I am married to a wonderful man...been married to him for 9 years. Just recently I found an ex boyfriend on myspace. He and I never dated....but we kissed in school 20 years ago. He wanted to have sex and I didnt...so he started seeing someone else without breaking up with me....anyway......now that we found one another on there......it has stirred all them feelings I had for him all these years ago........he even tells me that I am what he has been looking for in a women. He knows I am married and he doesnt want me to cheat on my husband.....well he knows I wouldnt....but these thoughts are in my head....I think they are there because we really had no closure......I dont know if I am inlove with him....or this emotion I feel is just excitement because I found him after all these years......but I have thoughts of us together.....but I feel like I am happy with my husband at the same time. Please tell me what you think......serious people please..
2006-12-02 02:29:10 · 21 answers · asked by kim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seen this movie, be careful how it ends.
Here's the deal...some pimple faced guy liked you in high school, he wanted sex, you thought with your brain and not your pants and said no. Now you've got someone you love and are dedicated to for several years but Mr. High School has found you (or vice versa).
Just know that he (your ex)is telling you what you want to hear. Of COURSE he's going to SAY "no, don't cheat on your husband," but by telling you that you're "everything he's looking for in a woman"...he's playing both sides of the fence...playing on your emotions.
You know, Garth Brooks wrote a song...Unanswered Prayers...I suggest you listen to it, carefully.
Best to leave this one in your fantasy bank, and leave well enough alone.
Good luck. I know this decision is a hard one for you.
2006-12-02 02:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that you are happy because you found someone that you haven't heard from in a while and it is exciting but I'm going to be honest with you because you are a grown woman. If another man is putting ideas in your head about doing things that don't involve your husband you should terminate the friendship. regardless if you feel that you will not act on those thoughts obviously this other guy is in your head and that's bad enough. You are married to your husband for a reason and this just feels good because its new and different. Since this has gotten you excited you should try new things with your husband to get that thrill from him. Ask yourself this, if the situation was switched and it was your husband who has found and ex and is having thoughts about being with her and he don't know if he will act on them. How would you feel? And if you were just honest with yourself which i hope you were you would be angry.You know what needs to be done. Unless you were married nine years to the wrong person and this guy is worth jeopardizing it all on.
Good Luck
2006-12-02 10:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by trice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your blind! There was "closure" the closure was when he cheated on you because you wouldn't put out!!
Instead of fantasizing about this man, you should be bragging about what a great man you do have and shove that down his throat!!
things that happened 20 years ago, fine, but why would you think they'd be the same? This guy probably has a wife or few, or a gf and because he's still a horn dawg, he's going to seek out what he couldn't have then, and see if he can get it now.
Your wise, so start showing it.
2006-12-02 10:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone remembers that special someone from back in their younger days (high school) and usually has some fond feelings or memories to draw from. But that was then, this is now. You shouldn't give in to the excitement you're feeling about coming across this ex of yours and leave it at what it's been since you broke up back then, nothing. Be happy with your hubby, as you say you are and don't do anything that would jeopardize your marriage/love.
2006-12-02 10:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, You're normal.
Believe it or not, there is no magic after someone gets married that makes everyone on the planet unattractive. In fact, you may actually run into someone that is MORE attractive than your spouse. This is where the "commitment" part of marriage kicks in. If everything is good and happy, honor your marriage.
I have a "special" friend like that and we have a mutual understanding that we have already chosen our path and to this day we are best friends.
2006-12-02 10:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is quite natural to have thoughts about him because you never really ended on a bad note, obviously your not in love with him because you adore you husband, it think it is excitement cmon, 20 years ago, that hot guy that you crushed on, your feelings grew and then it disappered and you found him again! you are bound to think what will happen, just dont do anything radical, a simple dinner with the old friend will be nice, and tell your husband about him, less confusion
2006-12-02 10:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by smile_a_lot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eI think its just the excitement of something new combined with the prospect of someone showing intrest that once left you wounded. Whenever you feel this way, take a deep breath and think of how much you love your husband and how you would never want to hurt him as you were hurt. I, personally, would tell my husband about this person. If he happen to stumble on to something between the two of you online, he could become suspicous without cause.
2006-12-02 10:47:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both in love with who you were 20 years ago, not with who you are now. Just because you never had a big fight when you broke up, doesn't mean you didn't break up. You wanted different things at that time so you went your separate ways. That's a peaceful split, but a parting is what it is, not not what you see on TV.
2006-12-02 10:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grow up! I assure you the grass is rarely greener. Count your blessings and stop all contact with this guy. You're playing with fire. How many women can say they're happily married to a wonderful man?
2006-12-02 12:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by Sally 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Discuss the dilemna with your Husband..Tell your husband you need closure on this whole thng and you would like to go out with this guy..Meet him for real and see how much he has changed..Get you husbands blessing, and with any luck your husband will let you have sex eith this guy too...If he tells ou to go for it it means he truly loves you and gives you total freedom being wise enough to know he does not and will not ever own YOU.
2006-12-02 10:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by ray b 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋