LITTLE THINGS about the FUTURE =====================?

Question

I have a boyfriend of 9 1/2 months. We've been friends for over a year before that. We're in our early 20s.

We talk about marriage all the time and our future kids. However, little things about our future seem to clash. Like he wants dogs. I don't want slobbering pooping tearing things apart machines. He wants to be able to pee in the shower. I don't wanna shower in that. He wants to wear shoes in the house. I don't want whatever he stepped on outside (poop, mud, gum, etc.) all over the house. I know these are little things, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Is it too early to even be thinking about these kinds of things in the future? Should I worry about this way later? I really don't know if he's downright serious about that kinda stuff. I don't wanna surprise him and bring something like that up outta nowhere.

I know it's normal in a long term relationship to talk about the future. And compromise is important.

I'd just like to hear what you guys think. Thanks. : }

Answer 1

Bamma says this guy's a slob. You are not. One or both of you will have to change. Good luck changing a man. Get used to the dogs and pee or find a more suitable mate. Bamma otta know.
.

Answer 2

That's cute. If that's the only thing you two have to worry about then your on the right track. Relationships are about compromises. The things you are talking about are easily fixed. Just remember compromise works both ways. It sounds like he's a regular guy. If he wants a dog then tell him it has to stay outside and he has to clean up after it. The peeing in the shower thing isn't that bad of starts pooping in the shower then you have some real problems. And the shoes inside the house is a respect thing. I'm sure he will be able to deal with not wearing shoe in the house.

Answer 3

The best thing to do is to talk it over. Perhaps you may do some things that annoy him too. Also remember that compromising is key. For example maybe the two of you could pick out the dog, one that is calm. Also maybe have in mind certain rooms where shoes are off limits (Bedroom and bathroom specifically). Or maybe rooms that have carpet are off limits. Your on your own about the peeing in the shower ;) However I believe it's a mental thing. Afterall the pee isn't there when he's done taking a shower.

Don't get rushed into getting married. With the high divorce rate nowadays, you'll appreciate it in the long run when you know that you are fully prepared for anything that comes your way.

Answer 4

You both are young and need to learn about compromise and sharing.
If he loves dogs, and you hate them, do you dump him?
If he gives up wearing shoes in the house, is that enough?
Why is he telling you that he pees in the shower?
All men do that, but is he too honest or just dumb.
Nobody can tell you what to do.
But if one person thinks that something is really important to them, and the other says no, it may not work.
Caring and sharing.

Answer 5

its those little things that will grow into HUGE things if theyre not figured out before hand. neither one of u has to give in just compromise like dont get a BIG slobbering dog maybe agree on a small breed, tell him if he insists on peeing in the shower be kind to you and rinse it before you use it, as far as the wearing shoes in the house buy him a nice pair of comfy slippers to leave by the door ,he can leave his shoes by the door and slip those on when he gets home . i hope this helps you and remember its a partnership. good luck and good love!

Answer 6

I think you're smart to think about those little things. Little things only become bigger problems later. Not the reverse. If he wants dogs that's not going to change he's always going to want a dog. I'm an animal lover who grew up w/ tons of pets (seriously, tons)and that is one thing in my life that would be a deal breaker. If you don't like animals you're not the one for me. We all grew up in different homes(although peeing in the shower wasn't acceptable in mine) and somethings we have to accept but only you can decide what you can compromise on. Good luck to you

Answer 7

First, don't listen to bamma because bamma talks in 3rd person.


Second, to anwer your question:
everyone goes through this stuff.
Most guys want to pee in the shower and get a dog.

These are just little things. don't let them bother you. As your relationship matures the two of you will grow closer and closer. A good relationship is built on comprmise...
He may have to give up on trying to get a dog if you let him pee in the shower.

Something to that effect.

my brother wanted so much to smear cake in the face of his wife on the wedding day but they made a deal for something else he wanted more than that.

If te dude cares for what you have he'll pick his battlles, as should you.

Answer 8

Tell him to take his shoes off or clean the house, but peeing in the shower? I've encouraged my husband to pee in the shower, guys miss the toilet or splatter the walls, especially with morning wood or when they wake up half asleep in the night. And if the bath is in your bedroom who wants to be awaken by a bright light, the sound of tinkle and a flush, better the sound of a gentle shower in the dark.

Answer 9

I think you over thinking his too much. Marriage is about compromise, like you said, but also about accepting your partner as a unique individual and accepting that people dont always agree with everything. There might be things that he doesn't like about you and there is things you dont like about him, but if you decide to get married, you should either try to make things better for the other person or accept things the way they are. If this bothers you so much, then maybe you should rethink your relationship.

Answer 10

ok here's my two cents, all dogs aren't like that, you're not gonna take baths in pee cuz it doesnt happen constantly, the shoes can be a compromise, and tell him you don't want some stuff and he won't do it. and if you cant deal with these things your with the wrong guy anyways. but im sure he will understand if you plainly express your views to him in an open discussion.

Answer 11

ok in a relationship you have to be comfortble with your partner-no matter what!!!!i never thought i could live like that-except for the dog part, but here i am almost a year later, cleaning up his messes and doing his clothes. there are days i love it and there are days i wish i was on a far island away from everything!!!

dogs are not that bad- i promise. i have a beagle and she is my baby! maybe that is just because i love animals though....

as far as future plans- i still talk about the future with my fiance' it is normal in every aspect! just means you want a future for the two of you!