i am getting married end of this month. but she tells me she doesn't mind me having girlfriends after marriage. she doesn't mind if i am would be in a different r'ship with a different woman or if i am just having casual sex with other women. she says i can do it if it makes me happy. and she says she will stay with me till death. however, i am very crap actually when it comes to picking up women for sex. i am an introvert & a long-term r'ship guy.
how strange is this?
2006-11-30 22:25:06 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
totally abnormal,or maY B SHES TOO DOES THAT
2006-11-30 22:27:34 · answer #1 · answered by oh its me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not nessacarily abnormal. There are diffrent reasons why women do this. Some do it because they feel men are incapable of being monogomus and its unrealistic to make a man be faithful. Maybe she really is open to you having multiple partners, maybe shes saying that too see what your reaction is to it and wants you to say no I only want you ( this may be a trick so watch out) maybe she thinks your a great guy and does not want to loose you so she says its ok because she would rather have you cheat on her then too leave her which could come from low self esteem, or maybe she wants to see other people. Or maybe she thinks shes ok with it however when it happens she may get jealous and mad. Since you say you are a long term realtionship guy ask her why she brought this up, does she still want to see other people after you guys get married, does she thinks all men do it, also did into her past has she been cheated on alot and if so this may be why she said this because she feels their is no guy out there that is faithful and feels like she would rather be in a realtionship then nothing at all. Personally even though she has gave you the go ahead dont do it. Women try to play the role of the cool gf or chick and say yah I dont care were cool like that or yah we can have a one night stand or being friends with benefits but in all reality most women can not handle this. Or maybe she is just really secure with herself and does not feel that by you sleeping with other women she is going to lose you.
But all in all do not do it if you want to have her for a long term more then likely it will destroy the realtionship even if she does say go ahead.
2006-12-01 06:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Syrinthia C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither Good nor Abnormal. In fact it sounds more like "I do it, so you do it too". But there could really be two reasons behind this. 1. she is really very open minded and gets a kick out of what she is asking you to do and foresees joining you for a threesome in future. 2. She has some dark secrets in her past (has had a relationship) and by allowing you to have flings with other women she wants to bring you in the same league so you wouldn't mind when you find out about her later.
2006-12-01 06:40:09 · answer #3 · answered by The Dream Merchant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a common marriage arrangement. Will she also have the leeway to have other relationships? Seems only fair. Most people do not have open marriages. And the few that do have been set up that way from the get go of the relationship...not from the onset of marriage.
You two need to sit down and talk about this....It doesn't seem natural in your case.
2006-12-01 08:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very strange...and I would say that the only reason that a woman would allow that to occur is if she wants to do the same thing....I would think twice about your marriage to this woman. Unless you are prepared for her to be having casual sex with other men, then send her on her way.......you can do better than that....you deserve someone who will be honest and faithful and who won't put your marriage or your health at risk...good luck to you
2006-12-01 06:33:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she says it is ok for you to sleep with other women, then you need to RUN LIKE THE WIND. Do not marry her. That means she Wants to sleep with other men, and you should not get married.
YOU DO NOT SHARE YOUR FAVORITE TOY. and if you are married - your partner better be your favorite bedroom toy.
She is a liar and a cheater and is probably getting married cause you have money. GET THE PRE-NUP signed if you really plan to go through with this, but I promise it will not last.
Good luck getting out. Go find a nice girl that isn't a weirdo.
2006-12-01 06:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by Night Train 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, it sounds like this woman is not the right one for you, especially if you are a 1 woman type of guy who is looking for something more traditional like marriage and long term relationships. It is totally on you to decide this one!
2006-12-01 11:49:30 · answer #7 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T MARRY HER. I don't know her, but a woman who says that is not obviously in love with you. There's only one explaination for her demeanor: 1) noe being in love with you, she's marrying you for money, fun or for other silly reasons, and by allowing you to have sex with other women, she's paving the way for her future sexual experiences with other men. WALK AWAY AND NEVER GO BACK.
2006-12-01 06:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by Love_my_Cornish_Knight❤️ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is telling you is ok for you to do it so she doesn't have to feel guilty because she is probably doing it already with other guys, and the fact that you are a good introverted guy that want to commit in a long term relationship makes you the perfect husband with whom to have this kind of extramarital behavior.
2006-12-01 06:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW dude, the girl has issues. Lot of good answers here. Lots of valid and varied opinions.
POINT IS ... are you o-k with all the possibilities? She seems like a lot of fun, but I wouldn't bet on her long term. She will likely break your heart at some point.
2006-12-01 06:40:52 · answer #10 · answered by firefly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe what you say about yourself is true. You are no good at picking up girls and so by saying that she has no risk that it will actually happen. So it just sounds nice.
Alternatively she wants you to say the same to her to give her the freedom to enjoy other men.
2006-12-01 06:30:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋