This is insane! We have been married for two years. Recently... over the last two months our sex life is cutt down to once a month now... if I am lucky. I have confronted him with this and he is stating that he doesnt have a sex drive. He even got mad at me and said, " Is all you care about is sex?" As a woman... that makes me feel so damn low. He says that I dont make him feel like a man. I am 9 mos pregnant and he is out of work... and yeah stress may play a part of this... but he isnt so stressed that he doesnt enjoy all the activities that he used to. What happened is that I told him I was tired of doing all the work in bed. I told him that I was tired of giving the oral sex, and being the one on top, and having to get myself off. I have never had oral sex from this man... and NO ... I am not unclean or unshaven. When we do have sex... he can hardly hold back. So what in the hell is wrong? He swears to God he isnt masterbating... and I know he isnt cheating and no PORN! WTF?
2006-12-02 02:56:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anna Q 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fatigue, stress at work, loss of libido, etc...
Give the guy a break for cryin' out loud.
2006-12-02 02:58:10 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he were masterbating he would be able to hold back during sex with you. As for no oral given to you only him, he sounds to be a man in bed that has it wrong. He may think it is all about his pleasure, which is an issue in itself. Both should be willing to please the other in bed. As for not wanting sex with you now maybe it is the pregnancy that has him turned around. While most men think pregnant ladies are all that maybe he thinks opposite. As for the cheating I do not want to burst your bubble but how would anyone know 100% that their spouse is not cheating. I am married 27 years and while I can say I do not think he has, I could not stake my life on that. If talking to him does not work strongly I would suggest getting professional help. There is an issue here that is clear. See if things go back to normal after your pregnancy and if not consider options such as professional help
2006-12-02 11:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is full of you know what! Most men not all men actually become MORE attracted to pregnant women, he may not be but I don't think that is the problem. He may be depressed or whatever the other people say but that's not a good excuse to deny your wife, especially, if he's not working because he really doesn't have anything better to do. You need to watch his actions and WHO he does his "other or normal activities" with. I smell a cheater just because you can't tell from the surface doesn't mean that it is not going on. Also if he used to be a tomcat and now he's a kitten, it's not because of low sex drive, he had enough drive to get you pregnant. If he can't meet you half way on ALL sexual activities you two need to seriously talk about that because no sex should not be the foundation of your marriage but it makes up a BIG part. Good luck
2006-12-02 11:17:39 · answer #3 · answered by mrsj721 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Coming from a male, I can tell you that stress can play a MAJOR role in his libido. There is probably so much on his mind (about to have a baby in the house, no job, how will he support his family, etc) that his drive is shot.
What other activities is he still doing that he is enjoying? Playing video games? Or something else? If it's games, he actually might not be enjoying them, but it's rather a way from him to escape from the reality of what's going on, even if it's for a couple hours. He needs a jump start from the sounds of it. He needs to quit doing "other" activities that he enjoys and concentrate solely on getting a job to support his family. You can't make him "fell like a man" if he isn't acting like one.
2006-12-02 11:06:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just has a low sex drive. The only advice I can give is find out what makes him hard, may be a fetish or something and do that. Try getting a porno, or take him to a strip joint, or play games. Read and try everything until you find what makes him horny, if nothing works then he has a very low sex drive and you will a problem.
2006-12-02 12:03:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once I had a dream that I was married to a woman who craved sex as much as myself.
Did I say crave? Actually I mean who enjoyed sex equally as much as I do...
I too am in a similar situation... I'm with a woman who only wants sex about once a month.
It's kind of funny since she's pretty much an attention whore, can't keep her eyes off other men, etc.
She's overweight and I'm fit as a fiddle (in construction.)
lol
Anyway... The guy doesn't know what he's MISSING!
2006-12-02 11:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shattered his manlyhood by bitching about doing all the work.
Now, of course he has no drive. Why would he even want to try if you already bitched about it?
Stress can be a small part yes. May be your being so far along in your pregnancy doesn't turn him on either. It doesn't all men.
Wait tell the baby is born. Try masterbateing in the mean time.
Give him some time, or go to him yourself and give him ideas on how you 2 can find the spice your lacking. But also watch your mouth! You hurt his feelings!
2006-12-02 11:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the pregnant thing may have something to do with it. sometimes the woman's sex drive is incredibly high while the man's gets lower, instead of the usual being the other way around.
he does sound kinda selfish in bed though.
i would wait until you have the baby and see what happens after you get into a normal routine. maybe things will get better, if not, maybe he should see a doctor.
2006-12-02 11:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always remember ur beautiful, ur 9mos pregnant and glowing! Maybe since u r 9mos pregnant is the reason why his libido went down? What was his libido b4? Was he wanting it all the time? I agree with u on the point that u shouldnt be doing all the work in bed, and u have to masturbate all the time to get urself off? Its great that u told him that, and i hope he heard what u were saying. Good luck..
2006-12-02 11:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by snowbunny67ss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he doesn't find u attractive anymore.. try changing something in the way u look or even at home, maybe the bed or try some candles and chocolates before going to bed.. it happens sometimes so just relax and give him space.. u never know it might be his work that is stressing him out, so when he comes back home try to make him relax instead of making him more tense
2006-12-02 11:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by Foxy Lady 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is masturbating first of all. Secondly, some men don't want to have sex with pregnant women. I was like this when my ex was preggy. It wasn't her body. I can't explain it. It just didn't seem right to pound it out when a child was so close.
2006-12-02 11:06:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋