have a boyfriend we have been together for 6 years.I am 24 and he is 23. both good looking and educated... I have moved here for 3 months and we have been apart since then.He wants to move here and marry me. We are REALLY good with each other and have so muh fun nd love each other SO MUCH, but the problem is that he is SOOOOOO jelous and gets mad whenever I talk to any guy or laugh or anything. When we are together, we are perfect, but when I even TALK to another guy,(i repeat...talking, not flirting or something) he becomes SO sad and sometimes doesnt say aythingbut suffers inside... I dont know what to do :( sould I break up after 6 years or I have t quit talking to all male creatures!!! cause I am sure I cant change him. I have tried for 6 years but failed....
2006-11-30 18:57:38 · 28 answers · asked by alwayss_ready 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I knw he does it cause he loves me. I have talked to him. but he thinks it is ME who should change, and he thinks you cant have any Guy friends if you are with somebody...But I know that I do nothing bad with others...So WHY should I be kept from half ofthe world?!
2006-11-30 19:39:43 · update #1
Sounds like he has big trust issues, you should talk to him about your concerns, if not I would walk away..... Jealously can lead to violence
2006-11-30 19:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by Midnight Runner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is insecure and borderline paranoid. Even if you decide to be reclusive and not talk to any men, he would still be harboring notions that you were doing something behind his back. My understanding is It's a progressive delusion. A point will come when being late 1 minute coming home would be cause for a fight. Violence would not be far behind after that.
The quicker you break off the relationship, the better it is for you. Unfortunately it won't be for him... he will find another girl victim and the cycle would start all over.
If you are thinking of playing nurse or psychiatrist, don't, it's been tried many times, sometimes with tragic results. Perhaps there are some success stories elsewhere but it must be well kept secret... I have yet to hear one.
Think hard, make a list of the pros and cons of prolonging this unbalanced relationship...then act decisively...for your own good and sanity. Good luck!
2006-12-01 05:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by McDreamy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think to yourself, can you live without this guy? would you ever find someone that could compete with him, or is he truly the one as i think no one could ever compete with my husband!! and if you think that it could never get any better, i.e someone kinder, funnier or gentler, then you should go for it, and 6 years is a special, long time for you to be able to make this decision!!
If you decide to stay with him, then you should tell him how you feel, and tell him in a way that makes him feel so special, i.e 'hes your no.1 and you never ever want another guy, and you love him more than anything in this world, but hes too controlling....' if you make him feel loved and your no1 then he will feel more secure. At the end of the day tell him you will always go home with him. And i think for you to declare to him that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, this is a very special thing, and something that proves that he is the only guy for you!!
Im 26 and i married my husband at 25, i had known him 14 years before that, and intimately for 8, he is a very attractive guy, but he was also a little insecure and jelous when i spoke to other guys, but the more i told him i loved him and that he will always be the only one for me, the more he felt secure, and this isnt an issue for us anymore!!
I hope this helps, good luck!!!!
2006-12-01 03:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by sabina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have a life if you must walk on egg shells find a new partner who is willing to be a part of your life but doesn't want to control you this behavior is a control thing and it is definitely not love trust me. If you don't break it off now then you might as well get use to being abused because this is what happens next with control freaks. Good Luck
2006-12-01 03:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by yahoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is that much jealousy coming from him when you talk to other men then I'm shocked that you have lasted for six years.But considering the fact that you have been together for that long you should try to remember one thing.....The grass always APPEARS to be greener on the other side but when you get there it may be a different story. If that is the only problem that you have been having....COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. Jealousy is no where near as bad as him lying, cheating on you or beating you. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
2006-12-01 03:16:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's your choices. You can stay and accept his behavior. Break it off because of his behavior. Or my recommendation is. Tell him you will not marry him unless you both go to couples counseling to get the bottom of his problem. If you love him and he loves you...Then you both shouldn't have a problem getting some therapy and a better perspective on why he acts the way he does.
There is a reason behind it. But it's not up to you to "fix" him. He has to want to fix himself. If he refuses. Perhaps marriage isn't the best idea. People don't change unless they believe that their behavior is a problem and then take the proper steps to take care of it and themselves.
2006-12-01 03:05:14 · answer #6 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him about how it keeps you from marrying him. He should get over it. It's not like he's born jealous but something hurt him bad that makes him jealous. This is what I would do, talk to him in a serious manner, take him to the bedroom, and tell him that only he gets the special treatment, and you give the craziest most wild bj of your life. Complete with sucking his nuts.
2006-12-01 03:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by Julio Cesar C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, six years is a long time to be in a relationship without trust from your partner, but he's not going to change. Move on now while you're still young. You'll find someone that believes in your love and will trust you.
2006-12-01 08:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband was the same way i would not marry this kind of man it will only get worse in time you see it now and he tells you now he's this way cause he loves you so much. but thats not love in the end he'll make you cry keep you locked up and make you feel miserable and you won't have a happy life
2006-12-01 06:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot prevent talking to other men for the rest of your life. If you go to the store and the cashier is a guy, you have to talk to him. If you ever get a job, chances are that they will be men around. If you stay with him then be ready for a lifetime of issues.
2006-12-01 03:02:04 · answer #10 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd break off with him if I were you.
It's hard, but this won't change unless he is given the incentive to change, and he needs to trust you if you are going to be any good together.
If he is at all serious about you he might try and be willing and able to change. And you can consider whether that will work.
But you need to take that first step.
2006-12-01 03:00:32 · answer #11 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋