2006-12-02 03:01:38 · 26 answers · asked by mdsparks 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
Sorry to hear about your mom, but any mother would want their child to enjoy the holidays. Be happy for everything else you have and be happy for others.
2006-12-02 03:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by elcidiv 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That is difficult and I am sorry for your loss. My mom passed the day before New Year's Eve 11 years ago this year and for many years my dad would get sad and angry right after Christmas.
May I suggest going to the Post Office web site or calling your local one to find out where they have the "Santa letters?" These are the letters that the kids send to Santa every year. The employees open them and sort them to find the kids who are very needy and won't have much of a Christmas without Santa's help. YOU could be their Santa. You could send some small gifts or go all out, even dressing up as Santa and delivering them. You'd be keeping yourself busy with a project and your mind off your sadness and you would be bringing joy to other, especially children. You can't help but having a little rub off on you. Good luck and take care.
2006-12-02 11:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We lost my mother on December 15, 2003. And you're right it is hard to find "joy". What you need is peace.
Don't pretend. It won't work. I found peace in my religion and family. Candlelight service till midnight Christmas Eve, I cried, I sang, I prayed, and I knew she and my father were together and that they were with me there. A huge solice but perhaps not yours.
Before and after the holiday, my husband was there for me to talk to, we laughed and cried together. Christmas day was quiet and full of remembering dinners at my parents home. My sibling and their families gathered for a dinner that in no way resembled those times. My mother would have laughed at us. We didn't feel like cooking and there weren't many restaurants open in our area, so we went to one that was, a Chinese Restaurant. There was an exchange of gifts, tears and humor. A sad time, but also a renewal. The kids were grown up and without parents, but we still had their teachings and love.
Three years later we're still trying to establish new traditions. We will each be celebrating Christmas with our own families, Thanksgiving was at my youngest sisters home, and next year we will have a summer gathering, and Thanksgiving at my youngest brothers home.
Take a deep breath, remember the past with love and look forward to the future with expectation. Keep your Mom in your heart and she will always be there.
2006-12-02 11:22:53 · answer #3 · answered by Wanda K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't pretend, I lost both of my folks in '92 and I know how it feels to not feel any joy at Christmas time but your mother would not want you to not celebrate the holiday just because she is no longer with you. I know that you have some understanding friends and other family members that know that this is going to be the hardest Christmas for you. The Christmas that I didn't have my folks my brother didn't want to even do the holiday but I told him that I knew that our parents would not want us not to celebrate the holiday and to go on living because if we didn't then the following year it would be all that much harder to do Christmas. In fact the first few years after they died I would get depressed in around Thanksgiving but I did get to a point that I could celebrate Christmas (and Thanksgiving) by myself. It will just take time, I'm sure that like I said your friends and other family members will let you celebrate with them so that you don't have to be alone for the first Christmas without your mom. Fortunately I had some good friends that considered me part of the family that were sweet and generous enough to include me in their Christmas celebration. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-02 13:11:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many condolences on you loss.
What I do when I feel I have hit rock bottom, and think there is no joy, or hope, I kick start myself. Being a "touch" bi-polar, there are times when mood-swings can affect me.
First and foremost, think about what your mom would do. What was the essence of your mom? Love? Giving? Kindness? Happiness?
Of course!! Now, to get joy, you must give joy. Honor your mother's memory by giving of yourself this season. Volunteer somewhere where gifts will be handed out to underprivileged and impoverished children. Chances are most of them will not be getting a gift other than the one given to them at that time.
The transformation of shyness and uncertainty into wide-eyed excitement and happiness is a gift in itself. Look at it through your mother's eyes. Open your mind and heart to the possibilities.
Oh, and allow yourself to be the biggest goofball you can whilst there.
2006-12-02 11:17:48 · answer #5 · answered by raydeeo_face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cared for my mom for ten yrs before she passed away. My holidays revolved around my mom and my kids. When she passed away,i was lost,angry,sad and also relieved that her pain was over and when I realized that she was with God in Heaven,I had to thank god and be happy for her that she was not only not suffering anymore,but she was going to be beside our lord and be happy again like when she was young. Then I could get on with my life. I don't know if you are a believer or not,but I am and I found that God helped me keep my sanity. So,remember that Christmas is the celebration of the Lords Birthday and he deserves the best day ever and he loves you and wants you to do the same. I just know that. It keeps me at peace. God Bless you and i hope this helped you. You have a blessed Merry Christmas!!!!
2006-12-02 11:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by Shortydeb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa - so sorry for your loss and loss of Xmas joy for your fun season. I understand, I lost my dad this year.
Many people will tell you to "fake it til you make it" but that's hard to do when you're mourning. Do what you can. That is all you can do.
I'm sure you've heard that saying "Time heals all wounds". It does. It will take time for this pain to pass, but it will. Soon your memories will bring a smile to your face.
If you can deal at all, try going out and buying or making presents for those you really care about. Giving truly helps bring the holiday spirit on.
Since I don't know how old you are - its hard to give advice about the best thing to do this season to alleviate your grief and bring you into the Xmas spirit.
If your mom was older, you may want to help out at a senior center during the holidays. There are so many "moms and dads" whose families have forgotten them. They are so lonely and depressed during this season, too. They'd love a "kid" to hang with for the holidays!
And of course, the Xmas lights and trees are a big help for bringing your spirits up.
If its just too painful for you to think about this family holiday, anyone who loves you should understand what you are dealing with. This is a bad time of year for so many.
I'm not trying to be trite, but: Try to count the blessings you do have and I hope your pain leaves you soon.
2006-12-02 11:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by kc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that your mom passed away. Been there done that B\but with a son h was 15 month old he passed Dec. 24 1989.
Ask yourself if your mother would like you to let her passing spoil Christmas.Think of all the good years you all had together.I know it is hard to do. But put on a Small and do your best.
2006-12-02 11:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by david o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! You should remember all the joy your mom brought to the holiday! Would your mom really want you to pretend? The first year my mom was gone, I placed a dove on my tree in memory of her and each year, that's the first thing I do to my tree - put the dove on and quietly tell her how much I love her and miss her. The first few years are hard, but continue to cherish your memories!
2006-12-02 11:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by MHB 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry for your loss,I lost my mom the same time last year,and My brotherdied in a rest home fire last week here in missouri.The best way to keep the joy in your life is to know that where she is it is a better place where there is no pain.And know that although she is not there in body she is in spirit.Merry Christmas
Grax
2006-12-02 11:11:15 · answer #10 · answered by yeerkette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way to get back into the spirit of Christmas after a loss is to remember the good times you both had. Remember its the Spirit and that is what your mom is right now and she is with you. Happy Holidays to you and your mother!
2006-12-02 11:10:32 · answer #11 · answered by c0mplicated_s0ul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋