suppose that after having a drink your spouse sleeps with a hore.then is it the alchol's fault?does being drunk made him lose his mind and commit adultry? or that drinking made him lose his inhibition and do what he really wanted to do? suppose you have been watching porn with your spouse for sometime and he goes abroad to have sex with a stripper. is it your fault that you made him see porn and now he is doing it with a hooker? or is it his friends fault that he has done it? or is it just that he doesnot want you sexually but loves you still?so confused.
2006-11-30 18:21:58 · 15 answers · asked by atahsina 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he hasn't grown up yet and blames everyone else for his decisions rather than facing up to them and being a man. No one can make anyone do what they dont' want to do. He's using all these excuses as a crutch rather than dealing with his weakness the man can't say no plain a simple. If everyone jumped off the bridge would you do it just because???
2006-11-30 22:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good night! You watch porn with your hubby and you wonder why he has sex on the brain? He has good looking babes on his mind. Porn makes sex seem thrilling, even adventurous. It is all an act, but your hubby thinks it is real. He wants some of that, but social conventions prevent him. Pour in alcohol, and there are no more social conventions. Oh, I am sure he loves you, but you can't compete with fiction. Screwing a strange lady has excitement to it. It is thrillingly dangerous. I am sure he is sorry he got caught. If he values you at all he'd better forsake his wayward ways. Alcohol does not take over. It inhibits your inner governors, but it does not rob you of free will. You still have to yield to those impulses that come. However, for a man, there is a point of no return. The ability to choose comes before that point of no return. A man knows when that point is coming up and can avoid. The bad thing is that there is a natural barrier against adultery. It is not easy to cross that barrier, but once you do, then there is no barrier anymore. A pastor of a thriving church had such an indiscretion in his past. All forgiven; wife still with him. Enter one lovely lady to worship God, who had magnificent breasts and the pastor couldn't control himself. They were hot and heavy until they got caught. Then it got public and nasty. Suits and counter suits; a veritable soap opera in the daily rag. Once you cross that line, it is hard not to go back. Would he like you catting around? Hardly.
2006-12-01 02:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say a piece of booty is just that. As long as he loves you and comes home TO you I personally think a little piece every now and then is o.k. plus the fact that he is honest with you about it says he does love you.....maybe you should find someone too,and be honest with him and then he will know how he makes you feel when he goes out. It may make him think twice before doing it again-on the other hand you may end up liking it !
2006-12-01 02:29:45 · answer #3 · answered by pammi_b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line- is - we are responsible for out own actions and he is responsible for his- he has a free will and he used it- if he got drunk and hit someone in his car and killed them= whose fault would it be?? His=I would not put up w adultery= esp more than once- take care of you and family= he is a liar and a cheat=D
2006-12-01 02:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol is deffinately something that will loosen you up. But he is responsible for his actions regardless. Talk to him about it and ask him for the truth. Decide if you can get past it and forgive him. If not then it really doesn't matter what the cause was.
2006-12-01 02:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by mistique1818 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, no one does anything that they dont WANT to do.
When one does such things as you mention....The EXCUSES are made so that there's no responsibility taken for those sorry actions and poor choices.
2006-12-01 02:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, your spouse has no respect for you. Blaming others or circumstances for his behavior is no excuse for his behavior.
Try marriage counseling, or just leave him. He committed adultery and he will keep doing it.
2006-12-01 02:26:49 · answer #7 · answered by ginger13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not one "thing" Makes someone do the things they do. Each person has "free choice". Each person decides their own actions. Those that blame their actions on others or things are immature.
2006-12-01 02:25:28 · answer #8 · answered by MizElizabeth 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
None of that is normal. If this is happening to you then get out you can and do deserve better.
Sounds to me like he doesn't love nor respect you.
Get out!
2006-12-01 02:24:04 · answer #9 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, alcohol doesn't "make" you do anything! It simply loosens you up to do what you really want to do! The guy is a pig...but you already knew that...!
2006-12-01 02:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋