OK, so Im 16, but I am not that big into those heavy teenage relationships. I dont have the time to devote to being flirty and all that because im trying to focus on school.....but here is my current situation that im baffled with:
My close friend had been dating a guy for about 2 years, but they broke up this summer on really bad terms (she kinda left him for another guy). The guy and I started to get to know each other more, but he and my friend continued to argue and have spats all the time. I had to try and play the neutral person for soooo long. But, I started to begin to think that I may have more of "something" with him than I thought...and I think he may have feelings for me as well. I dont know what to do.....because she hurt him so much that I think he needs someone, but she is my friend and I dont want to hurt her. HELP!!!!
2006-12-02 02:40:49 · 19 answers · asked by BetsyJ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
OK, so you're involved in personal relationships now with two people who are important to you, and you don't want anybody to get hurt. Here's the scoop on your question.
1. Feelings are neither good or bad, they just are.
2. So you have no reason for guilt about anything--you didn't cause their breakup.
3.You "started to begin to think" Not true. You "started to get to know each other more" and you were "the neutral person for sooooo long" None of this is bad, but recognize it for what it is.
HERE IS THE BOTTOM LINE!! You say she left him for another guy " Well, sorry sister! You didn't want him and you have no right to dictate to either him or me what we do or who we see." If your friend can live with that , fine. Otherwise, you may have to decide between them-------but I'll tell you what, I would not be too inclined to choose the person that forced me into making a choice.
2006-12-02 07:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by JIMBO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-05 19:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't be hurting her by going out with the guy that SHE broke up with. Don't be someone he can just fall back on when he gets lonely though; make sure that if he needs someone, that someone is you. However, he may not be 100% over her, which is also why you need to make sure he's not missing what he and your friend used to have.
Good luck :)
EDIT: If she truly values the friendship that you and her share, she won't care who you date, be it one of her exes or someone new. Real friendship is not just skin deep, and it shouldn't take a boy, ex or otherwise, to break it. If she gets annoyed and upset about it, she's probably not worth having as a friend.
2006-12-02 16:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by Astrid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
Unless this is like the love of your life - stay away. Dating a friend's ex is guaranteed to cause drama. Especially if it was a bad break-up. Chances are you'll lose your friend if you date this guy. Of course there is the small chance that she'd like him to find someone new, so she could stop feeling guilty for leaving him for someone else, and in that case she might give you her blessing, but there would still be issues.
2006-12-02 02:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
her being a close friend it would probably not be a good idea to date him. you could ask her how she feels about it because even if she broke up with him it could still hurt her because you are her friend and she probably confided in you about their relationship. Now if they didn't date very long it would probably be a different story. For now be his friend, but try not to hurt your friend in the process because guys usually come and go at this age and this defiantly sounds like a teen drama to come that you are trying to avoid!
2006-12-02 06:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by tab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's usually considered bad manners to date your best friend's ex. Especially when they were dating for over a year ... if they had just gone on one date it would be different.
He might have feelings for you, or he might not. Are you willing to risk that? Are you willing to risk losing your friend?
You have to ask yourself which you want more. If you ask him how he feels and try to date him, and she finds out about this, she will probably drop you. On the other hand, if you want to stay her friend it would do a lot of damage to keep developing these feelings.
So you have to decide which is more important to you, or you'll end up with neither.
2006-12-02 02:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i've been in this situation also but my EX-best friend was dating this guy for a month and they broke up about 4 months later me and her ex broke up and shes totally jealous still and me and him have been together for almost 6 months BUT now shes going around saying shes PREG. by MY boyfriend so were no longer friends
but if she broke up with him i don't see how it would hurt her just talk to her and be like "would you be mad if i go out with so and so ?" if she says no then there you go but if she says she'd be upset then i wouldn't
2006-12-02 06:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your friend first and talk to her about therelationship before they broke up nd ask her if she would be upset if you went out with him. shell prbbly say no bcaz they fight alot and everything and you can ask them to ssay sorry and maybe get along. Just remember most friends are forever and some guys are whatever
2006-12-02 07:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, if she dumped him, hes pretty much single, so its ok. dont look at him as ur friend's ex-bf, but as someone u really want to get close to. wats wrong with going out with him if she doesnt even like him anymore? tell her to move on with her life!
2006-12-02 08:49:49 · answer #9 · answered by Kel Kel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your friend how u feel about him. Then ask her if she would be hurt if u dated him. If she is really your friend she wouldn't stop u from loving him.
2006-12-02 05:41:20 · answer #10 · answered by ChrisBrownBabyGirl93 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋