i posted something on here telling you guys about how im 13 and pregnant but not by choice yes the cops were called yes he is in jail but that doesnt mean im not pregnant my mom wants me to have an abortion on monday and im fighting it how do i get her to talk to me?
2006-12-02 06:04:35 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
it was her husband and she said she doesnst want anything that looks like him
2006-12-02 06:17:07 · update #1
You go to family services. She cannot make you have an abortion, its illegal. In the states you have complete control of your baby and the right to give birth to it.
You can talk to her later, or through a social worker if it comes to that. They will protect you and your baby, even if you only plan to put it up for adoption.
Forcing you to have an abortion is considered child abuse.
Call family services, or child protective srevices, or even the police if you cant find the right number, they will be able to get you on the right track.
2006-12-02 06:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
If you do not want the abortion talk to a trusted adult now, it is selfish that your mother will not consider your feelings in this situation and are only concerned about her own. I just read in a magizine of a young girl who's mother made her have an abortion, and the girl is still suffering from the abortion and the mother regrets it because of how much her own daughter has had to suffer. People may sit here and tell that 13 is too young to have a baby, but dieing before you are even born is too young. People might tell you that you'll have to give up so much of your teenage life if you have this baby, but that is not true, because you can give someone the presouis gift of a baby through adoption. There are many people you would love to have children and can not have them. And some adoption agency let you stay in contact with your child ,so you can watch them grow up. You may only be 13 but I no longer consider you a child this rape has already made you grow up if you liked it or not. Speak up for yourself and your child.
2006-12-02 16:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Blondebombshell88 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you feel in your heart that you can not have an abortion you need to tell your mom just that way. It is your choice. It is your body. You may not have been able to stop a sick dirt bag from touching you but you don't have to have an abortion. Consider the other options. It would be very hard for someone to be raped then to raise the child of that situation. Try checking out private adoption. There are a lot of families out there that would love to have a baby. I do believe that you are far too young to take care of a baby yourself. And if your mother wants you to have an abortion she most defiantly will not be there to help you. Good luck!
2006-12-02 15:10:41 · answer #3 · answered by cargrl 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You may be young, but why is your mother so insistant on adding one trauma on top of another? Abortion IS traumatizing. Rape is traumatizing, too.
Might I suggest you print out all of the answers that you get on here and show them to your mother? Perhaps she'll see that not everyone is going to view you as a "sinner" or an outcast because of the fact that you don't want to have an abortion.
Because of your age, though, I don't think that you should keep this baby. I think that adoption would be a great choice for you, and that a couple is out there waiting for the opportunity to love someone else's child as their own, because they cannot have children. Don't worry. Just because you give a child up for adoption does not mean that you cannot see your child or correspond with him or her. They have open adoptions, meaning that you can keep contact with the adoptive parents, and they will let you know how your son or daughter is faring.
I know your mother is trying to do what she thinks is best for you, but parents make mistakes sometimes. If you are completely against abortion, even in the case of rape, you need to try to talk to her, and if that doesn't work, try to get a school counselor involved. Try to talk to her first, though.
No matter what you and your family decide, you will never be the same. Try to pick the choice that will be easier for you to cope with in the future.
The very best of luck to you and your family.
2006-12-02 14:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Oh Sweetheart. My heart just aches for you. I wish that there were some words that I could type on this computer screen that would help you and I am wracking my brain for answers.
I don't know how far along you are but I do know that abortion is not the answer. If you protest loudly and strongly enough, no one can FORCE you to have an abortion. No Dr. is going to perfom an abortion on a girl that is protesting and insisting that she does not want it.
Yes, your mother is your legal guardian but you do have some rights. In the case of an abortion, you are the patient and you DO have the rights of any other patient. Unless your mother can prove that you are mentally incompetent, (as in retarded) you have the right to refuse any medical treatment!
I do feel that 13 is too young to be a mother and even tho I would encourage you to allow your baby to live, I think that you should either put your baby up for adoption or your mother should step in and raise her grandchild. You must explain to your mother that the baby is not evil just because she was conceived by an evil act. Many babies are not conceived in love but they are still worthy of love. Your baby does not deserve to die for the sins of its father. If your mother is a Christian then she knows that we are not to punish a child for the sins of the father. Explain to your mother that even tho you are very young, she has raised you to know right from wrong. Tell her that you know in your heart that it is wrong to kill your baby. She HAS to listen to you. If your are somehow forced to have an abortion against your will it will haunt you for the rest of your life. The emotional scars that you will carry will last forever. Your mother needs to know that you will not forgive her if she forces this on you. Tell these things to your mother. If you have to, point out to her that she will in fact be killing her first grandchild. I have a 13 year old daughter and believe me if she were in your situation I would not try to force her to have an abortion. It would be different if you wanted the abortion and really thought that it was the best thing to do. Honey, keep trying to get her to listen to you. If nothing else she will have to listen to you Monday when she is trying to take you to have the abortion. Do not give up. Keep trying right up until the final moment. If you can, please write to me or send me an instant message. I will stay near the computer to try to talk to you. I am on your side and I will do what I can to help you. It would help if I knew how far along you are. It would help me know the best things to say to your mother to enable her to see how you are feeling.
Most of all, do NOT give up. Where there is life there is hope and right now that little baby is warm and alive. I will try to help you to keep it that way. I am here for you.
Blessings to you.
Lady Trinity~
2006-12-02 14:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Trinity 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Like what the previous answer said, it is your choice. However, your mom probably still thinks of you as her "baby." Though you may be able to face the music, and recognize what happened, she may not. By preventing you from having a baby, she can, in her mind, erase what happened, and semi-forgive herself for not protecting you (even if what happened was NOT her fault.)
The other thing to keep in mind is your unborn child. Can you as a 13 yr old mother provide the best for that child? Will it grow up happily, or will both of you lose out? Think about it. I'm not encouraging you to have an abortion, I would just keep these things in mind.
I hope all goes well.
2006-12-02 14:13:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well i got pregnant at the age of 16 and had my baby at 17! Its hard work ...you are really young you would be giving up alot. but abortion that just isnt the right thing i know alot of people that has gotten them and they totally regret it. but adoption that is the way to go i think. letting someone else that my not be able to have children have to chance to have one. I am sorry for what happen that man should never be let out. I guess if that happened to my daughter that would be hard but she cannot force that upon you it is your body your baby and your choice with what to do! Good Luck!!
2006-12-02 15:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Even at 13, it is your body, and it is your baby. Your mom would have to realize that yes, the baby will deffinately affect you, and possibly badly. But the impact of an abortion is very detrimental to some also. You both need to go to a counselor and talk about this.
2006-12-02 14:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by ♥N,K,E&DJ'§ Mommy♥ 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am really sorry you have to go threw with this, and deal with this.
I just want you to know about abortions , I had one, not proud, clearly, but as a woman, a person I will tell you it is quick, and a life long effect. I can see why your mother would want you to go threw with this, I know you may not want to but life is not simple or inexpensive.
I just want to add how much life you have ahead that having a child would pervent you from living as a teenager, you'd miss dances, prom dresses, hanging out with friends football games, and believe b'cause i was there, you pretty much lose every friend you have w/preg. at that age.
I cant tell you how meaningful it is when one day you have baby and it is your husbands, I know that may seem forever, but you really should concider your mothers wish.
I am sure she'll be there for you every step of the way. Abortion is never an easy answer, but it is available to us females for a reason.
I'll pray for you,
2006-12-02 14:40:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I think she is just dealing with her own issues of guilt/feeling betrayed ect.... She should not let this get in the way of you being able to be happy about this baby... If you don't want an abortion, don't get one! You will regret it and have resentment towards your mom for the rest of your life! Just be sure that you are ready for this responsibility... Don't let your mother raise the child, I would get out of her house asap, this will be hard because you are so young, but do you have any aunts, uncles, or other relatives you could stay with for a while? try to get a good support system, you will need it while pregnant and once the baby comes. try to show your mom how responsible you are, stay in school, get a job.... it will be hard, but many girls go through it and succeed.... Good Luck with everything!
2006-12-02 14:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by ME 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋