my friends dad just died..?

Question

My friend was super close with his dad, and him as his younger brother lived with him. (parents were divorced). yesterday his father had a massive heart attack and died. It was totally unexpected and I know he's taking it hard. I heard him cry for the first time ever and ive known him for almost 9 years. He lives in North carolina, I live in wisconsin, so there isnt much I can do for him. My question is what can I do from here? and will sending a card and flowers help at all, or just remind him and make him feel worse?

He's 25. he called me yesterday to tell me and I dont have experience with losing a parent so all i could really do is listen. Another problem i have is he has a really strong NC accent so I cant understand what he's saying all the time. (he kinda talks fast too). I told him he can call any time if he needs anything, but I feel bad when he's talking about his father and i have to say "what??" because I didnt hear what he said, and I didnt want to guess and give the wrong response. But I told him once before I always say what because I cant ever hear anyone on the phone.

Answer 1

My Dad recently passed away and believe me the cards were a great comfort. Just knowing that so many other people were there for me. Also phone calls just to see how he's doing. Especially after the funeral. I found that right after Dad died there were people everywhere helping to support us...but after the funeral and everyone started getting back to their lives I was left feeling kind of alone...and with the business of getting ready for the funeral and wake gone there was lots of time to focus on Dad not being there anymore. I'm not sure what your relationship is like...but I know I had an out of town friend who offered to let me visit for a week just to get away from all the reminders. The holidays will be hard for him so let him know that you're there for him. Everyone deals with grief differently...and whatever way he chooses is o.k. Just be there and let him know that you care.

Answer 2

Sending a card and flowers will help. Also, be sure to let him know that he and his father are in your thoughts and prayers. Make yourself available to "be there" for him by letting him know that if he needs to tell someone more about his dad or needs to talk or needs someone to just listen he can call/E-mail/write you. Check in with him after things settle down from the funeral because that is when people often feel the most alone. Keep in touch with him often over the next several months.

Answer 3

Sending a card is always nice, but more important just let him know that he can call you at any time day or night. Sometimes it just helps to talk about it. A good friend will just listen and be there for him. I know you can't be there in person, but you can be on the phone. I'm so sorry to hear about his lose.

Answer 4

Sending a card and flowers would show respect for your friends loss and he would appreciate it very much. You can also let your friend know that you are a friend and as such if he needs to talk that you are there for him, regardless of miles between you. The telephone or internet can be used for communication and he will need to vent out his anger at this situation but it may take time for him to work through the stages of grief.

Answer 5

I think sending a card & flowers is a nice thing to do. It's a gesture that lets the person know that you are there for them.
It won't make your friend feel worse to know that you care, he will grieve his father's loss either way.
It can be very hard to know how to help someone who has lost a loved one, just hang in there & maybe lend him an ear if he needs it.

Answer 6

This is one of those hard questions, because each person goes thought the grieving process differently! One person might like flowers, and cards. Wile the other would just like just don't want any thing. Some people just have a hard time with death! It happens they will get over it. they just have to find what is right for them!


My recommendations are to just send your condolences and let him know that you are sorry for his loss!


I do wish I could help more!

Answer 7

I think sending a card and flowers would be a good thing to do. It will let him know that you care and that you are thinking about him. Flowers work wonders and can really cheer someone up, and just getting a card in the main can boost anyones mood. Just let your friend know that you are there for him and he can talk to you anytime about anything.........cell phones with unlimited night time minutes rock!!!!

Answer 8

Someone we knew since childhood died last week. His two daughters and wife must be feeling really bad. You can't just find words to comfort them. Just phone your friend, don't talk too much, let him, if he does. Or send him a card with a few words.

Answer 9

Send him a card, and if you talk on the phone, listen. He must be in a state of shock right now, and might not talk much. It might take a loooong time. (months...or...???)

Don't push him to talk about it. I mean it....when a person loses their parent, they are in an indescribable fog. If you are nearby, offer to handle some things for him...anything....but he might not be able to say what he needs.....ask his mom what you can do.

Answer 10

Let him talk about his Dad. My Dad died a few months ago. I have no one to talk to about it. He will be sad for a long time but he will eventually be ok. Just let him know that even though you aren't right there you are still just a phone call away.