ok. ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years.. and living with him for 2 years.. but were not married. ANd i met this guy about 6 months ago that Lives with his girlfriend and they have a child together.. but there not married. The relationship started out as a friendship but one thing led to another.. and me and the "other guy" have agreed that we are boyfriend/ girlfriend. I love my Real boyfriend alot.. but i love the other one tooo and he loves me.. i know its wrong cause he has a kid but im in love. Call me a ***** or w/e but it is what is is.. but my question is.. is it really an AFFAIR? since neither group is married? and could the other man leave his other girlfriend to be with me ? Even though theres a child involved? Please help!! thanx.
2006-11-30 21:44:37 · 17 answers · asked by LifeisCrazy. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What can help you is to keep one relationship at a time. Picture this: What would you feel if your boyfriend is having an "affair" with another girl while both of you are still on? Not so good, right?
It's so easy to get tempted and try to bite everything that comes your way. But you can overcome this by establishing a moral standard that is acceptable.
all the best.
2006-11-30 22:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a no win situation. If you loved the boyfriend you live with, there would never have been an "Affair". Which you obviously are refraining from calling it. Married or not, it's infidelity. Besides that six months is not a long time to know someone. It maybe an old statement but it's a true statement. If He'll cheat on her, he'll cheat on you. Children bring alot of stress on a relationship. Isn't it nice that she stays home with the baby so you two can ==== around. What if you were her? Doesn't sound like he's helping out with the child or there wouldn't be any time for you. Is that the kind of man you want? How would you two feel if the tables were turned, and your boyfriend was having an affair? Don't think is not possible, your giving to this man what you should be giving to your old man. Relationships go threw ups and downs, That,s when you work on it or get out, not cheat. Do whats right.
2006-11-30 22:07:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not the smartest cookie honey
no good girl would interfere with a man with his girl and kid
you are in a relationship and he is in a relationship what do you see is hard to swallow when you are aksed about it?
if confronted with it from the mom how would you be feelling then?
what would you be feeling if you were the mom and you had a kid and your babys dad was going around beind you?
how would that affect the kids life?
you trying to break up a family is the reason so many families suffer because of lusty girls or guys jsut not thinking and being selfish
jsut walk away and find a new relationship and drop whoever you are sneaking behind too no one needs a person that is so selfish and heartless to not think about others life and needs and relationships.
if you knew what love is you would make better choices and not jsut think of what you are getting but what other people get from what you do and if you were in love then this would not be a problem.
if one thing led to another then you wanted it to happen or you would have respect for other peoples life you are jepordizing and not let it go that far but you didn't and you are not the one who deserves repsct for that i would hope the mom goes easy on you i would not.
she should be told about it and they could work on what needs need to be met so their famiy can work it out and not be split and that kid can have a good together family as most people want or wished they had growing up but they didn't becuase of people like you.
or whatever it is what it is? wtf???!
you are in love you don't care about how that kid is going to feel about his dad or how he has to watch his mom try make it?
it is not an afair but the worst heartless story of betrayal and immaturity and jsut dumb girl and faithless guys. if you really loved them you would jsut break it all off and walk away and hope theyu work it out and your own guy figures you out so he can find someone that won't waste his time and get something serious.
2006-12-01 01:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's low, stealing a man who has a child with someone. You are about to rob a child of its father and cause problems between his mom and dad forever. Can you live with that? Is your "love" more important than this poor kid's life?
Sure, the guy would leave her but how do you know he won't leave you after? Look at his morals. He's about to leave his little "family" to have an affair. He obviously doesn't have much loyalty, not even to his own blood!
Most likely, if it wasn't you he would leave her for someone else, but do you want it to be on YOUR hands?
It doesn't matter if you're married or not, cheating is cheating. If this is something that you both hide from your bf/gf then it IS an affair.
Stop being selfish. You both should be ashamed of yourselves.
2006-11-30 21:58:57 · answer #4 · answered by Caramella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that none of you are "married" doesn't mean it's not an affair. The most important person in this situation is the CHILD of your affair boyfriend. You 4 adults are playing with fire and each of you could get burned, as well as that CHILD.
Regardless of what the others do, you need to back off the affair guy, and also consider the danger of continuing in your first relationship without a real commitment. Can you see that your lack of being married to your main boyfriend in the first place has possibly led to your "allowing yourself" to hop to another guy as well. You should probably dump both of them and be by yourself long enough to get your thinking straight. These unholy alliances will trip up your life and don't think it will stop with the affair guy. If you don't back off both men and consult God's Word for direction, you will hop from affair to affair to affair to affair. Each time you hop, your life will become more destroyed and complicated, and possibly your health... Next, some innocent child (of yours or someone else) will get hurt in the "crossfire." Stop. If your main boyfriend isn't appealing enough to keep your eyes on him only and marry him, then he isn't The One and the sooner you stop deceiving yourself that you can do things your way and not consult God's way of handling your love life, the sooner your life can get on the track it was supposed to be.
God WANTS you to find the Mate He has in store for you--MORE than you want to find your perfect Mate! But, the longer you play the game by your rules, the longer He will wait to introduce you to the Mate He has already picked out for you (and God picked out your Mate before you were even born). You need to back up and wipe the board clean and start over. Decide to ask God to direct you to the right Mate for you. Until then, God says, "Talk to the hand." Remember, He gave you Free Will. You can use your Free Will to screw up your life (and others' lives), or you can use your Free Will to turn your Free Will over to doing things God's way.
2006-11-30 22:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by MandaPanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the fact that both of u agreed for that relationship is already an AFFAIR..and both of u are committed with someone..although neither u or him u are not yet married. But the questions are..whom do u love most..& which one do u prefers to leave because of the other..can u imagine urself in the shoes of the other girl if he choses to be with u and leave her and the kid..simple questions...but hard to answer. Just think about it...and goodluck!
2006-12-01 01:02:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a home wrecker and a heart breaker. Nobody deserves someone like you, I can guarantee that you felt the same way about your long term boyfriend when you first met him. With the new one you will only go and do the same to him in 5 years time. You are neither fit nor worthy of deserving a relationship, in fact you are a piece of sh*t.
2006-11-30 22:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you do need help.... u need to learn to control yourself and learn to be HONEST with your so called real bf ...learn to have some guts girl that goes for this guy too,,, if you grow feelings for someone else the right thing to do is break up with the other person before u take the next step with the other person. don;t matter if your married ot not,,if your in a relationship the commitment the same unless you both agree to swing or whatever... your just making trouble for people who love you and yourself .....
2006-11-30 22:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he hasn't left her in 6 months, it's not likely he will
and if he does leave her, what makes you think he would never leave you once he finds some other gal he likes even better ???
best to stay with the b/f you are living with & hope he never finds out you cheated on him
and it's still an affair ..... may not be married, but commitment generally EXPECTED when living together
2006-11-30 21:50:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like you are wondering if it is adutlery. No, considering adultery is done when you are married.
Is it a betrayal of trust on both your parts yes it was. I'm not going to call you any names on this, sorry. You get to call yourself whatever you want.
The fact of the matter is you and this other guy were both given someones heart in trust. You did not keep that trust and did something that hurts the people that gave you that trust.
2006-11-30 21:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋