My family only buy the “under 16’s”, my parents don’t even buy for my bro or I as they feel Xmas is too commercialised &prefer2 buy gifts during the year–so we don’t really celebrate Xmas. My husband has 2brothers&1sister–who always spend £100 including partners and parents (none of them have kids) whereby my husband has 2. We can’t afford the £550 this year (we have just got married) -so I suggested a “secret santa” so we only have to buy1 gift as opposed to9.They ALL said xmas isn’t xmas without presents so it was dismissed. No one can afford it but will buy gifts for every1 & get into debt JUST to get presents in return.I feel his family are being greedy &am reluctant to buy gifts as I don’t want debt-but I don’t want to make a fuss as this has been the “norm” for them forever!My hubby agrees with me – but doesn’t want to change the “tradition” My argument is a) we cant afford presents b) I would prefer 2 buy gifts for my hubbys kids rather than “adult” family, what should I do?
2006-11-30 22:27:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Find a Charity that you and your husband agree on and make a small contribution to that...in your IN-LAWS name. Then, give each of them a nice card with the Charity's Information and how much you gave in THEIR name...
Then, buy something for your step-children and each other. It doesn't have to be large...just something you picked out for each other.
2006-11-30 22:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by BITE ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I can relate to this situation, and I totally agree that X-mass should be for children. It has really gotten out of hand. The prices of things today are out of control and it should be a time to get together and enjoy stories of the past, laugh, eat together and appreciate what you have but the best is watching the kids they are the best present to view at x-mass (also animals(pets) that anyone can receive. I would(have)bought the same gift for everyone the adults, a x-mass ornament, gloves, a decoration, made cookies, a gift certificate for dry cleaning,movies,coffee & bagels, nails (manicure) Gas (car fuel) car wash things like that you can just spend $10 and it is apreciated because it is something needed and will be used (REMEMBER IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS) And if they don't like it say "Ok I'll return it for you......... period don't tell them you are going to replace it with something else & you can use it for yourself HA HA
I think thats good, I just thought of it
I'm sorry, are you following this short novel of mine?
ANYWAY
My mom told me when I was younger that OLD PEOPLE like food they don't need anymore nik naks {Ha I have to laugh now because I thought that 50 was ooooooLD when I was 9.......Now I'm 48 and I still don't think I'm old, the body feels it, and my 24 year old daughter, thinks it.
Any way I hope I helped some what
GOOD LUCK & Merry Christmas to you & yours
2006-12-01 07:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I understand where you are coming from. What is that about anyway?? I tell you what to do, tell them that either you do a Secret Santa, Dirty Santa or when they buy your and your husbands gifts, please give money so you can pay off your debt!
Christmas is a celebration of Christ birthday. Christmas isnt Christmas without gifts????? I beg to differ.
On both sides of mine and my husbands family, we buy for his parents (and we all go in together) and we buy for each others children, but we only have 4 on that side.
On my parents side, the men bring a mens gift and the women bring a womens gift and we set a maximun price on it. The spending limit helps a lot. This year our limit is 40 dollars.
I think that your husband needs to speak to them. You are just married, so with that being said, He needs to stand up and speak with them. This is his responsiblity since it is his family.
TRADITION??? His family has a tradition to go into debt?? I dont understand? A tradition is hanging lights together, putting up the tree together, picking out a christmas ornimate together, not going broke!
Also, another suggestion is this, tell them not to buy for you all, because you are not buying for them. Tell them that you cant afford to spend that kind of money and to please respect your wishes.
Also, your marriage is new, you have to come to an agreement here. Meet in the middle.. Offer some alternatives..
Hugs
2006-12-01 06:40:40 · answer #3 · answered by sheheart77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So dont buy presents. I agree christmas is too comercial. We do not exchange presents for that reason. The little ones get hats and mittens that fit their personality. I take my grand kids to the tree place fire up my chainsaw and cut them a tree every year. (They get a big kick out of that) We have food and each other what more do you need. Stick to your guns and start a new "tradition" one everyone can afford.
2006-12-01 06:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is for kids. You are not obligated to buy for adults. If you feel you must give your husbands parents and siblings a gift. Make them some cookies, wrap them in Christmas paper, and put on the tag...With all our love. If they are disappointed, so be it, but i think they will love the gift.
2006-12-01 06:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by ob10830 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give them all some coal in their stockings for being "naughty" (a.k.a. greedy, pushy bastards).
That will learn them to try and force you to buy presents. If you give in then you will have to give in every year. Your hubby agrees with you, so take a stand and let them know that you will not be a part of it.
You let them push you with this and next thing you know they are pushing other things like how to raise your kids and changing your religion, etc. Stand up for yourself now before it's too late!
2006-12-01 06:34:45 · answer #6 · answered by Caramella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could suggest that all the adults draw names rather than buy for everyone.
It'll be a little cheaper and a lot easier to deal with. That's what we're doing this year since money is tight for everyone. Drawing names and buying for that one person makes more sense to us anyway.
2006-12-01 06:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
open a Bible and ask them to show you where it states that Christmas is about giving presents. or worse....shock them all by signing up the entire family to go down to a soup kitchen for the day to volunteer. inform them all as you drive down your gift this Christmas to them is the life experience of showing them what the time really means.....past presents.
if they even dare open their mouth past this.....I'd remove myself from them as its not people you should hang around with...even if family. they are pure materialist people and don't care about family except what they get from the family.
2006-12-01 06:32:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would just get them cards and tell them we are sorry but cannot afford presents this year. And not worry about it.
2006-12-01 06:36:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and my sister-in-law should join the selfish club!! Honestly! Who cares what you do in your own family? Your husband's family doesn't care! You should do what they expect and stop complaining.
Oh, and by the way, it's NOT xmas, IT'S CHRISTMAS.
2006-12-01 06:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋