I regularily flirt with a woman at work; via email, face to face, through people second hand, complimenting each other etc and I am quite confident that there is a mutual attraction.
Although, she has a partner of 9 years! I sometimes feel very guilty of that fact, but then I think 'well, flirting is harmless, we havent really done anything!'.
any thoughts?
2006-12-02 01:52:26 · 28 answers · asked by mrben 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't think a long term flirtation is smart if you aren't planning on going somewhere with it. And if either party is in a relationship, going somewhere with it means either betraying or breaking up with their significant other. How would you feel if your SO of 9 years was engaging in this particular brand of flirtation? Also, if she hits a bad patch in her relationship and turns to you and you and her have an affair, and then she decides to stay with the person she's with now, how is that going to play out? Then she may be uncomfortable around you from then on. Maybe even resent you for it. People aren't always rational in matters of the heart. Or what if you develop real feelings for her? Will you try to get her to leave her lover? Then, saying you do get together later on, will she have some flirtation with another guy like the one she's having with you now? Would that be OK with you? Would you always suspect she might be flirting? And won't she wonder the same about you? I think that you are playing with fire.
2006-12-02 02:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by Karen 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Flirtation is the spice of life. Especially in the workplace - I think it eases tension and adds a little zest to an often drab environment. So long as it stays a bit of a giggle then I think it is harmless- and very common. We all need a bit of an ego boost, I think flirting can serve that role, and might even prevent a person looking for excitement in more serious terms. Enjoy the buzz - her partner is probably flirty too.
2006-12-02 14:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by Peace 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Flirting can be seen as a means to attract someone. In view of this, flirting is totally unnecessary if the person doing the flirting is already in a relationship - in which case the flirting may be caused by feelings of insecurity (the person needs constant affirmation that they are still wanted).
Its worse when a committed person flirts with a single person, as the single person may be building false hopes. Another reason to discourage flirting.
Its okay for a single person to do the flirting though....
2006-12-03 14:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by nemesis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts are twofold. One, flirting is harmless and healthy. Second, I would not flirt at work.
I think that flirting is fine. It is healthy to express desire and to feel that you are attractive. It is a positive thing for healthy people to feel wanted. It is a pleasure that helps make life worth living. I have flirted with married women (although never slept with them). Married owmen have flirted with me and it ok.
As for work, too many women out there are viscious and just want to file sexual harassment lawsuits. The sexual harassment deal came from women who did not like less desirable men flirting with them. Notice though they will often sleep with the boss or some studly guy at work. The point is that women know it is a way to stir the pot and get something financial or power out of the deal. If women want to be treated as one of the guys at work, then by all means treat them like you would a man. If you give in to them, they may use it against you. Flirt with women outside of work.
2006-12-02 10:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by James 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I flirt all the time with the girls in the office - and they flirt with me - it's just the way we go on at work. Everyone knows it's completely harmless and everyone enjoys it as it's meant - just harmless fun.
I've been happily married for the past 13 years, and most (if not all) of the office girls are married or in long term relationships.
2006-12-02 10:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by Phlodgeybodge 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is flirting harmless?.I don`t think so,if this person has been living with someone for nine years.I think she is the one making a mistake by flirting with you.However;once she gets emotionally attached to you,and you don`t do anything to take the next step.Things can get very ugly! it has happened to me on two different accasions.My advise make sure you know what you both want and when in doubt just try to keep the relationship to.STRICTLY BUSINESS.Good luck.
2006-12-02 10:09:36 · answer #6 · answered by Gremlin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How far do you want the flirtation to go? True, if it goes no further than what you're doing and it doesn't cause a riff of any kind at work, you've done nothing. If it costs her the 9 yrs. with her partner and they didn't want to go their separate ways, you've created a problem--a problem that, once the tear begins, the rip often becomes larger and is irrepairable. Food for thought.
2006-12-02 09:59:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Flirtation IS harmless, Taking it further than flirtation Could prove to be harmful (especially if she is a bunny boiler)
also if you know that the other party has a partner (or even if you do) you can cause serious problems, for them and yourself.
you could end up in a captain kirk duel style to the death.
2006-12-02 10:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by bluegreenash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for asking the question - I'm in a similar situation with a guy at work, however I think we both know that nothing is ever going to happen. So in that respect I think it is harmless.
2006-12-02 09:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Kirsty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on your intention.
If you dont intend to do no more than have a flirty banter between you then it is probably ok.
You may actually want or desire this flirting to go a step further and then that would be wrong.
Check your intentions and why you are doing this
2006-12-02 12:53:54 · answer #10 · answered by The Doctor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋