I'm a 37-yo MWM that has an absolutely wonderful wife and two beautiful daughters. My mariage is perfect except .... after our second daughter was born, about 5-years ago, my wife lost her libido and, despite talking with her OB-GYN and other professionals, she has zero sexual desire or intimacy. My problem is that I love sex and physical intimacy, and I don't want to continue this course and never have that physical relationship and intimacy, but I don't want to "cheat" on my wife; and I am tired of "self gratification". Trust me when I say we have talked about, and tried, anything and everything short of a sex therapist which she adamantly maintains will never happen, What do I do? I'm frustrated in more ways than one.
2006-11-30 23:28:12 · 10 answers · asked by Patrick D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can only try to imagine how frustrating this situation would be for you. Ofcourse you don't want to cheat on your wife, that doesn't solve problems, it creates more. If your wife loves you as much as you love her then l feel she should agree to go and speak to a sex therapist if that is your last resort. Surely she must realize how frustrating it must be for you !! Try and make her see reason and let her know how much you miss the intimacy you both once shared. I honestly feel for you but don't know what else to advise. I know l could not live without intimacy and lovemaking, and l'm sure l'm not alone there. I really hope you and your wife can sort out your problems. Good luck
2006-12-01 00:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your wife says no to therapy that can perhaps help put the spark back in the relationship, how committed is she to saving the marriage? If you are in a situation and need help, do your turn help down, if you do, then you must not be in that much trouble. Better have your wife look at things from a different perspective, reevaluate whether or not she even wants to be married, and in some cases, when a woman has lost her sex drive, she does it anyway to please her man. That's called self sacrifice. There would be no reason for me not to want to service my husband if all is well within the marriage. Is there something that she's not telling you? Explore all angles, not just the sex.
2006-12-01 09:00:14 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her talk to more professionals until she finds some help. Antidepressants and other meds can cause these problems or she may need testosterone. It could be hormonal. She has to keep persisting until she finds a doc who will figure it out. If it comes down to the sex therapist being the answer and she won't go, then you need to tell her you don't have a perfect marriage and you won't live your life like this any longer.
2006-12-01 08:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried getting her in the mood with romantic evenings?
Or maybe watching adult content movie's? It is a difficult situation and you do not want to undermine your marriage, but a successful marriage has to include great sex, even if it's 2 days or 1 day a week. Your wife will need to find a compromise.
Good luck.
2006-12-01 08:01:43 · answer #4 · answered by Denny Crane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that your find yourself in this plight. I too am in the same situation. You are not alone. There is a support group for people who are in this mess. It is called SWAGE. You might want to check them out. Their URL's are given below.
I am willing to bet, your wife doesn't even think there is a problem, and if she does think there is a problem, she probably has told you, you are the one that has a problem. (My wife ended up accusing me of being a sex addict.
Don't know what the solution is, but come join SWAGE and help us find one.
2006-12-01 08:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, your in BIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGG trouble. If she values your marriage she better get some help. I lived a life similar to yours and now my wife has the dubious honor of having the prefix of "EX" before her title of wife. IF she won't at least go to counseling then she doesn't value your marriage very much. Good luck and I say that seriously.
2006-12-01 07:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by jeffzster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bottom line....if she had a desire for you she would have sex with you. i do not want to make any assumptions, but i imagine you work and she takes care of the kids. in fact she takes care of the housework, cooking and everything else. get of the couch. help out around the house more, go to the gym, take an interest in her day....it'll come back around.
2006-12-01 08:15:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take your wife back to the GYN... if they dont help her, then tell her sex therapy is the only other option... you do not want to live in a sexless marriage... you will be bitter if you do
2006-12-01 07:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just think if it was you not giving it to her how she would feel, i know sex is lovely but there is more to a relationship than just sex so do you love her not don't presser her just be patience
2006-12-01 08:13:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your wife for an open marriage... :D
2006-12-01 07:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋