything in this World!! She is my cutie. Have a great week.
Eds
2006-12-02 10:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by Eds 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I LOVE MY HUSBAND! Ive been married 14 yrs, and we have 4 wonderful kids. we have lots of sexxx,laughter,and fun times together. we compromise,and rarely fight.
2006-12-02 10:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by EDITH M 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
then live life like you are. Marriage does not make you happy. happiness is inside us. we choose tyo be happy or not. good luck
2006-12-02 10:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by -------- 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋