i care for my husband, but i am not in love, we have no sex life, is it fair to me to stay when i know i need more than what we do. maybe we will do it once a year, but what about my needs. i have ask him, can we have sex out side of the marriage. he said, he dont want that. but i need something, do i have an affair anyway,please i need help, or sex, i am beginning to have dreams about me having sex, please be fare to me , what do i do, i have been talking to another guy, but i have not cross the line YET. when the med start the sex stop, i cant tell you the last time, about 3-4 years.
2006-11-30 20:41:42 · 15 answers · asked by queenmidas1014 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to see a doctor. As he has blood pressure I don't know if they can prescribe him viagra. You don't mention if his blood pressure is weight related. You need to see if his lack of performance to have sex is a physical or psychological issue.
Regardless of the cause, he needs to realize you have needs and if he refuses to meet those needs he's on notice and unless he comes up with an alternative you both can agree with you are going to figure out a way to get those needs met. Because for better of for worse goes BOTH ways. If you have to put up with his worse it's time he got a taste of his own. It's unfair to you and he should still be able to perform. This is a major issue and it only be resolved one of the following ways:
1.) he changes and meets your needs
2.) he doesn't change but gives you an alternative option to see someone for sex only
3.) you stay and get something on the side
4.) You leave and start a new life.
5.) you stay frustrated
You can see a counselor but I'm pretty sure there isn't anything else they are going to suggest that I didn't list already.
In the meantime I suggest looking at purchasing a sybian or some kind of vibrator like ohmibod.com something that might help take the edge of or buy some breathing room for the two of you.
I've included a few link that may prove useful. Hope things work out.
2006-11-30 22:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by Cybrocupid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haven't you heard about the little blue pill. Medications can take away the desire and the function. But the little miracle pill is out there now. Talk to you husband , take him to a doctor. You made promises for better or worse. Don't throw away a marriage , when there is medicine out there that can , but a spring in his step and a smile on your face.
2006-12-01 01:01:12 · answer #2 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My life with my girlfriend is the same way yours is with your husband....We havent had sex going on two yrs now....we need to meet...this is very hard
to live with I need to start an affair or I will intrupt....Cant think of anything that will help outside of having an affair
2006-11-30 20:53:52 · answer #3 · answered by jcxiv_1 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even if you are having a loveless marriage, it still isn't right to cheat on the spouse. So my advice to you is to repair the marriage--- go on dates again, have fun, etc... And if this isn't the solution, then get out of the marriage.
2006-11-30 20:46:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about this problem and what it might result into if he continuously cannot provide for your conjugal rights. you should also bear in mind that the lack of sex in the marriage can be a ground for divorce, but i advice you to firstly get the reason behind the lack of sex
2006-11-30 20:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by ntu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some meds such as blood pressure and anti-depressants cause sexual problems. Better or worse, remember these words?What if he cheated because you gained weight or your boobs sag,,lol,,,,?,,,,how would you feel? Ask his doctor about changing is meds.
2006-11-30 22:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its never right or fair to go outside a marriage. That was a vow you took. But if you don't love him anymore, you need to explore why. good luck
2006-11-30 20:47:47 · answer #7 · answered by Cdn_Superdave 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
almost all men "lose it" at 50 or so. high blood pressure, diabetes, and other factors are contributors. viagra or other similar products will help if he medically can take them. get him to a doctor and get him a prescription.
2006-11-30 23:09:47 · answer #8 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a vibrator. If all you need is plesure you are a grown woman get some. You dont need a man for that !
2006-11-30 22:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, to me cheating is not the way to go. if you do not love him dont cheat on him, divorce him. u need to be with someone u love, it may break his heart, but u have needs too, so instead of lowering yourself, do the right thing.
2006-11-30 21:27:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋