I am trying to prove to my son that I am correct. His curfew is 11 PM on weekend nights, 9:30 on school nights. But it's the 11 PM one that he thinks is "insane". He insists everyone else stays out "way later".........I think 11 pm is totally a normal and acceptable time. I told him if he improves his grades from c's to b's, I will raise it to 11:30. Serious answers plz? I'm going to make him read this. tHx.
2006-12-02 09:44:41 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
His friends have cars, so they are driving around everywhere. AND some of his friends get high and/or drink... I believe my son does not, but I know some of his friends do, so he is driving around at this time with them. I know I can't force him to give up his friends, but the later it gets - the more bad sh*t can happen.
2006-12-02 09:50:43 · update #1
Honestly, he's lucky to have a curfew at 11PM. My curfew, even when I was 17 was 9:30 PM on weeknights AND weekends. Children honestly don't know how good they have it these days. Video games, allowences, etc etc.
I think 11PM is too late. But of course, at that age, he's only concerned about what "everyone else" is doing and how much "way later" his "friends" are staying out until. Just remind him that you love him, and you're only concerned about his safety.
Parents who let their children run free all hours of the night don't really care too much about their kids. It just shows that you care, and are a good parent. =]
2006-12-02 09:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by =] -- * 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My curfew was 11 p.m. on weekends until I was 18 and I got A's. Most of my friends could stay out until midnight though. My true friends went home at the same time I did. Which made it easier. I never thought it was unfair because when I went to college I didn't have a curfew but I still came home no later than 1 a.m.
I think that 11 p.m. is a good curfew for a 16 year old.
2006-12-02 17:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by KC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say compermise between 11 and midnight, if he is with friends and they are doing something(safe and legal) feel free to add 15 minutes. In my state of Virginia, new drivers under 18 aren't allowed to drive after midnight and before 4 am unless if they are returning from work or a "school function. So feel free to compermise on weekends. On weekdays, at the most 10 pm, because he has school at 6 or 7 in the morning. Some people don't go out on weekends and they stay home finishing hw. I take regular class and i still have at the most 4 hours of homework. Bottom line, the real fun starts after you turn 21.
2006-12-03 17:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by Steve C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most places the legal curfew is midnight for 16 year olds. My curfew is much earlier on school nights. On weekends the only way that I'd approve of midnight is if my daughter has some sort of function she's attending and I have all the details about where she'll be and who she'll be with.
There are so many things that can happen and so many things that kids can get pushed into or blamed for when they make a practice of hanging out late every night. The intention may not be to get hurt or get into trouble, but trouble can find you when you least expect it. My kids think I'm way too strict, but the job I have - I have seen it and heard it all ... and have been to a couple of funerals for my kids friends.
One was out later than he was supposed to be, and was run over and killed by a drunk driver. Another was hanging out one night at a local Taco Bell laughing and talking with friends. Some guy that was there with his friends thought he was making fun of him, shot and killed the kid.
2006-12-02 20:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by How do I delete this? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to be in by 10:00 pm on school nights ( unless it was approved by my parents) Weekends it was midnight. It stayed midnight until my Senior year in high school when I told my parents the time I would be in but they had final approval. It was still 10 on school nights. If I was late I was grounded a week per minute after 10 minutes. Check because a lot of cities often have a teen curfew in place.
I was also an A student. If my grades went down so did my privileges
2006-12-02 17:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by wes41550 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have made the right decision already. 11 seems late enough. I imagine he may want to see a late-night movie that goes on past that, and if you allow him to he should expect to be picked up by you or his father. If you know some of his friends are drinking/using, etc. I would take every precaution not to let him get into their vehicles. Let him know you trust and love him. I also think it's a terrific idea to offer him a later curfew if, and only if, he improves his grades. I would consider offering to lengthen his curfew when he is 17 if he stays away from alcohol and drugs. If he continues to come home sober and on time, he will have proven to you his trustworthiness and that is worth rewarding. I don't know if this is the right answer, it's not that black & white, but trust your instincts as a mother and let your son see that he can earn his rights by bettering himself. Good luck to you and him!
2006-12-02 19:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by Me, Thrice-Baked 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you look on the back of your drivers license there is a curfew for drivers age 16 and if he is driving he and his friends should be following that. If his friends are older that would explain why they get to hang out later but I personally believe your curfew is reasonable and there is not much left for a sixteen year old to do but get into trouble after 11:00 anyways. When I was his age I had to be in at the same time and it kept me from getting into trouble with the rest of my friends who were only staying out later to party anyways.
2006-12-02 17:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by Summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious?
I was allowed out until 11 occasionally. But generally my curfew was 10:30.
My brother is 16 and has to be in the house by 10:30.
Children shouldnt be unsupervised that late at night. Theres only trouble to be found.
2006-12-02 17:50:00 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 100% on the money and very generous to boot . During the week especially he should not be running around at all but do homework and prepare for school and even give you a hand at chores around the house . A 16 year old fellow needs to focus on other things than chasing around outside after dark .
He will be away from your good influence in two more years and do as he pleases like it or not . Do the best you know how and never feel guilty if it does not pan out 100% . I hope he can see that his future is more important than staying out late .
Good Luck.
2006-12-02 17:57:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a 16 year old boy, as well. Absolutely I think 11PM on the weekends is fine, particularly given your son's grades and your concerns about his friends. I agree that if he improves his grades then he's earned a bit more leeway. I always have my sons (16 and 18...the 18 year old is in college, but when he's home...) tell me where they are, where they're going, call me when they're going from place to place. I must know with whom they are driving, and in fact, generally don't let them drive with anyone...I prefer them to do the driving. For a very special occasion I think you can go later on the weekend curfew, to like 12:30, but at this age that's about it.
2006-12-02 17:54:38 · answer #10 · answered by Shars 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋