my x wants thanksgiving day and christmas morning. I don' think that's fair.
2006-12-02 04:55:29 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Other - Holidays
For Thanksgiving, we trade off every year. That's the only way to make this holiday fair to the both of us. But for Christmas, we each have them for our families Christmas. My family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve and my ex celebrates Christmas on Christmas day. This year, my ex moved across the United States, so this year, he will be taking them on Christmas Day and keeping them for a week. It's about time. He usually only has them for about a day and that's it. Now, he has to actually spend time with them!!!!
2006-12-02 16:00:36 · answer #1 · answered by country girl 006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a 31 year old child of divorce....they spend it apart.
As an adult who is deeply in-love with both parents, I spend half with each....the cross over being, on Christmas day or before New Year's. For Thanksgiving, I spend it with both. They are an hour away from each other and 3 or 4 away from me.
And let me say, "my parent's get along great. They host each other during the summer for barbeques. In my dysfunctional world, they are the least dysfunctional....
I don't think it's fair the one person gets both of those holidays alone with the kids.
2006-12-02 05:06:08 · answer #2 · answered by yellowdreds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that's fair either. But it seems like it's something that should have been worked out before either holiday.
Anyway.....
How old are your kids? I think if they're probably the "tween" age, or older, they deserve to get to have a say in how it all works out. My parents didn't afford us that right, and they were both happy and we were all miserable because every holiday was so hectic, trying to make sure they got their hours logged, we didn't get to have any fun.
Thankfully, that's changed now that we're older, but it's still a struggle.
You and your ex are going to just have to accept that there will be times neither of you gets the kids that day, and it doesn't mean you can't do anything.
We now have to split time between my mom, my dad and stepmom, my in-laws, and my immediate family.
Thanksgiving usually has always consisted of getting together with my mom and my dad at times other than Thanksgiving. Usually, my mom gets the Saturday night before, where we go have the usual Thanksgiving dinner with her, her "barry" (the guy she's seriously dated for years but will never marry), and my maternal grandparents. Mid-week, my family (my husband, myself, and our two children) go out of town to see his family, where we spend Thanksgiving day and have yet another standard Thanksgiving dinner (which is not as good as my mom's but whatever). Then, like, on the Sunday night after Thanksgiving, we get together with my dad and stepmom, and they fix something other than the typical turkey-and-dressing fare (barbeque, or mexican, or homemade soup).
After years of driving from Momma's to Daddy's or vice versa every Christmas morning, being rushed and really not having fun at all, my dad finally gave in and we celebrate Christmas sometime in the week following Christmas day. I gotta say, I REALLY appreciate this little concession, since it means we can relax and make Christmas about our own families now.
Either way, the point should be that you each get your time, not necessarily that it be on the day the calandar and standard knowledge has deemed as the actual Thanksgiving or Christmas day. I would imagine you both tell your children that Thanksgiving and Christmas are not about turkey or presents, respectively, but you both could be acting like it's all about that one day, not about giving thanks, or about caring about others, or about celebrating the birth of Christ.
As far as fairness goes, since he got Thanksgiving day, I think you should get Christmas morning, then he gets Easter, you get Thanksgiving next year, and he gets Christmas morning next year.
More importantly, though, you need to make sure that your children are able to actually enjoy the holidays, not dread them. Since you're the grown-ups, and they're the kids, that might actually mean that you both have to do be nice to each other (aka. SHARE) for the sole reason that you both love your children, and they love both of you and want neither of you to feel left out.
2006-12-02 05:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents split it up that my mom had Thanksgiving, usually because we were hunting with my grandpa. Or I would be with my mom and my bro would be with my dad. Then we would be with my dad Christmas eve to visit my uncle, and be dropped off by my mom that evening. We would spend all day Christmas with my mom, and then the day after Christmas would be spent with my dad. Complicated but it worked out very well. Hope it helps, divorce and holidays are never any fun.
2006-12-02 04:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by jessecalynn78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think thanksgiving day and christmas eve would be fair...you shouldn't have to give up both holidays.
2006-12-02 05:06:56 · answer #5 · answered by Phil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then offer a plan where she gets it one year than you the next. What about Christmas eve? Did you think about giving her Christmas morning , and picking up your child after lunch , to spend the rest of the day with you. how much time do you spend with the child on a regular basis?
2006-12-02 05:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by srstephens 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not fair. my ex and i do thanksgiving and christmas eve or christmas morning and new years.
2006-12-02 04:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by # 1 sweet pea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a step mom I think my husband & his ex work it out well. Thery trade off each years. This year we have X-mas and next we get Thanksgiving.
Good luck... sometimes it can get very emotional and that gets in the way of making it nice for everyone.
2006-12-02 04:58:57 · answer #8 · answered by isis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u should have christmas!!! its only fair. if your x got thanksgiving. you should get christmas...
2006-12-02 04:56:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋