My husband is a pot head. He has been since we met in 1999. I never cared about this when we where teenagers but now I find it immature, selfish, and extremely sickening. I love him dearly and just want him to stop. He doesn't want to stop though. I don't allow him around me or the children with it, but it still bothers me. I just want him to stop. I know that if I just keep praying God will take this addiction away from my husband. Have you ever dealt with something like this? How do I love him withou being hateful about this? I married him this way but now I want to leave him over it. How should I approach the suject to let him know that he has got to stop of I am going to leave him? He says I'm nagging him just about every time I talk to him, but I don't see it that way. Should I go to counseling by myself? Should I force him to decide? How can I help his see how wrong this is before I lose my family?
2006-12-02 02:43:19 · 11 answers · asked by bamagrits84 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I lived with an alcoholic husband for 3 years. Like you I always prayed that God would take the addiction away. Finally, my husband saw what he was doing, and has been sober for 4 months now. Check out "The Power of the Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. It really helped. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
2006-12-02 02:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My feelings on it is YES, he could get in trouble w/ the law because it is illegal. That's probably the only thing that would REALLY bothre me. It also can make a person VERY unmotivated. I know you know what I mean. All in all, if he is going to have a bad habit, I think I would go for accepting the pot, rather than alcohol or smoking ciggs or any other drugs. As long as he doesn't do it around the children and he does INTERACT w/ them and you, I say encourage him to cut down or stop. Nagging will make matters worse. You did marry him like this and the pot probably chills him out for YOU on a hard day at work. Ya know? Just tell him that you are going to trust that he can control this addiction and you have faith that he will not be doing this forever. Don't leave your husband because of this habit.
2006-12-02 03:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by truebeing3030 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow!! have you grown to be better than your husband all of a sudden?
you call him an addict and then say "you dont allow him around you or the kids when he smokes". if he was an addict to the point you are trying to make it sound you would not have a choice, where he was or who he is around!! maybe he respects you and the kids enough that he does not do it around you.
you had this knowledge before marrying him and having kids with him, just because you make changes or your beliefs change in your life and he does not agree that does not mean he does not love you.
look if he is beating you or the kids,does not have a job, blows all the bill and food money for his pot,do something now!!
otherwise dont be so self righteous!! your kids will never find out unless you tell them. oh by the way if they are not in school when they do go, they will know more about it than you.
yeah so throw your life away and let your kids be fatherless because of a joint or two....i mean i am sure you did not promise in sickness and in health when you married did you?.....(pot? sickness or health many beliefs in the spirit world include a little earth grown substance)
2006-12-02 03:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by sapachedog 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt have married someone hoping to change them later. Pot does keep you kind of immature, or maybe those people who are immature keep smoking pot. Either way, you should tell him that if it lands him in jail you will pack up the kids and leave him. I assume he has a job that allows him to be able to smoke, so you shouldnt complain about that. You do know that pot isnt phycially addicting, so he is doing it cause he likes it. I think that you should chill out about it, it could be worse he could be a drunk and come home and beat you and the kids everynight.
2006-12-02 02:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by rand a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself lived with an addict, but it was worse, he was a meth addict and I learned from him they will only quit if they want to quit, you or nothing else can stop him, not even threatening to leave him, I did the same thing and then he just snuck around behind my back. Good Luck to you!! We are no longer together and have two children!
2006-12-02 02:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by LORI M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was once involved with a man who was addicted to coke, thought i could change him, thought i could make a difference. he did finally get off the coke, but than became a pot smoker and alcoholic, as the years passed i began to respect him less and less, there was absolutely nothing i could do he made alot of promises, but continued. our relationship finally ended and he went his way i went mine, years later i wanted to see how he was doing, so i got in touch with his brother, the news was shocking, apparently he did of a drug overdose years before. no matter what he couldn't change and brought other drug abusers and alcoholics into our home, and that put me very ill at ease because i wasn't like that and never would be.
2006-12-02 10:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i was the addict for many years! and i know it can be hard...i too felt as though anyones words of advise ...were just nagging. i also went through the drinking thing and no matter how many people i hurt along the way. the desire had to come from within myself to give it all up. not someone else's
2006-12-02 02:46:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I bet you thought he'd change, didn't you? He didn't, did he? Addiction is like that. You must accept that his addiction is more powerful than you are. It's more powerful than he is, too. I don't know whether you should stay or go, but I would suggest that you get couseling for yourself and go to An-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings. This is a tough situation and you will need real support from people who understand. Good luck.
2006-12-02 12:00:00 · answer #8 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married him knowing he had a problem, therefore it is up to you to tolerate it. He will only stop when HE is ready to stop, and no amount of nagging will hurry this along. Be thankful that it's just marijuana and not cocaine, heroine or meth.
2006-12-02 02:50:27 · answer #9 · answered by T Time 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
been there. my guy had it bad with coke. first yes you need counsleing. then you have to do some soul searching.is this the way you want to live? your kids to live? they will find out even though he dosent do it around them. do you want the kids to grow up thinking this is ok?? i finally had to leave(but my situation was also abusive) You must find the strength in yourself, then give him a choice.
2006-12-02 02:49:18 · answer #10 · answered by thepainter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋