i am not a feminist....and this question may not be very true in more liberal countries.....i think it's more applicable to conservative societies.....you know all those ads about being proud to be a virgin.....i know it may carry a message to prevent unwanted pregnancies, stds and all those......but somehow underlying it is about virginity....well, somehow i am nt too agreeable with all these celebrations of virginity...i am not saying that ppl should sleep around and...but i think the status of virginity is just overly emphasised....especially for women, esp in conservative societies.....i mean it's no biggie if a girl is a virgin or not....and i dun think it's wrong to lose it b4 marriage, it's just human's need if u know wot i mean......it shouldnt be an issue in the 1st place.....n when they say 'man would only marry a virgin', it's crap right, it's like woman is nothing but all about her virginity.....
what u guys think? especially those from conservative backgrnd....
2006-12-02 01:03:00 · 16 answers · asked by guedisg 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ok...here is how a guy thinks... All man want a virgin for their wife... no matter what they say with their mouth...dont be fooled...in their heart, they want her to be a virgin ... why... because that is the last gift that a woman can give before she became his... He knows for a fact that she is truly giving herself to him... a gift that is exciting and unopened... Guys may lust and have sex with other woman and so off....but when he comes to the crunch where he must have a wife... he will opt for that virgin...ishe is untouched and pure... he could love and teach her...
so he loves you and he knows it is wrong to think the way you describe... so he tells himself...that he shouldnt think that way.... and then marries you... now at the back of his mind.... everytime he sees you and have sex with you...there is this voice that says that another man has touched you...you are not pure any longer and unclean... there mifght be disease and aids and the thought of another man touching you kills him..... he pushes the thought back and fights with it... he wins because he decided that he loves you and that shouldnt be a problem.... but when he sees you talking friendly with a guy ....that jealousy arises in him... it hurts him.. h says its nonenses ... kills that jealousy... and overcome that hurt... so you think that he is open minded...he is ok... he looks ok.... he understands...but deep in him there is a battle raging on to kill those thoughts and feelings.... everything seems ok... until one day both of you have an arguement.... and it blows up... issues start pouring out...and everything that was kept inside exploded... and you get a shock because you never knew.... then further more many hurtful things are said...not because he dun love you but because he said it in anger... during those times self control is absent... so you get hurt.... and things said in anger will take years to heal.... so both of you say... irreconcilibe differences and obtain a divorce...
so there are people who are straigh forwrd and just say..."i will only marry a virgin" while there are others who are trying to b magnamious... and yet others who are just trying to bed you...
So if you are in a position somewhat like this... i would suggest the lady be sensiive and keep assuring the guy... what the guy is paranoid about is not knowing what the girl thinks.... is she really sleeping with me or is her mind on her ex.... am i as good as her ex on bed... etc etc.. heres the secret ... appreciation.... men loves appreciation... it can bring you a long long way in a relationship
hope this helps
2006-12-02 01:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by seapc_laos 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Maybe 50 years ago. Today it's not really important. It's sexist to place more importance on a woman's virginity than a man's. We should have just as much sexual freedom as men. But those double standards are still alive today. If a woman has sex with say four guys in a month and she's looked down on and called a sl*t. If a guy does the same thing he's patted on the back and called a stud.
2006-12-02 20:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That whole virgin til you're married thing only works if the guy is a church every time the doors are open kind of guy who wants it that way too. If you are a normal girl hooking up with a normal guy he'll dump your as* before he waits to get married. Seriously, it's just not practical.
As far as other societies besides the US, there are some countries that still mutilate girls genitals to make them marriagable, so the whole thing is just uneducated people who don't understand the way things really work. It will take them a long time before they wake up and smell reality.
2006-12-02 09:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by Reject187 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Im a Conservative and virginity has nothing to do with a woman's worth that buisness really does not have to be told to anyone it is just good for elders to know that they dont have to worry thats all it does not make or break a females reputation as long as she is not having alot of sex that the whole town knows about viriginity is not a big deal at least not around me
2006-12-02 10:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by Mysolitude 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is highly unfair of men to expect their prospective wives to come to them as virgins when they are not virgins. How is it fair to make some other girl "damaged goods" by having sex with her, but he is not considered "damaged himself?"
BTW, why did you start with "I'm not a feminist." There is nothing wrong with being a feminist. We are not the bra burning, man haters the media likes to portray us as. For the most part we just want to make society a better place for everyone no matter their gender, race, class, religion, or sexuality.
2006-12-02 10:13:34 · answer #5 · answered by Laoshu Laoshi 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi guedisg, I am from India where religion,culture,traditions are born and have spread to whole East asia.Our culture says that An individual should have total control over his actions, thoughts,mind,body. So a man who could not control his mind and these sexual urge is not worth to be called "Human Being" ok and you know the biggest difference between animals and Humans are the ability to control mind and sexual urge.
So obviously if a man or woman has total control over her sexual urge she is more that a Great woman or she will be given more repect and will be loved more than other type woman. So controlling ones mind or sexual urge is indeed a great thing.
Then Humans have created an institution called Marriage, to distinguish Humans from Animals, in what way is that animals will indiscriminately mate whenever they are sexually urged and there is no limit for the number of mates they mate.
Coming to Humans if we also have sex with all the people then what is the difference, either it is not controlled procedure or respectable one.
If a woman has never had sex before her marriage that means she did not succumb to the sexual urge and after you marry your partner wil have lot of respect over you and in fact your partner will not think of cheating you in he whole life.
Virginity is all about being disciplined and having control over ones mind and who controls ones mind is more respectable.
Having sex before marriage is cheap and after marriage having sex with others is bad as you promised your partner not to cheat.
Indian or any Asian society respect Virginity because they are not conservative but those society try to control its individual from not leading a bad life and they often interfere in ones life not to disturb but to make sure that you are leading a perfect life.
Asian society make sure that whole society is leading a perfect, controlled life.
In western socities individuals are allowed to do whatever they want and they can not controlled by laws and rules, that is why marriage is not a important thing for you instead sex is important.
So called conservative society make sure no one leads uncontrolled life. Every one should have control over mind and body they will be given respect by everyone.
2006-12-02 10:08:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
From the Judeo-Christian background:
All believers, men and women, are expected to pursue a high level of righteousness and purity in ALL aspects of their lives. That means not lying, stealing, cheating, and -- yes -- no sex outside of marriage. Virginity is considered especially important because all the other forms of "unrighteousness" are commited outside the body, whereas sexual sin affects one's own body.
Putting the stuff about STDs and unwanted pregnancy aside for this discussion (although they are important topics!), I think that virginity is a good indicator of a person's commitment to purity in general, in all aspects of their life, and of their commitment to their religious beliefs.
Judge for yourself if such purity is a worthwhile pursuit.
2006-12-02 09:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by Eric 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is an age old method of devaluing the female. Its caused from a patriarchy who fears the power women have. Its unfortunate that women in general do not recognize the power we have to change the world. All it takes is raising better sons.
Btw, don't you think you'd get better answers in a more appropriate forum than GLBT?
2006-12-02 09:48:38 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it's more about health but there are some str8 guy's i know that think it's the greatest thrill to take a girls virginity. i don't know for me I'd want someone with a little experience, so that they can bring something to the game also
2006-12-02 09:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by Ron N 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
in my country to a certain extent....men still put heavy weightage on the women's virginity before marriage.....which is a bit over the board i think....it is nothing but a layer of skin to me...
if it's about purity, how about men, how come they are not gauged their purity? btw, women here kinda care bout their husbands to bes' viginity too...it's just the culture here....what a crappy world.....
2006-12-02 09:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by kempret 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋