I know this person who seems to be 'miles away' all the time. His reaction time is slow, he's not with it and he prefers spending time on his own. He doesn't notice things around him and takes ages before he notices things. He is not depressed at all, by the way, he's quite OK. He knows he's like this and would like to snap out of it and be around more. What can we do with him?
2006-12-02 06:45:40 · 12 answers · asked by Luvfactory 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
There is nothing you can do to change him. He is probably extremely smart and off in his own thoughts. He might have ADD . attention deficit disorder. All of our brains work differently, his obviously is very introverted. Some of the smartest people I know arn't smart when it comes to social connections. They are absent minded and seem to be off in a world of their own.
You can't change another person, and it isn't you responsibility to do so. You can only change how you react to him. If you know he is easily distractable and you need his attention you might touch his arm when you talk to him to get his attention. Or make sure you have eye contact with him when you speak to him. Don't go on and on talking in detail because his mind might go off in a different direction. Use less words and be to the point with him.
Accept him as he is.
2006-12-02 06:58:09 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I notice you use the male pronoun. I thought all females though men were like this! My wife (of 26 years) tell me I never listen when she speaks to me, that I don't answer her, or when I do I only give half an answer. Seriously, it is because half the time I'm living in a little world of my own. Sometimes, I'm so busy think how to answer a question that I will take ages to do it, or think that because I've answered it to myself in my head, I've answered the person speaking to me - or I'm miles ahead thinking of the next thing. I'm not depressed either, it's just the way I am and nothing will change me. Incidentally, and without wishing to boast, my IQ is 157. Does you friend score equally high? I do think high IQs and 'dreaminess' are often found together.
2006-12-02 14:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by rdenig_male 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guys a thinker a person to be treasured
doesn't want to run with the pack.
Not a loner but happy with his own company
Don't try and change him cos one day you may need him
2006-12-02 14:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get like that sometimes too... I find that reality just gets so tedious and frustrating, that it's easier to cope if you paint a fantasy world around you. That doesnt mean you believe things that arent' true, it just means that you daydream a lot more.
He'll come around eventually. Try to get him to see the beauty and complexity of every day things, like math! 8)
2006-12-02 14:57:56 · answer #4 · answered by brian-upstairs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how this would work in his case, but try giving him more space than he can possibly handle on his own, if you're not too emotionally attached to him; I guess it'll take some time, but he should come around...eventually.
2006-12-02 15:31:06 · answer #5 · answered by Elizus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has something going on inside.
Instead of trying to "do something" with him, maybe you should back off and let them figure whatever it is, out.
Your concern and effort (although very compassionate, i am sure) may be hindering his thought process.
Give him some space, and time. He will come around.
2006-12-02 15:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by konstipashen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as if you are describing my husband.26 years now of marriage and i couldn't shorten the miles away as you said,n i couldn't even make his reactions faster towards anything. those people have a problem inside,and we also have a problem adapting with their negative attitude. all you need is patience and wisdom,and a good anger management.
2006-12-02 15:28:28 · answer #7 · answered by sadflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some answers have to come from our inside,, maybe u need to adapt yourself to his way in dealing with his live and maybe he needs a doctor's consultancy!!
2006-12-02 14:53:37 · answer #8 · answered by Antonio 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depend on what is your objectives
Do you want to change him? bad move
Do you want him to notice you - forget about it
Just leave him alone and find somebody else - somebody more interesting and who is also interested in you
2006-12-02 15:03:25 · answer #9 · answered by sm bn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a very independant person. likes to be a loner - do his own thing.dont smother him.
2006-12-02 14:58:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋