I have a friend that is so kind and gracious. Absolutely beautiful girl approached by nice guys all the time and never dates them. Instead she focuses on these guys that are totally "bad"! They have tattoes and the words that come out of their mouth are profane. Many have usually been to jail. In the past she has told me about how dominant they are and controlling in the bedroom. She says she love that about that them. She is totally attracted to these guys and only these guys. I could not understand it until recently she told me about her first experience and it was a violent sexual assault. To make matters worse she was a virgin. I saw the connection immediately and tried to help her see it. She told me that's the past and she is simply a good girl who likes bad guys. However, I do remember that a couple of months ago she said something about not feeling normal. I am trying to help her but now she says that's the past and she's simply submissive.
2006-11-30 18:27:14 · 4 answers · asked by Enchanted Crystal 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
~She's suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She does not want to deal with the past, so she doesn't want to talk about it, and blames it on something else.~
The disorder is often associated with soldiers who cannot shake terrible memories of battle. But there are many other people who get PTSD, such as victims of violent crimes like rape or assault and survivors or witnesses of an accident, natural disaster, or terrorist attack.
Post-traumatic stress disorder can cause flashbacks, which are vivid, disturbing memories of the traumatic event. Many people also have sleep problems and nightmares. Feelings of detachment, guilt, or paranoia and sometimes panic attacks also can occur. People with PTSD may also develop depression and be at increased risk of suicide.1
Try to get her in counseling, show her this link if you can. Good luck.
2006-11-30 18:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is such a thing as Stockholm syndrome that can result in identifying closely with the one who hurt you.
The thing to remember about rape victims is that they usually stay away from sexual encounters. The fact that she is not reacting in this way says to me that she is either 1/in denial or 2/has come to terms with her history.
If she is truly in denial then she truly does need help. However, it seems to me that she is simply not comfortable sexually. Those who feel themselves to be lacking in that category are usually very submissive. This requires less effort on their part in the bedroom and as such helps them hide what they feel is a serious shortcoming.
There are some who are simply submissives. This is not a bad thing and is not to be treated the same as someone who is 'ill'.
As for her going after 'bad' boys. She may not feel that she can truly 'catch' a good guy. Sometimes people who are victims of such horrific things feel that they will not ever be able to be accepted in normal society.
2006-12-01 02:42:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Crystal, You are a true friend. She does need help, but she has to ask for help herself. It's really nice that you want to look after your friend,but she doesn't want your help.Just let here be,and wait to see if she can see what she is doing.That's the only thing you can do.
Clowmy
2006-12-01 02:43:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As hard as it's going to be for you, you're going to have to stay out of it...
If she asks you again, then tell her how you feel, but if not, you have to STAY OUT OF IT! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Just be there for her when she needs you, and mind your own business when she doesn't!!!
2006-12-01 02:37:44 · answer #4 · answered by purplepartygirrl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋