can anyonetell me of there experiences with coming out to there children, my daughter is 7 so i don't want to tell her yet, but when is the right time
2006-11-30 23:35:35 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My daughters fine with it, though to be fair it's natural to her. Ive been in a same sex relationship since she was 1, and been with my new partner for a year. There's a book you can buy called Heather has two Mommys. Look on Amazon for it, or Google it. You should find out what she knows about family make-up and explain to her the different types of families. My daughter went through a stage of saying 2 women couldn't get married, and she wouldn't believe that they could until we attended our friends civil partnership this year. I later discovered her Dad had been telling her 2 women couldn't get married so he got a stern talking to too. You'll probably find she's at lot more open-minded than you think she is and won't even bat an eyelid. Have you got any other gay friends who are in relationship so that she can se its normal and not something to be ashamed of?
2006-12-03 05:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by lisa_m_preston 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 14 and my partner and I have been together for more than 10 years. When my daughter started school I told her that some people might not understand that her "other" mommy and I sleep in the same room, so not to get into it with others. I explained that there was nothing wrong with it, but that some people just don't like it and I didn't want anyone to be mean to her for it. The most important part, really, is that when her friends parents inevitably asked her (my daughter) if my partner and I shared a room (after they'd been to our home) that she should say, "I don't know, but I'll tell my mom you want to know and she'll tell you". Oh, the backpedaling people will do. Seriously, your child will have some negative consequences (mine did) and it will hurt you - you'll want to go hurt the people who say their kids can't play with yours (or play at your house because being gay is like we're pedophiles). Still, the best thing that you can do is to prepare her and explain that you don't understand either why some people think it is wrong for people to love each other, but it's not. Your daughter will have more compassion and a stronger character if you're honest about it now. Mine does, although I still tell her it's not her fight. But God help anyone who speaks badly of gays in front of her. She'll tell them about themselves - even here in Texas. Good luck!
2006-12-02 16:30:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When do straight parents come out to their children?
You don't have to make a big deal of it. If you have a significant other, don't hide your affection for her in front of your daughter. Chances are, your daughter will catch on. If she asks about it, tell her that there are all kinds of families - some have a mommy and a daddy, some have one mommy or one daddy, some have two mommies or two daddies. Teach her that loving each other is the most important thing.
The sooner you do it, the better. Kids are a lot better at understanding things like that than teenagers or adults. Kids take it all in stride - they haven't been taught how to hate yet.
2006-12-01 01:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by lillielil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you leave it then when she gets older she'll have her own ideas about 'Gays' and 'Lesbos', and i can probably guarentee that they will be negative. in my secondary school I was innundated with anti-gay propaganda from other students.
To avoid her thinking of gays in a negative way, and thus when you tell her either splitting her world in half, or making her hate you, tell her now. Let her meet your friend when she's ready, remember all children can feel threatened when their parent gets a new partner, and let her know STRaight away that you being gay is NOT a bad thing, and anyone who says otherwise is ignorant.
(Note; I do know that some poeple find gayness a difficult concept and try to avoid it to avoid the problems they face in such situation. Those people, who do in fact have all the facts and know they should not be against gays, but find it uncomfortable none the less, are not ignorant, just unable to break years of 'training' during their youth)
2006-12-01 02:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by ffkali 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you will need to let her know very soon. My youngest daughter turned 7 a few days ago and she has been aware of same sex relationships in and around us namely her best friend has two mums and her big sisters godfather sleeps with another boy for over a year now. We had the general conversation with both the girls the younger one had absolutely no preconceptions and understood very well where as the nine year old had some and took a little while to come round to the idea her godfather is gay. In the end they are both very understanding.
2006-11-30 23:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
My dear woman. I'm asian and we're super conservative about it. But my auntie came out to her daughter and she's grown up to be a happy -go- lucky teen. What she did was told her daugther about her other mama when she was 4! yes.. 4... and all 3 of em stay happily together now.
Well, in your case, perhaps you could break it in softly by bringing your partner over. Go out dinner together. Get them to socialise with each other and talk to her about going holidays together.
Basically, break it in to her so gently that is seems so normal to her. However - BEWARE.. her schoolmates may pick on her so never her know the whole lump chunk of news till she is totally confident.
Cheers from a Queer myself.
2006-12-01 01:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it was a normal thing or something that was beyond your control in a heterosexual relationship, it would be difficult enough. Since it isn't natural affections, expect it to mess with her head no matter how you put it or when. No matter what you say, it's every child's desire to have a mommy and daddy in the home and you are cheating her of that. God love her little heart. I know you will hate and call me names here but you simply aren't thinking straight to make someone innocent suffer for your wrong choices and that makes me so sad to see innocents suffer.
2006-12-01 09:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hmmm... thats a tough one. im in a same dilemma but im not worried about any children since i dont have any but im worried about my family. as much as you hope your children would accept it easily, they wont.and sometimes it would depend upon ur children's maturity level. some kids accept this kind of situation easily but most do not. because they feel the need to fit in the society and they are afraid of being teased or being unwanted by people because of someone who's related to them as being 'gay'. children often live up to the expectations of their peers. and this kind of situation is embarassing to them. wait for the right time. that's the best thing that you could do right now. you know you're children well enough to know the right time. good luck karley!
2006-11-30 23:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by chay 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hy hons gay boyfriends daviie and steevie hons gay porno stars and nude waiters gay mens bar restaurants hons and male stripperss hons. at around 9 years old take the child into a bathromm and sit her downe on a toilet seat, and take the phone off the hook. say look its time we explain the birds bees too you okay. start out with the natural process of men and womenn. look at her directly in the eyes and say look this goes no further than this house and listen good its our last only conversation on this. explain the natural way that nature takes its course ans say look this may be your choice i n life as you get olderr. then go on to say look moma is diffferent okay in your ways of life. tell child along the way look you can make up your own mind as you get older but mooma is different okay and try too explain to her how you do the process with your partner okay. be direct and when your done say look this is the only conversation we will ever have on the birds bees okay, walk out and never discuss it againn, any questions ask them now.
2006-12-01 00:44:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
jus ask her whether she understands what a gay relationship is and if she doesnt then tell her and explain how u like people of the same sex rather than the opposite she will have 2 find out sooner or later its beta tellin her than her findin u wif some1 and wonderin wot u r doin
2006-11-30 23:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by Craig C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋