I left with our children(2) Sept.1,2005. He moved in with her the begining of April. He is an alcoholic and was never home. Mental abuse was nonstop.. Could not stay in a marrige with no love no affection nothing. He say's there is nothing wrong with him moving in with the back stabber I am devistated. Am I wrong?
2006-12-02 03:08:35 · 19 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
duuh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-02 03:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by butterfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about this for a moment please. First it is wrong for your best friend to do this to you. Clearly you need to evaluate who you call your best friend because she is not. As for hubby doing this. You all ready have indicated that he is abusive and an alcoholic. He is not thinking clearly which is no excuse just a cause. Instead of being devistated close this chapter and continue to do what you did when you left, move forward but stop looking back. Your best friend now has the trouble the abuse and sounds like it could not happen to someone more deserving. You are so better off without him. Good Luck and please turn your pain and upset into positive energy and move on in your life journey.
2006-12-02 03:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she has the abuser now, and don't think he will just become mr. wonderful, or that the abuse was just with u. don't be devistated about it, he abused u and hurt u. he sees not a thing wrong with his actions, he lacks insight into himself. u say he was never home, that he is an abuser, so why not move on and stop being upset that someone else has him now, as she hasn't got a thing here, and u didn't loose a thing. your hurt that he is with someone else and your thinking in your mind that she is enjoying the life that you so longed for, but in reality she won't get anything better than what u did. just be glad u now have a reason and a chance to move on and one day find someone who won't treat u like that, don't be jelous of her u should pity her since u know what he's like.
2006-12-02 10:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong to feel that he betrayed you, along with her. Perhaps this is the best thing for you and your children. You now know what kind of person that your best friend truly is, and from the sound of your question he was not a good husband to you. While I am not a supporter of divorce, if mental abuse and alcoholism were prevalent in your relationship, your children are better off that you are not together. But separating from him you are showing your children that abusing alcohol and your spouse is not acceptable. If you had continued the relationship then your children would have most likely repeated the pattern by either marrying someone like him or being like him themselves. What I suggest is that you move on, be the better person, and rebuild your life. That is the best revenge, do great things with the rest of your life. If you become obsessed with his situation or with the ex-best friend, you are giving them what they want. Based on the mental abuse, he does not want you to succeed in life or move on. Prove him wrong. This comes from someone who has been there. My best revenge on my ex-husband has been for me to live and move on, successfully and with grace.
2006-12-02 03:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sure it's wrong...your so called best friend or backstabber has some thing wrong with her to take in a abuser. She will go through the same thing with him it's a pattern. Try hard to move on from all this even though you have children with him stay stong and don't take his lies. Talk your way through this with family and maybe a good counselor. Forgive, forget move on and get a betta man honey.
2006-12-02 03:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by Sabreena B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are wrong for being devastated..You should get rid of both of them and be glad that you were able to see them for who they truly are. The good news is that she is paying herself back for being a terrible friend by punishing herself with him. Let her go through the crap that he was putting you through..sound's like good repayment to me! The Universe works in strange ways! Don't lower yourself to their level..I wouldn't give either of them the time of day! Pick yourself up from the whole situation and surround yourself with quality people who would never think of doing the kind's of things that they do. Meanwhile they can live in the misery and dysfunction that they have created for themselves.
2006-12-02 04:17:38 · answer #6 · answered by Just Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants him and dares mees up a married man regardless of the seperation, let her have him and his hell.
It's okay to be devistated. She was supposed to be your friend and you love him. Don't worry. On day you'll move on to something better. And one day once you have moved on and you bump into the losers it will be so sweet to see the look or jealousy on both their faces!
2006-12-02 03:16:58 · answer #7 · answered by bamagrits84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the worst when your left for the best friend or mother!
Why would you want a drunk, love less man in your bed anyways?
Well, it shows you, she wasn't your friend right? Be picky the next time your friend hunting. But it sounds like she's such a loser herself, she deserves him. You deserve better!! And so do the children.
2006-12-02 03:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this occured before you moved out, and you have to ask, then you have no business being married.
If this occured after you moved out, why the heck do you care what he does?
As for "Am I wrong?" Why does anyone ask strangers if it is okay to feel a particular way? You feel how you feel...nobody can tell you it's wrong for you to feel however you choose to feel...all they can say is if they think it is justified or not.
Are you justified in being upset? Sure...you lost your husband (whom I assume you loved at one time) and a friend.
2006-12-02 03:19:27 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
U silly *** u should be celebrating and happy as hell that she has to endure with ur leftovers who weren't good in the first place. Girl go with ur life and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Be happy for them they obviously deserve one another. He wasn't a great husband and she wasn't as good a friend as u thought she was. It looks like u win either way.
2006-12-02 03:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must be desperate! I'm sure you're hurting, but, face it ... he stopped being a husband a long time ago. Try to avoid contact with either of them. Go to Al-anon and move on with your life.
2006-12-02 03:46:12 · answer #11 · answered by Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋