me and my boyfriend started out as best friends when we got together i stopped using drugs for him i was quite addicted and now have been coke free for about a year. while in my partying days i had sex with a few people he knew and thay all said i was amazing in bed so of course assumed i was the truth is though that i basically just used to lay there and get ******. im to embarassed to tell my boyfriend this now he thinks i dont like having sex with him because i dont iniciate and im not as good as ppl said the truth i dont know how to iniciate i never had to i love him and im scared i might lose hi if i dont get better in bed
2006-12-02 08:18:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to tell him that if he loves you he will accept you for who you are. If initiating sex isn't coming naturally for you right now, then don't do it. You should only do what is right for you and not what other people want from you. If you don't find it natural for you to intiate sex, then you aren't ready to.
Some ideas for initiating sex: walk up to him, kiss him passionately, tug at the zipper of his pants with your hands or your teeth, and climb on top of him seductively, slowly caress his body and tease him by getting close to touching his erogenous zones without touching them, while kissing him passionatetly and taking off your top, ask him to touch you in specific places. Give him a lap dance, rub his thighs with your hands. Get on your knees and kiss his stomach while you rub his thighs with your hands. Gently caress your lips over his body, Rub your body against him, etc.!
Some tips for great sex: Keep anticipation up. Tell him over the phone that later tonight you want to have sex and he will have high anticipation until then. Tease him by touching him all over his body, and close to his erogenous without touching him all the way, or only touching him there a little. Do the unexpected and keep him excited. Change the rhythm, lick his ear, massage his hand, and other places.
It sounds though to me like you haven't had a very healthy sex life. You may be identifying your only self worth to your boyfirend and others through sex. You are worth a lot more than sex to the people who really care about you. Don't forget to focus on your other good qualities and grow yourself intellectually, spiritually and emotionally and grow your relationships with friends and family based on wholesome things becaue life if a lot more than just sex. And you are a lot more than the kind of sex that you do.
2006-12-02 08:35:37 · answer #1 · answered by Cynthia W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stopped using drugs dear heart and this guy more or less is using you and if you start playing with fire, you know what may happen; don't you? Let's say you loose the guy because of this. You would not loose much! You have regained control on your life. You did the work. You succeeded in having more self-respect and now is the time to work on your self-love and self-worth. There is more to happiness than being good in bed for the sake of another person! Don't be scared dear Heart. If your bf. loves you, he will accept you just the way you are and respect you for it. I am not trying to judge you or him but just make you aware of realities.
Perhaps you could talk about this with someone you trust in re-hab or whoever you really trust, family member or confident.
Keep up the good work and let go of the past and whatever others may or may not say about you. Do what is right for yourself!
Good luck . Have a beautiful day.
2006-12-02 08:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by montralia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It took me a moment to figure out what you were trying to say. The word is "initiate." Don't worry about it - just for future reference.
Your boyfriend sounds like a very good person. I suggest you talk to him about it since he already understands so much. It is important to initiate sex once in a while so that it is not always so one-sided. Your boyfriend will probably understand and help you work with it. Once you do it a couple times, you'll start to feel more comfortable. It will start to become natural over time.
2006-12-02 08:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by hobbes84k 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that the advice to get porn videos is a good idea. Also get some lube like AstroLube.
A lot of guys like it if you wake them up with oral sex or a hand job.
Just understand the best way to do is up and down, dont stop and ask if he likes it, just keep going, dont pause in the middle. If giving oral take it as deep in your mouth without choking as you can. Use your hand to assist you with oral. If you need to take a break just use your hand until you can use your mouth again.
Get a vibrator and use it on yourself while you guys have sex.
Good luck.
2006-12-02 16:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He knows you were not a virgin when he met you. Be frank and tell him, though you made love before him, you just lay there and let the man do his thing. Ask him to teach you how he wants you to handle him. Dont do anything funny in the name of trying to make your man happy. It may turn out nasty.
2006-12-02 08:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are going to have to be patient with each other dear. If you can try buying a toy you can practice on. You've lost alot of time snorting.
2006-12-02 08:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by donewithyahooanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
work hard work long you have 3 hole work with all of them or have a friend give you Little help all men wood like a Little 3 way some time or all the time
2006-12-02 08:29:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he loves you then you wont loose him tell him to teach you how to be better in bed.. not everyone can be the best in bed without trying... and sometimes we have to teach each other things what we like and dont like there is nothing wrong with you
2006-12-02 08:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by crazyme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,If you want to be better, you should suggest new things. Moan Groan yell say you need him. stuff like that. Use toys,film it,mirrors or read up on it.
Or you could ask him what he means in general.
2006-12-02 08:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by PMCQ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Surprise him with little kinky things. Get a full wax, wear sexy lingerie under your clothes and tell him about it when you are in a public place, etc.... Get it?
2006-12-02 08:23:06 · answer #10 · answered by dirkdiggler9999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋