I am pregnant at 19 with my b/f's kid. We have been together for four years. He agreed to stay by me. I am really scared and worried. He's calm and reassuring. Is he not worried?? Why?? Is it wrong to be worried?? WHY ISN'T HE WORRIED????????
Why doesn't he just say he's worried?? He knows what I'm going thru. He's there each morning with me. Why can't he just say how he feels?? Our friend died in child birth. Is he trying to be strong for me??
We are engaged. It happened b4 the baby.
Is he truly scared or just indifferent??
We are both very rich-both have rich families supporting us thru this. We have a house. He was the one who wanted to keep the baby. I was unsure and he said to keep it.
Will he accept the child or feel like I ruined his life??
2006-11-30 23:38:29 · 26 answers · asked by Amabell 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I also have been told there is a high risk for premature birth.(it runs in my family, I was two months, my brother was 3 weeks early). Will this or me being a tiny(5'1 100lb) vegetarian hurt the baby??
2006-11-30 23:40:48 · update #1
Am I wrong to worry?? Is he staying calm for me??
2006-11-30 23:46:11 · update #2
People are just different. They identify stressful situations differently, and they handle them differently. For example, my mom panics and flusters in a stressful situation, and I am ice cold, calm and collected until it's over, then I crash. He's just identifying and handling it differently than you are, and that's OK.
You indicated that you and your family are affluent. This is great. Talk to your doctor about your concerns about premature births in your family, and follow the doctors recommendations for proper nutrition, exercise, and other pre-natal care.
Your doctor might also recommend a counselor for you to talk to if this is really affecting you emotionally. Your system is making drastic changes to host this baby, that can contribute to your highly emotional state, but being aggitated all the time is not a warm fuzzy place for your baby to grow. Perhaps a little educational / hand holding therapy will help you turn this into a more positive experience for everyone involved. The best Mommies know when to call in a little extra help. Be the best you can be!!
Best wishes to all of you for a happy, healthy, welcomed baby!!!
2006-12-01 00:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by onenonblonde 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, breathe
Stressing yourself out is not helping you or the baby. The fact that he "agreed" to stay with you (by the way you typed it, it seems like your saying he is staying with you because your pregnant which trust me is a bad idea) It's not wrong to be worried, it's perfectly natural. He may be a lttle concerned, espically for you but I bet he just stays calm and collected for you. The fact that your engaged tells me he has feelings for you and that's good. Feel lucky and privileged, you have a house, and what sounds like a good fiance helping you. Lots of pregnant girls don't have that. If he said he wanted to keep it then he wants to keep it. I'm sure he doesn't resent you at all. Being that you guys were engaged before you got pregnant shows me that obviously, eventually sometime in the future he was planning on marrying you and I'm assuming eventually having kids. I think it might have happened a little sooner then you expected but it will still be a good thing. Enjoy it and be happy.
2006-12-01 08:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man usually doesn't act very diffrent until you LOOK pregnant. No matter how much you talk about it, it just isn't real until that little bump pops up.
It sounds like you're actually very lucky. A supportive fiance, 2 supportive, wealthy families & now a baby.
Try to think positive and read books or internet articles, but don't think more than a couple weeks ahead at a time. Or it can become overwhelming. It's an amazing little journey your going on. With modern science, you don't have to be too worried about the labor. The chances of childbirth fatality is .000118 %. It is extremely rare and on a constant decline.
2006-12-01 08:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a great guy! He's probably not worrying because he doesn't need to. He loves you, your engaged to married and this is just something he probably wanted to happen later but it's happened now and he's accepted it. It doesn't mean he's not worried but he's just better able to accept it.
Don't think everything that happens to other people will happen to you. Get to a doctor and get the facts, take BF with you. Tell the doc your concerns and you'll receive the answers you need to calm yourself down. It's okay to be scared as this is your first child. Get all your options and make a decision from there. Sit down with both sets of folks and let them know what's going on.
Communicate, communicate, communicate with your BF. Make sure you're both on the same page with what your decision will be. This is a tough time for you, but it really will be okay. As in all marriages, one partner handles certain things better or differently than the other. You seem to have good support from him and he'll worry when he really needs to worry. Take care!
2006-12-01 07:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by Dimomma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are doing enough worrying for the two of you, which by the way is really not necessary. Calm down and enjoy each and every moment. You are both so young, but so very very fortunate that you don't have to worry about the financial part of all of it since both your families are "rich". To me that is one of the biggest worries your boyfriend should have, but since that doesn't seem to be a problem than he really doesn't have any reason to be worried. I am sure he has concerns that you and the baby are healthy, but there is no reason to make yourself nuts about it. As for ruining his life.....he had sex with you and obviously knew that this could happen. He could have said no and shown more respect for you and waited until you were married. He did this to himself. Try and calm down, talk to your doctor about any concerns you have, even if you think they are silly. You need to be strong and mature for your baby. Good Luck to you.
2006-12-01 07:56:58 · answer #5 · answered by goldengirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is I will pray for You, to be honest modern technology has got a lot further since the last time what You are worried about happened in Your family was when technology was not so advanced.
Your boy friend is probably not showing that he is worried as a guy I know that we try and look very tough but really we worry most of the time just as much as women about issues like this.
Again i reiterate I will pray for You, God will help hes the man.
2006-12-01 07:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Jesus_is_31337 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he have to be worried? If he loves you and asked to marry you maybe's happy! And the chances of you dying in child birth are low and ne bein a vegitairan does not mean you will have a smaller baby, as long as you get enough proten and take your vitimans your child will most likely be fine and as far as being a premie 3 weeks is not bad 2 months isn't even so bad the bab can live outside the womb and be ok, don't worry your about to have something wonderful in your life be happy!
2006-12-01 07:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first, he's just a guy. My hub acted the same way. Rememebr humans were ment to have kids!! it's natural, and will go normally. Now second. If your so rich and well set up stop worrying. I was 5 months prego and living in a tent in Delaware Winter, not fun, my preg turned out fine, and we are on our way back to the good life. Thrid, unless your doc tells you you are higher risk, then dont worry. Family doesnt exactly reflect whats going to happen to you. Good luck, and if you keep stressing you will miss carry. Fourth: you will not die in child birth!!! it is so rare nowadays to die in child birth, usually due to serious complications beyond a doctors control, but at that point you should just not worry. Chill, and enjoy your pregnancy, you dont have to feed it every 3 hours right now, or wipe its but every 4. Good luck, really.
2006-12-01 07:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by Holly M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When i first found out i was pregnant, i was scared too. I was scared that i may regret having a baby, was scared that my partner may resent me in the future, i couldn't understand why my boyfriend was more relaxed about me being pregnant than i was, as we had previously spoken about not having children for a long time.
I think its partly your hormones that you feel worried, and i don't know when that goes away. Its also a daunting prospect giving birth and being responsible for a child.
Try talking to your boyfriend about it again, stay calm and just explain all the reasons why you feel worried, there must be some worries he as himself.
I'm now 20 weeks pregnant and although i still worry to much (my little baby has had everything that could possibly go wrong with him/her, in my imagination) i feel more confident about having a baby. I too have a supporting family and boyfriend and i just constantly bore them with all my worries, and they tell me that whatever happens i will get through it.
I really feel for you, its very scary being pregnant, but try to relax as much as you can, and keep talking about it and hopefully you will feel better.
2006-12-01 07:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by retardomc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in the exact same situation-19 with a BF, together 4 years. We've been togehter 7 years now. He acted the same way yours is. Maybe he's just exceited that you two made a child. Of course he's not going to be as worried as you. You're the pregnant one with raging horomones and sickness out the wazoo, a fatigue beyond belief. I'm pregnant now with my second child and he's just as calm AGAIN! It erks me still, haha.
Good luck sweetie :) Don't be too hard on him :)
2006-12-01 07:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by ~Anna~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋