its called walls,
let me in dont shut me out,stop building the walls around your heart.dont you see its hurting me i just cant seem to love you right.you say that you love me you say that your true while you build the walls around you.i cant take the pain so let me in dont turn your back i need a friend.by joanna
2006-12-02 09:27:13 · 3 answers · asked by joannluna1974 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
no, that is pretty terrible. but you don't have to feel bad. most poetry sucks. It doesn't feel very original. the use of metaphor would help it greatly.
2006-12-02 09:32:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To wrtie about an emotion is difficult to express in words, there is nothing wrong with the sentiments behind the words, just try to set them out as you want them read, like this.
walls.
Let me in!
don't shut me out,
building the walls
around your heart.
don't you see!
its hurting me.
ect ect.
set out your work in stanzas to gain impact, regards LF
Ps hope you dont mind constructive advice.
2006-12-02 09:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by lefang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not.
2006-12-02 09:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋