Men and women what would u do in this situation?

Question

I started suspecting something was going on with my wife a few months back because of the things she was doing with her cell phone. I looked thru her phone several times and notice this guy Jose she is always talking to but these calls are never when im around. I notice in the history on the cpu she has been here on yahoo answers under the name Gatita de Jose. I searched all the questions and answers she responded to and in the answers confesses to be in love with another man (Jose). One of her questions was Why am I in love with another womans husband. I went ballistic when i saw this she was stll at work so i did what i felt was right and left the house because i felt I would have hurt her physically if i stayed. She claims she was just messing around seeing what kind of response she would get, but im no fool, U dont write things like that unless u have thought of them or they are true. With that being said i still love her and want to forgive her but im still so hurt. What to do?

Answer 1

First of all you need to decide if you want to continue in your marriage. If so, the two of you should attend couple's counseling- and possibly by yourselves. I know it's a huge investment of time and resources, but necessary to resolve your marital issues in a controlled environment. The counseling is not a guarantee in saving your marriage- it may bring to light for one or both of you that you do not wish to continue in the marriage.
Best Wishes!

Answer 2

You can't forgive what you are not sure of. Sounds like she needs to fess up to something before she can be forgiven. Also sounds like she is playing games with you. You don't post crap like that cause you "want to get a response"!! Sorry but you need to be a lil more firm in searching for answers. Give her an ultimatum or something. Tell her if she loves someone else, she needs to leave!! That might get the fire started and help you get ot the bottom of this.

Answer 3

The truth never hurts. Tell her (speak) that you are hurt to the core of your being. Forgive. The consequence of crossing the line again will be grounds for leaving. Make her realize that she is in the big league now, and she has some changes to make (growing up inside). She is not aware yet of how hearts work or what they need, or else she is lying about the messing around answer.

Answer 4

As long as you realize you can never go back to where you two were as a couple again, you're doing okay. If you feel the need to take her back, realize that her cheating was the sign of something far more deep-seated than sexual promiscuity...she's got issues you obviously knew nothing about when you married her. Talk to her and make her realize that you love her but have a completely different viewpoint of married life; and if she's willing to change her way of viewing things to accomodate your ideals, you'd like to try again. Unfortunately, my friend, people rarely change; it's just who she is, love her like that, or leave her...for your own sanity!

Answer 5

well....if you suspect that she's up to something go with your gut instinct....however, snooping through her phone is a bit rude, but if you want peace of mind then maybe that was the right thing to do....i have not seen any posts made by her, maybe i missed them...don't hurt her physically, i know your upset and angry but hitting her is wrong....you have to prove 100% that she's cheating before you make any harsh moves....catch her out bare faced first...don't just go by how long she was on the phone to this guy....if this turns out to be true and she is playing away...then leave her and make a life for yourself...i know what it feels like to have doubts and the feeling is cutting...try to stay calm and deal with this in an adult way...what ever you do...DO NOT hit her, you could end up behind bars

Answer 6

You need to be sure,and try to investigate well.If she is cheating on you,then is up to you what you will do.And It was good idea left the house,instead to hurt her physically. Never is even good idea to think in hurt a woman.Investigate well that is the first step to do.Talk with her,ask her explain to you,telling you the truth.Good luck.

Answer 7

Ok your hurt and you need help. You should definately go to counseling. She is cheating on you. Every proof matches up. Let her know how you are feeling.

Answer 8

Well, this can be complicated. If you think she is cheating in your heart, then she probably is. I would get proof though before i made any drastic changes such as divorce or leaving her. But please calm down before you do anything, cause when you are angry and rightfully so it seems, then you cannot make the best decisions. But i guess you already knew this cause u left the house, so you are controlling yourself. Anyway, my fiance did this to me. He is really nosy and sneaky, and when i met him, i told him my parents were divorced and my dad was in prison for drunk driving. I did not care if he knew, and the one day he told me that he and his parents were on the internet looking for prison information on my father and they saw his mugshot picture and he looks just like me (cause they had never seen him before) and i was pissed off beyond belief. I was angry that they thought they had to snoop around and do stuff behind my back, even after i had been with my fiance for so long. They said that they did not want me to get mad because it is a sensitive subject to me, but only when they make a big deal out of it and keep bringing it up, then it makes me mad, and i was even more mad that they had to snoop around on me and were not going to tell me, until i asked them how they knew i looked like my dad, then they spilled it. Also, my mother is single and 50 and trying online dating. I was online one time and all these profiles of women came up and all these dating sites and i asked my fiance. He said he did it to piss me off cause he wanted to know if i would keep tabs on him. I mean hundreds of sites and i just went online to check my email and they history always auto pops up. Then i was like you do this and want me to find out about it and then get mad when i do. Then he said he was lying about that and he was really keeping tabs on my mothers dating website but was afraid to tell me he was looking for my mother because he thought i would get mad. I told him, once again that i only get mad when he rubs it in that she is a ***** and divorced, etc. I said look for her all you want, but get your story straight and stop lying to me. So you never know, your wife could be up to something else or maybe she is living in another world, but whatever the case, good luck with this, and if she is cheating on you, i would kick her as$ out!

Answer 9

You have to find out the truth if not the doubts will always be in the back of your mind

Answer 10

Once a cheat, always a cheat, cut your losses now and move on to someone who will really love you and cherish you. oh yeah, and she WILL do this to the next person she is with too!!