i'm married but am friends with a guy, a work colleague. We have started spending more time together and feelings are there tho nothing has been said or done. How do I deal with this, I don't want anyone to get hurt?
2006-12-02 07:08:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its important to back off! You sound like you know your limits?It can get hot and heavy fast so if you love your husband dont hang with this other guy at all.Be kind!
2006-12-02 07:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by jessy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want anyone to get hurt, including yourself, stop this crap now. Put the feelings out of your mind and get busy on your marriage. Nothing has been done , keep it that way.
If you persist and end up cheating, your self image will take a big hit as you have become a liar and cheat. That would be hurt. Even if hubby does not know, your conscience will affect you and your marriage. Hurt again. If husband finds out or even dumber you tell him to share the guilt, your marriage takes an even bigger hit. The damage may be irreparable. He will be permanently hurt and may never forgive you. That does not even begin to understand what can happen to this other guy if he is married. Most employers look poorly on this going on in the business. How would losing your jobs feel, no hurt there.
You are not going to get any acceptance here for what you are thinking about doing because you are about to spread around a lifetime of hurt in a few months. The big question is for what? To get away from an abusive husband, lack of support, poverty, or what? No just because this guy who pays attention to you has caused you to have feelings?
Grow Up. If you want this guy so bad let your husband in on it and get divorced. Then you will be free to do whatever you want with this guy. See what happens with his commitment when he finds you were willing to have your head turned so easily. He'll be gone and you'll be alone.
That's the downside.
Maybe you should tell this guy thanks but you are married and leave him alone. Then go work on the love you already have which you are thinking about tossing away.
2006-12-02 07:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married - so you should be very careful with your friendship to this other guy. You made a vow to your spouse to be faithful, and even if you're not romantically involved with your colleague, it sounds as though you may be emotionally. That's cheating on your spouse. How would you feel if the roles were reversed, and it was your spouse who had a "girl"friend at work? Betrayed? I think you need to be cautious in your work relationship that you remain friends ONLY - that includes no flirting. Focus on the positives of your spouse and the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Ask yourself if you're missing anything in that relationship and if you are, work on improving it. If you're both happily married, then you're less likely to let something happen outside of the marriage.
2006-12-02 07:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by K S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you are asking. Are you seeking a way to have an affair, without "hurting" anyone? Are you looking for a way to keep having a "boyfriend", but not cheating? You only have two choices. Stay faithful, or cheat. There are NO other choices. Actually, you could get divorced, and then play with anybody you want. But, as long as you remain married, you can't play around with anybody but your spouse, unless you are prepared to see a low class cheater every time you look in the mirror. Your life, your choice.
2006-12-02 07:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a married woman. Go home to your husband, you should be getting close to him. If your not, then find a way to get that back. People don't take marriage serious anymore. If it's sex, that's easy go get you something sexy and do a strip tease for your husband, spice that bed room up. If It's communication then you might need to try to work it out between the two of you .If that's not possible then you might seek outside help,what can it hurt? You must be missing something at home find out what that is. Then you won't want to stray. Good Luck sweetie.
2006-12-02 07:20:32 · answer #5 · answered by sweetness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone always gets hurt in a situation like this because one always loves more than the other. If you really want to do the right thing, feel it out not dating just talking and if really are serious like your friend more your husband. Get a legal separation , go out with this guy and if you feel you really love him more than your husband then file for divorce and see what happens. Remember if you realize your husband is the one you love, he might find someone wants more than you.
2006-12-02 07:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Nicki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Howz your relationship with your husband? do you love him? ask yourself what do YOU want to do? do you want to continue your relation with your husband for life or with this guy? if you are happy with your married life and want to be with your husband for lifelong (atleast till now) then you need to put a stop to this relationship... but if you are not happy with your husband or if your relationship with him has died, then you might continue like this for a while to see where it is going... if this new guy is serious about you....
also, if you love your husband and if you have a good relationship, then do ask yourself... how would you feel if your husband is also having another relationship like this going behind your back?? will you be able to accept it or forgive him for it??? remember, that if you still love your husband then all you need to do is, give it some more time and work on it... this will be just a passing phase.... all the best...
2006-12-02 07:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by HavingFun!!! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honesty is always the best way. If nothing has happened then it is not too late. If you are interested in someone else then something is not right in your marriage. It may be something you and you husband can fix if you just talk to him and try to figure out what it is. If you cheat someone always gets hurt.
2006-12-02 07:18:47 · answer #8 · answered by Kari M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop talking to your friend so you will not be tempted to act on your feelings... Hanging around other men without your husband is a very dangerous game and should not be attempted... Who do u love more your husband or your friend... Decide who you want to be with and make your choice... dont brake your husbands heart....good luck
2006-12-02 07:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by happy2BAlive!! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said you were married, does that mean anything to you? Does he mean anything to you? Stop pursuing a relationship with the guy at work and start putting some effort into your husband to make your marriage stronger. If you can't control yourself, your husband deserves the respect of telling him you want to disolve your marriage before you get into it with another man!! You should be ashamed of yourself.
2006-12-02 07:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋