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i want to know because i am due to get married soon and before i get into it i want to know:
what's it like?
are there more downs then ups?
how do you cope?
who do you turn to when you need to talk?
is marriage a reality to you?

2006-12-02 04:10:30 · 33 answers · asked by Sonia 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

33 answers

It's like being put in prison for a crime you didn't commit :)

Slightly more seriously, and speaking as someone who in a triumph of hope over experience got married a second time, I can say with some certainty there won't be a third.

There's an old joke: How do you stop a woman giving you oral sex?
You marry her.

2006-12-02 04:12:30 · answer #1 · answered by winballpizard 4 · 1 5

If you truly love each other and are prepared to work hard at making your marriage work then there will be more ups than downs. You need to talk to each other, not yell when it all gets too much and you cant cope! Talk to each other, always be honest about how you are feeling and always show each other love and affection. I am married for a 2nd time, we have both had long marriages before (over 25 yrs). We have found the right partner for life and we talk all the time, after 18 months together and 3 months of marriage I still get texts every morning as he leaves for work and he makes my lunchtime sandwiches and puts a little note inside, love and romance need not die just cos you get married. Its even more important! My marriage is real and will last!

2006-12-03 06:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by mermaiden 2 · 0 0

WHAT IS MARRIAGE???

1. Marriage is not a word.
It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an
institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first
year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the
second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third
year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other
person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his
sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband
gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't
know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know
his wife until He marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son,
EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage,
it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for
her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

15. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to
let him keep her.

16. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat
in Europe.

im just joking...
in married life all you need are TRUST, TIME and LOVE.
The most important of all put GOD as the CENTER of your family.
Goodluck!!!!

2006-12-02 04:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by anne 3 · 1 0

Think of it like fine wine, it needs taking care of and gets better with age. The best champagne will be no use if neglected and not taken care of. The ups always outnumber the downs (don't even think about downs). Marriage is a joint venture about pleasing each other, each partner should try to think of the other. If you can't talk to your spouse, then a most trusted friend who won't take sides is better than parents, but it really depends what you want to talk about. A reality - after 42+ years, I hope so. It works! If you're really worried, take a rain check, better not to start at all than make a bad start.

2006-12-02 04:40:54 · answer #4 · answered by Ian R 1 · 0 0

Marriage is great if you truely love. I got married Jan 13 this year and my marriage is going very strong. Now a days when people say I do they don't really take it to heart. We have more ups than downs. We hardly argue at all. When things got rough thow we stood right beside each other. Don't put your partner behind you always stand beside each other. And when other mate is having problems be supportive about it don't controll though. When we need to talk we will get something to drink and sit at the table and talk things threw. We don't do it in bed in case there is a little dis agreement. Never go to bed mad at each other. Communication is the #1 key once you loose that hard to get it back. Put your mate before any thing and anyone yes even parents. Once you marry it is you and your partner. Good Luck And CONGRADULATIONS

2006-12-02 04:23:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Marriage is great you take the ups with the downs,Richer or poorer, illness, kids,mortgages each day is different. You can cope better if you are financially stable, the loss of work and money can be devastating for a marriage to last, even then all is not lost.
I was very happily married, then amicably divorced after 18yrs, ten yrs on I miss him, sadly he died this year.

2006-12-02 07:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

marriage is what u make of it. it differs for different folks.if both of u are matured and know what it means to stay commited then it will work. remember it is not just something u walk out of at the slight sign of trouble. it is ur ability to scale through that will determine how well and long it will last. and who to talk to? only God the almighty bcos He is the all wise one. make sure ur partner is afriend first b4 deciding if he is good lover. there will come a point in time that love will SEEM to have dissapeared. be always ready to forgive and do not keep a record of wrong doings. make sure he/she is a friend u can take any bulls**t from.
always remember that ur marriage is what u make of it. i wish u all the best. do not let anybody scare u with their sorry tales. make urs a bed of roses

2006-12-02 06:13:07 · answer #7 · answered by bode 2 · 0 0

I guess it depends on how your dating life is...my marriage life is great!...we don't fight about anything, there really isn't anything to cope about, we turn to each other when we need to talk except on a few time when we rather talk to our best friends so marriage is great for me and my spouse.

Now for my ex boyfriend who fight with everyone he is on his 4th marriage and they fight all the time, it was because we fought all the time when we dated I wouldn't marry him. With his current wife of the moment he still fights all the time and thinks of marriage as a punishment so I don't know why he keeps getting married but then complains about it. I call him the Drama King

Just take cues from your relationship now. They will be the same after you say I DO. Good Luck!

2006-12-02 04:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by serephinadragon 2 · 1 1

Marriage is what you make it.

Do not, however, assume that you will never be lonely. You will be and it is the worst type of loneliness you can experience.

You cope by trying to make the most of what you do have as well as turning to friends. Do not turn to family!

Marriage isn't a reality for me. While I love the man I married, we are not "companions" - we have different interests (see my comments on loneliness, above). We are more "mates" than man and wife.

Best of luck to you.

2006-12-02 21:13:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jgirl 2 · 1 0

It is the most fabulous thing that ever happened to me !!!!!!

I have the greatest person in my life and I tell him every day! He is treated like a king and in turn he treats me like a queen.

Everyone has ups and downs. We don't fight like I hear others do. We debate then agree that we disagree.

We talk to each other. If you can't talk to your spouse, why the hell be married! They should be your best friend, someone you are willing to die for to spare their life.

My marriage IS reality and I / we make it exactly what we want : HAPPINESS!

We all get to make choices every day within our own lives, why not choose to make things great!?!!

2006-12-02 04:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0 0

hello, I've been married twice. the first marriage was a nightmare. he went "hunting" often. never bringing home any game. found out he was having an affair. i was devastated. we divorced. several years later i remarried. i had ask GOD to send me someone compatible, that was sincere and that would love the children like his own that i already had. my prayers come true. it does take understanding, creativeness, partnership. and there will be up and downs where u misunderstand and get your feelings hurt. i still get excited when he comes home from work and i let him know that. i love being married. i wish i would have this kind of relationship the first time. we live we learn.

2006-12-02 04:19:09 · answer #11 · answered by REALLY 5 · 2 0

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