How would you feel is someone asked your husband why he didn't use a bodybag for protection and his answer to the question was, "I don't like the way it feels, ask Lynn" which is an ex-girlfriend? How would any of you women feel if your husband answered a question like this and said ask his ex-girlfriend? This happened to me the other night. I've been w.my husband for 10yrs now, was at a funeral home the other night& some1 asked my husband how many of the children were his, and he said all 5 of them(his ex was there w/step daughter) and the other person asked didn't he know what protection was and this was his answer! my names not Lynn! It made me so angery, he grabbed me after saying it and I just threw my hand back & popped him one & walked off & left. I'm not going to stand there & argue w/him or any1 else about it, but he didn't have to say that, he could have said something else, but it hurts and it's stilling hurting as I type this out. But what would any of you do?
2006-12-02 00:28:16 · 18 answers · asked by kayren s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Popped him because he grabbed me from behind and I didn't want him touching me. I thought I hit his hat, I'm blind in one eye, it wasn't like I turned and slapped him just to slap him, I did it to tell him to let me go, because he wouldn't.
2006-12-02 00:44:19 · update #1
It was a woman that asked the question, not a man, and yes I'd seen the woman b4 but don't know who she is. And I did walk away when he let hold of me, and 1 child is by his ex & other 4 ours, and no I wasn't trying to make a scene at the fh(we were outside when it happened) and I've talked to the ex and it made her upset for him saying this also, and yes I've already talked to my husband about it the day after and he says it's all my fault! My fault for him saying it, no! I don't think so. He could have said it in a different way instead of saying his ex's name, he could have said mine, I have all the children by him, not her! And furtermore, what woman would like for her husband to say this? Not too many I would like to think. And I didn't mean to pop him, I just wanted his hands off of me when he said this.
2006-12-02 00:54:43 · update #2
I don't owe anyone an apoligy, and i'm not over reactive! If your wife or husband had done this you'd done the same if not more. Furthermore, I didn't hurt him he's the one that said what he said, implying that it was too fun not to use a rubber! As far as my being his wife, yes I am, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with everything he says or does! As for having a plank on my shoulder and sounding as a *****, this i'm not, any woman who loves her husband or boyfriend doesn't want to hear about the ex they had in their lives! I was mourning a loss, not their to speak of ex's and past relationships with them!!!!!!!
2006-12-02 05:05:47 · update #3
Yes, it's upsetting that this has happened to you. He shouldn't have said this and the person asking the question shouldn't have asked the question in front of children, no matter what the age of them being. And for asking this at a funeral home wasn't a place to ask. It doesn't matter if it was a man or woman asking your husband the question, they should have had more respect than asking him that question to begin with. As for your husband he could have just said, I love my wife and this is what happened we have all these wonderful children to show for it. No, slapping him wasn't the answer, but if you told him you are sorry that's all that matters. You have to forgive him for what he said and he has to forgive you for what you did. If the two of you truely love each other it doesn't matter what other's say about the two of you. But he should have had more respect for you and not said what he said. Good for you that you walked away when you did and the next day the two of you talked about it. I'm also glad that the ex and you had a talk about it and she was sorry for the way your husband acted also. It's good that the two of you can talk about it. You have to learn that each of you have a pass life without each other and that sometimes you may have to deal with the ex's, but try to get along with each other. Hopefully your husband has learned that bringing up an ex in front of you that he shouldn't do this. God Bless you and your family. Just pray and the Lord will help you both.
2006-12-02 05:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That old saying....."there is a time, and a place for everything?" ring a bell?
Give me a break hon. The man is with you. He used a condom with his ex - he didn't with you. I will say it again; we cannot control what others say or do. Perhaps the situation of being in a funeral home and I don't know who passed, prompted your behavior when this happened? I don't know!
One thing that I do know is that you handled the entire situation as a self serving person and made yourself look very bad. So, nope, you don't get my vote on the way that you behaved or the scene you created.
Sounds like you need to take a deep look within yourself as to what prompted this reaction.
Now, to answer your last question; I would have ignorned the entire conversation and waited until a later time to "gently" bring up the comment and discussed it in the privacy of my home with my husband. On another note; I would not have done what you did.
Hope that answers your question. Btw, if you keep letting yourself react like this over silly superficial comments; you're only pushing hubby away. Use your head!
2006-12-02 08:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just don't understand the relationship. After 10 year of marriage there should be respect, resilience and responsibility.
What class of people said this to your husband. Did he feel he needed to be the "big guy" and act like a big shot or were they just kidding around like two old boys from school. Bodybags are funeral related, was this an old friend from back in his crazy dating days? If this isn't a normal friend that hangs around I wouldn't worry about it. But if this guy was referring to the way you personally look, your husband if he is a man of character should have said something to stop it. That's dis-respect.
But I dont know either of you. Take a girls day off. Ignore him and go shopping. Leave him in the dust to think about what he said.
If he really cares about you- you could confront him and tell him he owes you an apology for the other day. If he just laughs in your face then he doesn't care. Good luck, am so sorry.
But from a girls point of view. I'm glad you hit him and walked away. It showed your husband he was majorly out of line.
2006-12-02 08:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by Have Faith 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How to put this so I don't get bounced for insulting remarks?
You were at a funeral. That is a place where emotions run very close to the surface and remarks are not tempered with much tact or judgment. To that end you can be somewhat forgiven for being a bit upset about an obviously thoughtless remark regarding the size of your husbands member. The other remarks were stupid clumsy remarks about the strength of his sperm. All of this was inappropriate in a normal setting but is to be expected where the attendees are family where this sort of banter often takes place. That is as far as I can go in trying to understand your reaction. You seem to be walking around with a whole plank on your shoulder much less a chip. You so overreacted that it escaped description. You had better figure out what where this attitude came from and put it to rest or you will be forever viewed as one hot headed biitch who is extremely insecure regarding her role as your husband's wife.
You owe everyone who was witness to your even more inappropriate behavior a huge apology. Best you explain it as the emotion of grieving instead of what it looks like, the outburst of an immature girl who is not secure about her own marriage relationship.
2006-12-02 09:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my, what an inappropriate response (your husband's response to the protection question, I mean)!! Was he drunk? I can't think why else a rational married man would make a comment like that. Wow.
It sounds like he was purposely drawing attention to the fact that he dated and slept with his ex, or perhaps flirting with her? OR, he let it fly out of his mouth without thinking about it, and it was just momentary stupidity. I think that if I were you, I would forgive him, but I'd sure as heck make him BEG my forgiveness. Work it !
2006-12-02 08:33:49 · answer #5 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's possible it was just a slip with her standing there and all I guess it depends on what he's done about it after.... if he has apoligized you need to let it go. Yeah I agree that sucks, but you dont need to be looking like a angry/ beoch either. Just tell him that sucked big time and let it go. You are the only one getting chewed up over it.
2006-12-02 08:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by aka.rene 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him how he made you feel.....see if he apologizes...then move on...they are just words and he probably meant nothing by it....you've been together for 10 years so you must have something good together...don't ruin that by letting some silly comment fester and hurt you....he may have just been bothered by seeing her there....who knows..in any event ...good luck and you should behave better at a wake or a funeral then to pop him and walk out....
2006-12-02 08:33:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be like you, Ive told my boyfriend that I dont want to hear anything about his ex's becuase its in the past but if he said what your husband say I would find it hard to trust him because he didnt need to say that and in front of other people. By him saying that, it tells me think that he dont care about you much and I think that no one would get over what he say and why should you!! Its all down how much you love him and if you could put it in the past??
2006-12-02 08:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by xx angel 3m xx 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I must agree with you. That was extremely inappropriate and uncalled for and I feel for you. What an *** (sorry). I am sure there is something that you can say or do to make him feel just as foolish as you did at the time. If you are the better person you will just let it go. Again, what an ***!
2006-12-02 08:34:07 · answer #9 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It might have been a slip off the tongue, I have remarried and a few times i have called my now husband by my ex husbands name and i cringed when i did it. My husband has called me by his ex-wife's name too once. Its just a mistake
2006-12-02 08:52:50 · answer #10 · answered by angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋