well when we met i was in a relationship and he said he was married, and we would just go out and drink/talk this developed into going to do things around the city and spending more time together, ya he is still with her, but we spend alot of time together, and since im 12 yr yonger than him [22 me 34 him] and was 12 when he got marrired i dont expect him to leave her for me soon, but we do spend alot of time together. i go to college in chiago and he visits me, weve went on vacation together, and love each others company. honestly do you allways marry your true love or soul mate?? and if you feel like youve found that person is it wrong to still love them and be there for him even if people say its wrong???
2006-12-02 04:34:59 · 31 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I date married men too, and let me speak from experience. It may feel absolutely fantastic, and you might think he's "the one", but if he hasn't left his wife for you....then he won't. Again, I speak from experience. I've had two major relationships with married men.... I spent years with them and both times I thought he was it. But, both times, the guy never left his wife for me. If he felt enough for you, and cared enough for you, he would want to have a regular relationship with you and not have to hide.
Seriously, I am speaking from experience. It may be fun, but it will hurt you in the long run. Be friends with him, but don't plan on it lasting. You need to love yourself enough to wait for someone who really loves you and wants to make a real life with you.
If it is meant to be with this guy.....he'll leave his wife for you. Trust me. I've been there.
2006-12-02 04:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by QueenChristine 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Been there done that! I was in love with a man 20 yrs older than me! And when we were together I thought for sure he loved me, too! Maybe he did.... but not enough to leave his wife for me. Like everyone has said... he wants his cake and to eat it to. And it IS totally unfair to the wife! Would you want your husband to do that to you? And you may REALLY love the guy, to this day I still love the guy I was involved with.... but that love changes especially when you find someone who REALLY loves you back!!! And that is what is important and what makes the perfect relationship... loving and being loved back! I am on husband number 4... but I am sooooo glad I didn't give up because he is the ONE and I so love him. It has been 4 years and I am still in love with him! Let the married guy go and find someone who will love you back. It is so important to have it reciprocated! I know it's hard and it hurts.... but time does make it better and so does having someone love you to the same degree that you love them. Just believe in yourself and know that you deserve better than what you are getting. You may be having fun here and there, but he's still kind of like hiding you and basically saying that you are not good enough for him to commit to. Since you are good enough for him, then you need to find someone who you mean the world to. He's out there... just don't waste too much time waiting to find him, cause he might not be there for very long.
PS.... Mike D who said he wished he could have it that way.... I feel sorry for any wife he might have! What a loser!
2006-12-02 12:56:28 · answer #2 · answered by clistaharrington 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong to be with a married man. You should have been the one to ask him well if your married why are you with me? I think that you are in the wrong and so is this called guy. Do you know that if this guy hasn't left his wife yet he isn't going to leave. And then in the end you will feel dumb and hurt. For actually trusting this so called man you love. this has happend to a family friend before. And you will never know the other womens pain after she finds out. So I think that you should leave him alone and move on. Becuz if he will cheat on his wife he will cheat on you too.
2006-12-02 12:46:10 · answer #3 · answered by Shizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to tell it to you straight, even though you won't want to hear it:
You're 22 and still in college. There are a zillion available guys out there for you. Why are you being a homewrecking ho and screwing a married man?
You're not his 'soul mate'. You are his sex and 'fun girl' on the side. If you were his soul mate, he would have ALREADY left his wife for you.
Wake up and smell the coffee because it's burning -- as are some of the best years of your life you're wasting on this loser.
And I'll tell you this -- once a cheater, always a cheater. If you end up with him, he'll cheat on you too.
2006-12-02 12:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Karen L 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's cheating on his wife with you, don't you think he'd cheat on you with someone else if you were married to him? If he got divorced tomorrow and you could be with him all of the time, do you really think it would work out? Sure maybe you love each other, but you started your relationship sneaking around and that is not a good foundation on which to build a life together.
2006-12-02 13:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by Beth T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, having an relationship with a married man is wrong. According to your info you are currently only having an emotional affair with this man. This is time and energy he should be putting into his family, not you. You need to be a woman and leave him. I know that you feel very strongly but it is the right thing to do. Your relationship with him is going nowhere and eventually you will begin to resent that it isn't going anywhere.
Be the wiser person, be the person I know you can be, do the right thing for yourself, for him, for his family. Good luck.
2006-12-02 12:41:22 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to judge you on the whole married thing but if he feels the same way about you that you do for him...why is he still with her? Trust me when I say that married men - no matter how close you think you are are in it for one reason and it's not the reason you want them to be with you for. Right now this guy is having his cake and eatting it to and you are empowering him to do so. I know how these guys can make you feel - like they really love you and want to be with you but they can't because they have a list of reasons...I have kids, I am torn, she sick and I don't want to leave her now like this, blah blah blah blah. Married men are only good for one thing and that is to break your heart. What are the issues he is having with his wife? That they fight because he goes out all the time? He would have the same issues with you too and you will be the next one in line to get cheated on.
2006-12-02 12:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by Tricia B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong for you to continue to be a intimate part in this mans life. He has a wife that is supposed to provide for him that intimacy. While you are in the picture his wifes resposibility will never be achieved, and you will always be the reason. Also, you could be the cause of thier marriage to end. Remember, if he is cheating on her what makes you think he will not cheat on you or that he isn't already? Get your own man and stop stealing other women's men. Grow up.
2006-12-02 13:36:57 · answer #8 · answered by MeToo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello
One thing is good : he told you he was married what can be considered as honesty. I understand you feel happy together, but careful, as you perfectly understood, I am afraid he won't leave her wife. (you don't mention if he has child ?)
Aren't you a game for him : he is proud to see that a very young lady is interested by himself.
What happens for you every day :
1. you are waiting for him , hoping so hardly he would come to spend some minutes together
2. You are sad when he has to go
3. you are again waiting for him,
4. etc
How is it possible that you have vacation together. Are you sure he has a wife???
Try to see lot of friends around you and don't stick your life to him. Good luck.
2006-12-02 12:50:53 · answer #9 · answered by peuimportequijesuis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing?????? How would you feel if if you were in his wife's shoes? Some day you just might if you don't make this better now. Deep down, you have to know this is wrong, right? You have to end this relationship NOW! If you let him go and he comes back to you later, then it was meant to be. Right now this whole affair is wrong. Very bad decision making on your part. I feel for your feelings and the wife. You really need to end this!
2006-12-02 12:52:21 · answer #10 · answered by truebeing3030 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say it is wrong cause u should always try to see urself in his wife's situation. How would u feel if u were sitting at home when u knew ur husband was going out with someone. U better look for some other love. U r helping him cheating on his wife n that is so WRONG!
2006-12-02 12:40:35 · answer #11 · answered by yordanos a 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋