Background Info: I'm 22 & studying world history in college. I'm planning on going on a short trip to China next Spring Break, something I've wanted to do for YEARS now. My close friend Daniel is a teacher at a martial arts/kung fu school, and would LOVE the opportunity to go to Hong Kong and visit the Shaolin temple, since he studies under a Grand Master who studied at Shaolin.
I want to take my friend Daniel to China with me. It just makes sense.
My fiance is jealous and says that taking another man to another country with me is crossing the line. We both have a history of cheating in our 7 year relationship that we've worked really hard to overcome, but how can we ever really trust each other if the first time it's tested is "crossing the line"?
Fiance is an ex-Marine who has been to many difference countries and I haven't, and I'm a world history major. Of course I would take HIM with me to China, but he has no deep interest in it. Daniel on the other hand DOES, it's his dream.
2006-12-02 08:37:27 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If there is so much past infidelity in your relationship then taking another man on this trip could quite possibly be crossing the line and could be the end of the relationship. The insecurity of those past indiscretions hasnt passed for him. How would you feel if he jetted across the world with some other chick... just as friends? Logically I think you are right... if he isn't interested then why not take Daniel?!?! However love isnt logical very often. He isnt comfortable with Daniel going so Daniel should stay home. Otherwise, you may lose him.
Just remember if the trust isnt there then losing him may not be a horrible thing. You may want to consider your decision on this matter as a sign on how much you value this relationship.
2006-12-02 08:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by bobndew 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
communicate with him actual. He for sure is getting something from conversing including her - yet that would not advise he's dishonest. Ask him what it is about or perhaps if there is something on your courting jointly you want to construct on. If the solutions do not thoroughly sparkling up your intestine, then anticipate your intestine is sweet and locate a extra efficient man or woman to be with. both way, he shouldn't contact her anymore because it makes you uncomfortable. He shouldn't look squirly as you communicate. second, you called her instead of waiting till he got here living house and sorting out what he had to assert?? that is beside the point. you may want to apply slightly help too. She shouldn't inform you something. She has no theory what's occurring, why you're calling, or what's the suited theory for her to assert. She might want to stay quiet and allow both human beings contained in the courting do the chatting with one yet another.
2016-11-23 13:04:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your history is the key.
You say you've worked hard to overcome the history, well that work never ends, Part of that hard work would be to forego the opportunity of bringing Daniel.. It makes no sense to take Daniel if you are commited to that work.
If it's his dream, Daniel can go anytime if he can afford it.
Your fiance may not have any deep interrest in China, but he dosen't have to have a deep interest in China to have interest in going there with you. (Even if it's just because you want him to.)
2006-12-02 08:52:06 · answer #3 · answered by mt_hopper 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Although I can see your point of view it would hurt my feelings if I am not interested in a country but my fiance took another women to a country to fulfill her dreams? if that is the case why would he be marrying me you need to listen and respect your fiance wishes Daniel can go to China on his own time and his own expense and you can go to China on your own make your fiance dreams come true once you start making people dreams more important then the one your going to marry sorry but the marriage will be doomed from the start
Love the not so bitter Jaded Divorce' who left her husband when he took his Secretary to the Bahamas and not me LOL
2006-12-02 08:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This really doesn't sound like a good idea. It does. however, sound like you're anxious to get the teacher out of the country. I think you should let Daniel dream on, unless you're willing to lose one of the "few and proud."
2006-12-02 08:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Dave 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definitely would NOT take another man. Only asking for trouble!
2006-12-02 09:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋