I am married to a wonderful man, who is an excellent provider and father...... however, I am not in love w/ him any more. I do have a boyfriend of 6 mos that I am in love w/ not just lust....we love each other..... he is in the same situation....are we terrible people for feeling and being this way?
2006-12-02 08:48:21 · 18 answers · asked by LADY RED 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sometimes an old relationship feels like it's "in-loveless" because "in love" is generally a feeling you have when a relationship is new and fresh.
I think you need to consider what made you fall out of love with your husband, or if it is merely the time.
My mother tells me--as I'm only 20 and never been married--that "love" not "in love" lasts far longer and is stronger than the latter.
It's bad morally, but I've dated others while in a long-term relationship, so I can't criticize. The thing is you have to figure out if it's because the relationship is much younger than the marriage that you feel this way.
2006-12-02 09:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You contradict yourself. Your title states you love your husband and your discription states you're not in love with him any more.
It wouldn't be terrible if all three of you agreed with the going situation. But it seems your husband is being left out of this part of the picture.
I've been reading on this very subject and it seems that a situation like yours is highly acceptable by quite a few married people that understands things like this. A female doctor named Cherry Lee goes into much detail on this subject.
Is it terrible or is it human nature. Doctor Lee thinks we may have evolved through time for the female to take on more than one mate to assure the servival of the young. I doubt if any one can answer your question accuratly.
Personaly I'd give you the green light but I sure many readers would give you the bad girl tag.
Any how good luck as these things wind up with terrible pain for all involved.
2006-12-02 18:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by maybe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not terrible for feeling that way, but you are being unfair by cheating on your husband. How would you feel if it was the other way around? You can't live a double life, sooner or later he'll find out and it'll be a horrible experience for both of you and worst of all your children. My advice is to leave him. Don't stick around because he's a great provider. If you don't love him anymore, then you need to take the necessary steps to end the relationship and get a job so you can support yourself.
2006-12-02 16:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by Chica 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your same situation. It's something that can just happen - not that you ever meant for it to. You can work with someone, for example, spend a lot of time around them, and the next thing you know you have feelings for each other. However, sometimes in life you have to put committments before feelings. You have a family. Your children and your husband count on you. This must be your priority. Not being "in love" anymore has to do with feeling, and love is not just a feeling. It is a committment. There will be times the feelings aren't there - you just have to remain committed during those times, and eventually the feelings will return if you remain committed. Don't do this to your family, sweetie. Please.
2006-12-02 16:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by jessi g 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes i think you are heartless your husband is good to you and your cheating on him why dont you tell him how you feel so you can feel free to do wahtever you want and not feel bad about it honesty is alwasy the best way to go and youll feel alot better when your done, if your not in love with him anymore it is wrong to be in the relationship with him leaving him totally clueless to what is goign on hopefulyl you make the right decision and remmeber a your boyfriend could just be a flign dont ruin your marriage for something that isnt real love
2006-12-02 17:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea pretty much.
Why don't you have some integrity about yourself and end it with your husband instead of dogging him out?
On top of that, what are you expecting from this other guy? You may not be in love with your husband, but how do you know for sure this guy is not in love with his partner? He's probably lying his a.s.s. off cuz he knows you are married and he can get away with it.
Wake up and smell the coffee honey. What you're doing is wrong.
2006-12-02 17:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your "boyfriend" does not respect the covenant of marriage. If you end up with him, what guarantee do you have that he will stay with you anyway?
Staying married is sometimes difficult but divorce is worse. You will regret leaving a good man for one who floats your boat today.
There are a pile of men in the world who are attractive.
Chose to do what is best in place of your emotions which change as quickly as the wind.
2006-12-02 17:31:57 · answer #7 · answered by NewEnglandLife Mapping 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you do the right thing and divorce your husband, so both of you can get on with your lives ?
You are terrible and deserving of public scorn if you continue to stay married and cheat on your spouse.
Do the right thing and leave...
2006-12-02 16:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by DixieNormus 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What you are doing is unfair to your husband. If he is a wonderful man, you owe it to him to be honest with him and end the relationship. This is deceitful and sneaky behaviour. You can't have your cake and eat it too here. Come clean with this man. He doesn't deserve this.
2006-12-02 16:51:45 · answer #9 · answered by helly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't always help who you fall in love with sometimes it just happens before you know it, but someone will always end up getting hurt at the end
2006-12-02 16:59:53 · answer #10 · answered by brigette b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋