my mum and dad think that my boyfriend who i have been going out wiv for 9 months is to clingy, cos he is at my house near enough every day. Because he has problems at home my parents think i shouldnt have to deal with it. They think that he is too dependant on me and if we ever split up he would be a nervous wreck or perhaps something more seriouse (suicide?). I think they are all wrong because i like him as company, i get very lonely and i see him more as companionship rather than lover...i love him too bits though and could never imagine life without him. I dont know wot to do. He treats me lovely and will do anything i ask him to do, wether thats a good think or not i dunno. My parents want me to live my life, i am only 17 but feel happy in a relationship so i dont want to end things. I think they are going completely over the top with thingsjust to scare me what do u think?? should i stop seeing him to please my parents or carry on seeing him.?
2006-12-02 06:42:56 · 13 answers · asked by JoJo40 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
BTW JUST WANT TO ALSO ADD THAT MY MUM DOESNT MIND THE LAD AND DOES LIKE HIM AND TRUST HIM. HE IS ALSO MY AGE., IF THAT HELPS...
2006-12-02 06:44:17 · update #1
if you are happy with him then stay with him, you're parents are just trying to help you but if you are happy with him then why leave him. Dont try to fix something that is not broken.
2006-12-02 06:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by dwickleworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. An older friend of mine has a daughter the same age as you and experienced this-twice. Why are you always at your house? If you went to his then at least your parents wouldn't see you glued to each others hip. Also, does he know that you feel more buddy than lovey? You should say if he doesn't. It is worrying for parents to see there young kids in such a deep and needy relationship, the pressure is too much for you at that age really. Its nice that your there for him to offload his problems to but if anything he says sounds a bit more than you can deal with or that you feel is serious, you should suggest that he talks to someone in the know. He's too young to deal with on his own and you can only do so much. With regards to my friends daughter, she eventually got drained by the boyfriends constant mood swings and problems and he did attempt suicide when she said it was over but he did that because his problems at home were deeper than anyone knew and he needed help. Sadly she seems to attract 'needy' types and is currently in the process of ending another one, and its not easy. Bottom line is never let anyone make you feel that you'll have consequences to deal with if you walk away. Needy is not good for 17yrs old and problems don't go away because your at someones house more than your at home...
2006-12-02 16:03:02 · answer #2 · answered by sue.roberson1@btinternet.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel like your bf is imposing his life into yours then I don't see a problem. Couples are supposed to be there through the good and the bad. I think that your mom and dad worry because its there job. If you love your boyfriend and enjoy his company I see no reason to end the relationship. You may only be a teenager, but teenagers are capable of strong emotional ties. I hope that you do what is good for your heart, and not what makes others happy.
2006-12-02 14:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by novelwyrm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Carry on seeing him. Your parents are concerned, but that is only to be expected. What they are probably worried about is they don't want to see you get into a serious relationship whilst your still young. They probably want you to experience what life has to offer, see new places, meet new people, make new friends, before you settle down with someone. Of course if your boyfriend makes you happy, then you could start this journey together, & who knows where it will take you. Good luck!
2006-12-02 15:04:24 · answer #4 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mum and dad have a point, have you told them about the problems he has at home as this may get them off his and your back. He is also old enough to leave home. There are some very good organisations that can help so hes not left more vulnerable than he is. I wish you both the best of luck.
2006-12-02 14:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u is a little sweetie.
u must follow ur own heart and never be put off by anyone.
if u share a beautiful love then enjoy it to the max !!!!
a lifetime is so short and we are so fragile. u r old enough to get married and that is good enough 4 me. u r both about the same age as my kid and if he were ur boyfriend i would tell him to plan to move in with u at the earliest chance and build a life together. Plan it first then just do it !!!!
try to get as much of each other as u both want.
2006-12-02 14:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
SOULMATES! I am 22 I have been with my husben for 5 years married for 8 months. I was young when I got with him. Its a good thing to have a good friend and not just a lover. I believe the you should always be friend before lovers and to be lover and to make sure it works you have to be friends and put each other first. You follow your heart. Your mom and dad loves you but you its your heart your life you'll be 18 soon. It sounds like you have a good man keep him they are heard to find and it looks like me and you we are a fwe of the lucky ones......
2006-12-02 14:55:25 · answer #7 · answered by tonyad143 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you don't want to leave him, or for him to leave you. Your parents concerns seem to be for him, having difficulties, should your relationship end, in that respect, I have the same concerns for you, as you indicate that you would be lost without him.
I do not see this as a reason for you to split.
The problems he has at home, need to be faced up to, your parents seem concerned that this is too much for you to deal with, I don't know the problems, but you need to understand them, and understand how he intends to deal with them.
If he is around your home, because he has problems at his home, that is not the best reason for him to be there. But if you both enjoy the time, it is again no reason to split.
Your parents do not think you should need to cope with his problems, if you don't need to, but want to, then there is no need for you to split.
I am concerned that you get lonely, and that he provides temporary solutions, you need to find things to do which give you interest when he is not there.
You are still young, the relationship is strong at present, you also need to be strong by yourself, you do not need to split from him in order to gain this needed strength.
2006-12-02 15:13:32 · answer #8 · answered by FairyBlessed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your parents to mind their own business. It's your life and if you have to make mistakes it should be you that does it, not on your parents advice or anybody else's. They can't live your life for you and if you don't make mistakes how can you learn about life?
they should be happy that your happy and be there for you when you need someone.
2006-12-02 14:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by Hot British Guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please darlin', if you are happy, who cares?, Just enjoy this precious and tender moment in your life, should it matter that he is dependant on you, poor guy he obviously needs to feel loved at the moment. So Don't hurt him, he will move on eventually and his problems will be past ones But for now you owe it to him.
2006-12-02 15:07:48 · answer #10 · answered by ANTJOHN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋