if we were all muskrats what would happen to america's dairy industry?

Answer 1

The American Dairy Association hired me to look into this eventuality 11 years ago. The muskrat population at the time was in decline, but there was talk of evil North Korean experiments that bred American teenagers with various rodents. Most of the inter-species fetuses were nonviable, but by bombarding the zygotes with gamma rays the human-muskrat hybrid took.

After 11 generations of interbreeding, the human genes were successfully supplanted by muskrat genes and the hyper-intelligent muskrats now hold the majority of jobs in Idaho and North Dakota and are making inroads in the political systems of Northern Illinois and Iowa.

If my math is correct, by the year 2040 muskrats will be in the majority in America and the dairy industry will collapse, as will the beef and automobile industries. Poultry production will increase, as the little carnivores will feed their cravings for meat with easily accessible supplies.

By 2087, humans will disappear from North America all together. The only way to avert this disaster is for us to act now. Every American man, woman and child must ask Santa Claus for a muskrat coat for Christmas this year and every year until the threat is eradicated.

Thank you for allowing me to bring this potential threat to the attention of my fellow Americans.

Answer 2

The price of cheese would go through the roof because all the little muskrat lovers would be nibblin on cheese.

Curse you circlometry

I had forgotten about Toni Tenille;

Now that song is in my head.


Muskrat Love Originally performed by America.


Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
Doin the town and doin it right
In the evenin
Its pretty pleasin

Muskrat susie, muskrat sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And sammys so skinny

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

Nibbling on bacon, chewin on cheese
Sammy says to susie honey, would you please be my missus?
And she say yes
With her kisses

And now hes ticklin her fancy
Rubbin her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

La da da da da ...


Edit: My mistake, they would be nibblin on bacon and chewin on cheese. So I guess the pork prices will rise also.

Answer 3

Well, being muskrats, we would never had had a dairy industry to begin with, so in that sense, nothing!

Answer 4

The industry would suffer a massive blow, and it would have to lay off over 300,000 of its cows. Unemployed cows would be held responsible for the 200% raise in violent crimes.

Answer 5

You're avatar is soooo cute! I used to have that picture as my background on my computer.

Answer 6

Well, I guess there just wouldn't be one, would there?

Answer 7

I guess.....oh kitty I don't know! :(